tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post7843779362666009576..comments2024-03-11T16:14:49.158-07:00Comments on Don't pet me, I'm writing: Are you expecting to lose?TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-91413772684779365222011-07-09T10:14:02.840-07:002011-07-09T10:14:02.840-07:00A girlfried of mine used to say (when guys asked i...A girlfried of mine used to say (when guys asked if she'd call them): <br /><br />"Expect it, but don't wait on it." <br /><br />I think that's the perfect advice for writers. <br /><br />I want to be a household name, at least in my genre. I won't die if I'm not, but that's where I'm aiming and what I'm expecting.Claire Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14354840714847021685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-23459995894565202612011-07-06T18:16:46.690-07:002011-07-06T18:16:46.690-07:00I think they say that because they don't want ...I think they say that because they don't want to look like they were so confident they were going to win that they prepared a speech beforehand. But I also think that a lot of them probably practiced what they were going to say in the mirror at home.Neurotic Workaholichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06775298184138766683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-71553557180213868462011-07-06T13:10:56.925-07:002011-07-06T13:10:56.925-07:00I just finished reading "The Secret Affair&qu...I just finished reading "The Secret Affair" by Mary Balogh and while it wasn't my favorite book, I really liked how the heroine believes that people shouldn't "want" things, because that implies they might not get them. They should instead "expect" things. I don't know if I could live that way (self-doubt and all, ya know), but there is something to be said for envisioning yourself where you want to end up. Like, say, on the podium thanking all your awesome fans.<br /><br />I haven't even written a RITA-eligible novel, and I've got the acceptance speech half-constructed in my head. Never hurts to be prepared. ;)<br /><br />CyndiAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01332426347997158850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-51516248040173915372011-07-06T12:12:05.150-07:002011-07-06T12:12:05.150-07:00Also, telling people how much you hate public spea...Also, telling people how much you hate public speaking or didn't prepare is a good way to lose their attention at the get-go.Christine Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711726941768571495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-33448486027062177122011-07-06T12:11:22.311-07:002011-07-06T12:11:22.311-07:00You make an excellent point!
I think Jeannie Moon...You make an excellent point!<br /><br />I think Jeannie Moon hit it on the head. When I was in middle school I ran for class secretary. The leadership teacher read everyone's speech before they gave it, and somewhere in mine I said, "I'm probably not the best candidate there is, but..." and he said, "if you don't think you're the best, why are you running?"<br /><br />Truth is, I was dancing around false modesty and an inferiority complex. He was right. I needed to accept the fact that I did believe I had something to offer no one else did, and that was what motivated me. <br /><br />And that was okay.Christine Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08711726941768571495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-64363667169394307842011-07-06T12:01:29.181-07:002011-07-06T12:01:29.181-07:00Were I ever to be graced with a Pulitzer, spurting...Were I ever to be graced with a Pulitzer, spurting man chowder might not be so metaphorical. But that being said, it's as good a reason as any for that sort of thing--probably better. <br /><br />But I digress.<br /><br />I generally believe in the principle of self-fulfilling prophecy. So while I agree with comments about jinxing yourself by being too arrogantly prepared, it isn't hard to have a couple bullet points rolling around in your head just in case. If a person has gotten far enough down the writer's road to be nominated, I see no reason for that person to not also believe they have a fighting chance to win. <br /><br />As a street prophet of wisdom born in popular cinema, I present Robert Duvall in Secondhand Lions, "You believe in those things--- because those are the things worth believing in."Mark Simpsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-85973295424837869982011-07-06T11:55:35.212-07:002011-07-06T11:55:35.212-07:00I think it's sad that people aren't willin...I think it's sad that people aren't willing to risk a little disappointment in order to hope for a win for themselves. To me it would be such an honor to be nominated I'd feel duty bound to consider the possibility that I might win and prepare for it.<br />And, BTW, Tawna, if you're ever nominated, I'm going to that conference just so I can hear your speech if you win.<br />Can you write an acceptance speech that uses the phrase manchowder from a pork sword? I bet you can.Judy, Judy, Judyhttp://www.noveltruths.