tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4225551644653057342024-03-12T15:03:44.922-07:00Don't pet me, I'm writingOne author's quest for focus, success, and a great bottle of ChiantiTAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.comBlogger705125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-21524252158379935522017-04-04T15:34:00.000-07:002017-04-04T15:34:12.718-07:00It's release day for This Time Around!Want to know a dirty little secret?<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLJjF8SgXZpJvMpRcXkodoB9w0fpL8MORJ7Zs7-fUQH8ax50POmC7MEHbF0PsAVdjzuJ400TT1pMnIGfgygHC8Oac6aVdTpJDDWAWc-7mmoPCO-9rJ8y0yEwlPhFAq7LxTEaXHEwoXKCe/s1600/Craig+Violet+books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTLJjF8SgXZpJvMpRcXkodoB9w0fpL8MORJ7Zs7-fUQH8ax50POmC7MEHbF0PsAVdjzuJ400TT1pMnIGfgygHC8Oac6aVdTpJDDWAWc-7mmoPCO-9rJ8y0yEwlPhFAq7LxTEaXHEwoXKCe/s320/Craig+Violet+books.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seven years ago, I never imagined marrying a single dad or<br />
writing a rom-com inspired by that unique dynamic. Funny<br />
how things turn out!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If you go back and read through posts I wrote seven years ago when this blog was brand new and my life was much, <i>much </i>different, I'm betting you'd catch me in a lie.<br />
<br />
It wasn't a lie, exactly. Just a steadfast belief that I would never, <i>ever </i>want to write a rom-com with kids in it. For that matter, I'd never, <i>ever </i>have kids in my own life. Period.<br />
<br />
Funny, how things change.<br />
<br />
That's actually the idea behind my new romantic comedy, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/2nUPwDv" target="_blank">This Time Around</a></i>. That notion of looking at the life you expected as a younger, more naive version of yourself, and setting that pretty picture next to the framed photo of how things actually turned out, and then asking yourself, "what in the ever lovin' hell was I thinking?"<br />
<br />
Okay, here's another declaration I might live to regret someday: I can't imagine ever writing romance with a nubile young 21-year-old heroine and her equally-inexperienced, fresh-faced love interest hero. Those kinds of stories don't appeal to me. I love characters who've lived a little. Who've set off running in one direction, tripped over their own ambitions, and wound up falling ass-over-teakettle into something they never saw coming.<br />
<br />
That's how it is for Jack and Allie, the thirty-six-year old stars of <i><a href="http://amzn.to/2nUPwDv" target="_blank">This Time Around</a></i>. They were high school sweethearts whose relationship imploded a couple years into college when it became clear they wanted different things out of life. But when they meet up again sixteen years later, it's clear they both ended up in much different places than either expected.<br />
<br />
Is it okay to admit I kinda love it when people have to eat their words? Even when they're my own words and I'm the one doing the snacking. Words are delicious, by the way.<br />
<br />
Oh, and there are cats! Lots and lots of polydactyl cats in this book. Not sure what a polydactyl cat is? I can help you with that!<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/zshJo849omE" width="392"></iframe>
<br />
So that's a little bit of what to expect in my new romantic comedy, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/2nUPwDv" target="_blank">This Time Around</a></i>. Want to buy it? You can do that <a href="http://amzn.to/2oFQAuZ" target="_blank">right here</a> for only $3.99.<br />
<br />
And while you're at it, please comment below to let me know one thing <i>you</i> once predicted for yourself that now makes you laugh a bit with the power of 20/20 hindsight.<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-90511180872538573332017-01-30T05:00:00.000-08:002017-01-30T05:00:20.781-08:00WARNING: You maybe shouldn't read my new book<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4W6zOT7V52u-4r4752FHHnNuimQQD2UjIeylqYg2RYlGxy-EKVAtN1ayId7cONa4SbioCyg-6qBpbhEnMAV9-4wIFaHbiwHx4SAYQVakrZp1bF1H5pz1uucwlAfx2rZiyM4hBnRGUtqBP/s1600/tattoo3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4W6zOT7V52u-4r4752FHHnNuimQQD2UjIeylqYg2RYlGxy-EKVAtN1ayId7cONa4SbioCyg-6qBpbhEnMAV9-4wIFaHbiwHx4SAYQVakrZp1bF1H5pz1uucwlAfx2rZiyM4hBnRGUtqBP/s320/tattoo3.jpg" width="189" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My parents' initials, permanently inked.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"So you know how you guys have read every book I've ever published and I'm so, sooo grateful for that? Like so grateful I even have a tattoo commemorating the role you've played in supporting my writing career?"<br />
