It’s not that there’s anything wrong with their two toddlers (ages 1 and 3). It’s just that Pythagoras and I have not been around small children…well, ever. We don’t know many people with kids, and we agreed very early in our marriage that we didn’t wish to procreate.
(As a side-note, ladies, if you’re looking for a thoughtful birthday gift for your husband, a vasectomy is not the right choice. Post-surgery, however, a pack of frozen peas will be met with great enthusiasm).
|Ozzy with a look that means "gotta go."|
Having two extra adults, two toddlers, and a teenager in the house for the weekend gave me a deeper admiration for the authors out there who do what they do with one or more children in the house. Agents, too, for that matter – or really any professional who juggles parenthood with a career that requires creativity.
My fabulous agency sistah Kiersten White frequently blogs about her wee ones, and our agent Michelle Wolfson often takes to Twitter to share tidbits about her own 1-year-old and 4-year-old.
After this weekend, all I can say is DEAR GOD, PEOPLE, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
The noises, the smells, the screaming, the messes, the blare of cartoons, the regimented nap schedules – and that’s just the adults.
|Bindi and Matt snuggle prior to a wrestling|
match that will require a referee
Seriously, I don’t know how authors with small kids can handle it. I sure as hell couldn’t, and I’m deeply grateful I’ll never have to.
Don’t get me wrong, my four-legged brood can be distracting. There’s Ozzy the slightly-incontinent old man dog whose hourly bathroom breaks can cut into my writing time. There’s Bindi the 1-year-old Australian Kelpie (i.e. herding dog on crack) who will spontaneously combust if I don’t get up and walk her. Even the cats make demands on my writing time, with Matt the Cat preferring to nap on my lap, and Blue Cat preferring to nap with his head on the power-strip (a situation that results in frequent, unexpected restarts).
|Blue Cat naps on my power-strip.|
But that’s nothing compared with what you parents of small children deal with. For that I raise a toast in your honor.
With a very, very strong drink.