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-3271561293409473852011-07-06T11:16:37.003-07:002011-07-06T11:16:37.003-07:00I'm still pondering the "man chowder from...I'm still pondering the "man chowder from a..." OH! okay. *snort*Teri Anne Stanleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15500524348027951939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-28658944393750353542011-07-06T10:42:27.981-07:002011-07-06T10:42:27.981-07:00I'm with you on this completely. I mean, expec...I'm with you on this completely. I mean, expecting to lose is like stomping on your novel and saying, 'Not good enough!' Which is sad, like you were saying. Humility is good, it really is, but I think there's also a fair amount of humility in admitting that sometimes the story isn't your own work of genius, but a great story that you were just the vessel for. That's my opinion, at least. :)Bethany Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12829932931010851406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-68149606571023966602011-07-06T09:07:46.130-07:002011-07-06T09:07:46.130-07:00Question, because I really don't know: Was the...Question, because I really don't know: Was there a finite list the winners were chosen from, like the Academy Awards? If so that means each nominee had an x percent chance of winning (one out of five, 20%, for example). Then the odds are still against you yes, but high enough I would think one may want to think about the what-if-they-win scenario.<br /><br />I agree that one doesn't want to come off cocky (maybe that shouldn't be paired with the pork sword comment), but I like to see a little confidence.Jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12321865399706410702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-72779610914892830012011-07-06T08:52:22.148-07:002011-07-06T08:52:22.148-07:00I've also noticed these "I didn't exp...I've also noticed these "I didn't expect..." speeches and want to yell, "then why try?"<br /><br />There may be some male-female issues in this mix regarding humility vs arrogance. It was a male speaker at a workshop on success that described it as men like to choose friends who have a greater success ratio so they can tap into the, "I hang with winners so I am one." But women find comfort in a we're-all-the-same so they can commiserate about their trials and efforts, and a win kicks them out of the herd.therese patrick, authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14624202282411832436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-86068873107926266252011-07-06T08:50:32.729-07:002011-07-06T08:50:32.729-07:00Be right back, I'm busy contacting the Golden ...Be right back, I'm busy contacting the Golden Hearts/RITA folks to order them to award something to Patrick next year just so we can see his acceptance speech.Laura Maylenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18058744860709615256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-33480205203739236622011-07-06T08:49:37.898-07:002011-07-06T08:49:37.898-07:00"Man chowder from a pork sword"! *Rolls..."Man chowder from a pork sword"! *Rolls on floor shrieking* Thanks for starting my day off right.<br /><br />I don't know that I'd have a polished acceptance speech ready, but mine would definitely include a sincere thank you and a big grin. Not, "I didn't expect this." If I work hard and do my best, some little part of me expects to be rewarded.<br /><br />Maybe so many people react that way because it's difficult for people to accept a compliment graciously. In everyday life, how often do you hear "What, this old thing?" instead of "Thank you"? :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-22209652846520913962011-07-06T08:45:08.580-07:002011-07-06T08:45:08.580-07:00I think if we don't believe we can be the BEST...I think if we don't believe we can be the BEST, why do it? When I write, my goal is not to be a midlist author, it's to be a bestselling author and I want to win a RITA someday.<br /><br />I've always told my kids, whatever you do, strive to be the best. If you don't want to be the best, what's the point? And I do think you can aim high and be humble. The two are not mutually exclusive.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02849370947985905108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-34969577746797726602011-07-06T08:07:50.545-07:002011-07-06T08:07:50.545-07:00I agree with what Jen wrote about about needing to...I agree with what Jen wrote about about needing to have faith in ourselves to carry us through the bumps. I can't comment on the actual speeches because I wasn't there, and I am no star at public speaking either. But, the larger issue for me is the practice of imagining success, the goal I want to achieve. It's a way of creating my own story, the narrative I want to unfold ahead of me. It's easier to work towards a goal that I have clearly in my mind. Plus, honestly, it's fun to imagine what I'd say to Oprah . . .Lisa Ahnhttp://lisaahn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-63325267627158602362011-07-06T08:07:40.950-07:002011-07-06T08:07:40.950-07:00Patrick's comment wins!