<br />
This is how I began a conversation with my parents a few weeks ago. For the record, I really do have that tattoo.<br />
<br />
I also have a new book coming releasing today that's . . . um . . . a little on the risqué side. Like, more risqué than normal. That's saying something.<br />
<br />
My mother paused before answering. "Are you suggesting we not read your next book?"<br />
<br />
"Uh, well . . . it's just . . . maybe I should tell you ahead of time which pages to skim?"<br />
<br />
On second thought, that's an awful lot of pages. See, my new book, <i><a href="https://entangledpublishing.com/index.php/the-list.html" target="_blank">The List,</a></i> is being billed as "erotic romantic comedy," which I didn't even know was a thing. Or maybe it's not a thing. Maybe we just made that up.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs8Z4zT8vj9cezdhDwMIdPrc4hJff-SAb9RajjDqxCphZ-zOheXiB7S3iA17uSmBdhH4h4P0QV2tu4mqFiZuCheWgYqNhU5GUYzOalAwrapgj2FenavlXV7yKF5TGNqhjQIOjLgduwmGeQ/s1600/TheList500+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs8Z4zT8vj9cezdhDwMIdPrc4hJff-SAb9RajjDqxCphZ-zOheXiB7S3iA17uSmBdhH4h4P0QV2tu4mqFiZuCheWgYqNhU5GUYzOalAwrapgj2FenavlXV7yKF5TGNqhjQIOjLgduwmGeQ/s320/TheList500+%25281%2529.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
But in any case, it's kinda steamy. Like <i>really </i>steamy. So steamy I asked my agent at one point if I should consider publishing it under a pen name so readers who loved my complex, heartwarming books like <i><a href="http://amzn.to/2kIXOM4" target="_blank">About That Fling </a></i>and <i><a href="http://amzn.to/2khB8G3" target="_blank">Now That It's You</a> </i>wouldn't sit down next to a co-worker in the break room at work with <i><a href="https://entangledpublishing.com/index.php/the-list.html" target="_blank">The List</a></i> open on their Kindles, and find themselves blushing furiously over their egg salad sandwiches.<br />
<br />
"You don't need a pen name," my agent assured me. "I'm sure the cover will clue people in about what kind of book this is."<br />
<br />
So yeah, there's the cover. If the image itself weren't an indicator, there's the cover blurb from <i>New York Times</i> bestselling author Lauren Blakely, which says, "Tawna Fenske's hottest book ever! <i><a href="https://entangledpublishing.com/index.php/the-list.html" target="_blank">The List</a> </i>sizzles, and it's freaking hilarious, too!"<br />
<br />
All that to say, this book is kinda dirty. If you want to preserve your wholesome, untarnished mind, you should maybe not buy it.<br />
<br />
Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-72934468881748800302016-09-07T18:21:00.000-07:002016-09-07T18:21:03.451-07:00In case you've wondered what it's like to be an author with a new book release<div class="MsoNormal">
I occasionally lament how exhausting book release weeks can
be, and it’s true there’s a lot of busywork like writing guest blog posts and
doing giveaways.</div>
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But sometimes I find myself in the days following <a href="http://amzn.to/2cipKau" target="_blank">a new book release</a> going, “Why in the ever-loving hell am I so drained? I’m not doing THAT
much, am I?”</div>
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So I decided to tally up some of the things I allow to
consume me in the days surrounding the release of a new book (in part so you
guys can tell me to knock it the @#$% off):</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzOHT7JmQxh_S_vpbz-35wpU8gYWrBty0K39Q-1tczg7doGFXwDFcZIAPRmOtW1LHKLGJCLOkZlc3_r1DxvWpP8IjK-Wj7XLxYdHugGlKmduPVuObdrlB2hDwgMK_pZKwq3Sx92hu8qa5/s1600/Fenske-NowThatItsYou-216300-CV-FT-v8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPzOHT7JmQxh_S_vpbz-35wpU8gYWrBty0K39Q-1tczg7doGFXwDFcZIAPRmOtW1LHKLGJCLOkZlc3_r1DxvWpP8IjK-Wj7XLxYdHugGlKmduPVuObdrlB2hDwgMK_pZKwq3Sx92hu8qa5/s320/Fenske-NowThatItsYou-216300-CV-FT-v8.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention I have <a href="http://amzn.to/2cipKau" target="_blank">a new book for sale</a>?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<ul>
<li>Wake up at 3 a.m. on release day
and immediately check to see if any reviews have gone live.</li>
<li>Read first positive review. Swoon.</li>
<li>Read first negative review.