I wasn't even th...Patrick's comment wins! <br /><br />I wasn't even there and even I noticed this through the RWA tweets. All I kept thinking was, am I the only one who runs her kids out of the kitchen so she can act out her acceptance speech. Oh yes. I do. Often.Crystal Poseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09939745305440912406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-62657211369352225182011-07-06T07:59:12.419-07:002011-07-06T07:59:12.419-07:00I think they did expect it--they just lied in an a...I think they did expect it--they just lied in an attempt to pull off the whole humility, gracious nod to the other noms, "wow, really, me?" thing. Personally, I think it is IMPOSSIBLE to pull off anything in life if you don't first believe in it, next, work like a dog for it, and then, expect it to happen. Even then, it doesn't mean it will. And I'm not saying that those receiving the awards were not being genuine, I'm just saying they didn't know how to genuinely say, "I wanted this! I wanted this so much!!" Without the fear of sounding like greedy, outcome oriented hand rubbers. Honestly, most writers I know have been so humbled by the whole publishing process that when they smile, you can see the gaps where they've had their teeth knocked out. So when they finally get an AWARD! They say stuff like, "Wow, I didn't expect this..." <br /><br />Of course you did. You had to in order to even get here. Personally, I don't think it makes you a bad person to want recognition like that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07447701441177564869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-62128591468393486212011-07-06T07:53:12.705-07:002011-07-06T07:53:12.705-07:00For me, it's a superstition thing. I'd be ...For me, it's a superstition thing. I'd be afraid preparing a speech would jinx me. Like when I'm at a rodeo, and I refuse to look at the trophy buckles before I rope. Except with the speech I'd be so anal about being cool and composed I wouldn't be able to resist planning something, so I'd have the whole thing memorized in my head anyway, so I might as well write it down, right? Except maybe it's the actual writing it down than would jinx me...<br /><br />It sucks when my phobias start butting heads.Kari Lynn Dellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06864636462802149247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-53618435213852175922011-07-06T07:52:47.923-07:002011-07-06T07:52:47.923-07:00My favorite acceptance speech was when Emma Thomps...My favorite acceptance speech was when Emma Thompson won for best screenplay for Sense and Sensibility. (I forget whether it was Oscars or Golden Globe--it's an extra on the DVD, however.) She read a lovely speech prepared as though Jane Austen had written it. It was entertaining, gracious, and thanked all the people she wanted to thank. A role model if I ever find myself receiving an award!Jennifer Delamerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17490970028157998967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-16905677103150515492011-07-06T07:49:43.510-07:002011-07-06T07:49:43.510-07:00Also - it is unfair that you can put "manchow...Also - it is unfair that you can put "manchowder from a pork sword" in a conversation and everyone thinks you're cute, but if I was to say such a thing....Patrick Alanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01121337008453549441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-30422448469257103452011-07-06T07:40:38.706-07:002011-07-06T07:40:38.706-07:00When I win my RITA, I am totally going to snub the...When I win my RITA, I am totally going to snub the other nominees and say, "let's be honest, we all knew I was going to win, because I and my book are just that awesome. Kudos to you for acknowledging that."<br /><br />And then I will tear my shirt off and flex for the remainder of my allotted speech time.Patrick Alanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01121337008453549441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-73323496147935176632011-07-06T07:39:05.384-07:002011-07-06T07:39:05.384-07:00You make an excellent point - we SHOULD expect gre...You make an excellent point - we SHOULD expect great things. But I can tell you it's a hard road to travel (yes, i said hard) because it leads to so much disappointment. <br /><br />Take me, for example, I entered SEND and my last book in the Golden Hearts. I think SEND is my best book to date and my scores? They were EXACTLY the same as last year's. This was such a major let-down for me, so much so, I vowed no more contests. <br /><br />If I may post unsolicited advice in response to the whole public speaking thing - Dale Carnegie. Dayjob sent me to a Dale Carnegie class and it truly helped me overcome my paralyzing fear of speaking in public. In fact, I've gotten quite good at it.Patty Blounthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11928111057602279792noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-16266015312150345252011-07-06T07:17:44.884-07:002011-07-06T07:17:44.884-07:00I agree that we should always expect it, at least ...I agree that we should always expect it, at least a little. The drive that gets us this far is what will give us that expecation. We've worked hard, surely we deserve the recognition? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that conceit and overconfidence are called for. But a little piece inside us has to be pushing for success or we'd have thrown in the towel long ago. This profession, and the battering that ensues from it, would have beaten us long ago if we didn't have that drive to succeed and that little voice inside whispering 'you can do this'.<br /><br />I'm such a coward when it comes to public speaking that I'd never take the change of having nothing prepared. But that may be just me...Jen J. Dannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00817943866838270699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-38969517672639784252011-07-06T06:44:00.111-07:002011-07-06T06:44:00.111-07:00This was my second award ceremony and it was the s...This was my second award ceremony and it was the same as last year. I don't mind, for the most part. <br /><br />Probably because I know if I won, I wouldn't be able to speak coherently. Hell, I wouldn't even make it to the stage to accept the award. I'd trip over my feet, crack my head on the steps, and have to be taken to the hospital where I'll babble to the attending physicians about my awesome award. Next thing you know, I'm never invited to another conference again.Danica Avethttp://danicaavet.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-69444822793123456132011-07-06T06:32:21.319-07:002011-07-06T06:32:21.319-07:00Ha, Sarah. I like your take -- let's all get p...Ha, Sarah. I like your take -- let's all get prestigious awards and see what what happens.Laura Maylenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18058744860709615256noreply@blogger.com