Swallow hard. Try not to cry.</li>
<li>Repeat process every 30 minutes
throughout the day.</li>
<li>Check Amazon ranking every 20
minutes, even though it’s updated hourly. If rank has moved in a positive
direction, rejoice. If rank has moved in a negative direction, feel certain my
writing career is over and I’ll never sell another book.</li>
<li>Read more reviews. Listen to my
mother, husband, and agent tell me to stop reading them. Covertly sneak looks
at more reviews the way some people might sneak glimpses of online porn.</li>
<li>Send frantic emails to editors, agent,
publicity team, and critique partners about whether there’s anything I/we can
do to generate more sales or reviews.</li>
<li>Instantly regret 90% of aforementioned
emails for making me sound desperate/needy/neurotic.</li>
<li>Realize I’m posting too much on
Facebook and Twitter about my new release. Post something about dropping food
down my shirt, blurting unintentional sexual innuendo at a colleague, running
into a door, or dipping the hem of my dress in a toilet. Feel fortunate that
one of these things happens to me every single day.</li>
<li>Tell myself not to read reviews.</li>
<li>Read reviews anyway.</li>
<li>Give myself a profanity-laden pep
talk before pouring every ounce of energy into day job project, new book
writing, or family time. Succeed for a little while.</li>
<li>Check Amazon ranking again. Panic.</li>
<li>Repeat process every day for a
week.</li>
<li>Wonder why I collapse into an
exhausted, jittery, emotionally-drained heap by the end of the week.</li>
<li>Repeat entire process again when
the next book comes out in a few months.</li>
</ul>
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I should probably start saving funds for my inevitable stay in an asylum. In that case, perhaps you'd be willing <a href="http://amzn.to/2cipKau" target="_blank">to purchase (and review!) my new book</a>?! </div>
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I hear mental health services are expensive.</div>
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TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-67043192685023018182016-09-06T03:00:00.000-07:002016-09-06T03:00:10.505-07:00Hey there! Remember me?So I've become <i>that </i>author.<br />
<br />
The one who blogs only when she has <a href="http://amzn.to/2bSxIHS" target="_blank">a new book release</a> or <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2016/06/how-i-became-usa-today-bestselling.html" target="_blank">something big</a> to announce.<br />
<br />
Six years ago, I blogged daily about everything from <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2010/08/things-in-my-garage-that-sound-dirty.html" target="_blank">garage porn</a> to <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2010/06/monkey-business-of-social-media.html" target="_blank">peeling bananas with my toes.</a> I had a surprisingly devoted group of readers for someone whose first book was still a year away, and I took time to reply to every single comment.<br />
<br />
Times have changed.<br />
<br />
Well, I still post daily with dick jokes and details of my own social awkwardness, but I do it <a href="https://www.facebook.com/TawnaFenskeBooks" target="_blank">on Facebook </a>now. While I used to tweet dozens of times a day, I'm lucky if I hit <a href="https://twitter.com/tawnafenske" target="_blank">Twitter </a>a couple times a week now. Prize giveaways and book announcements happen mostly in my newsletter (you can subscribe <a href="http://tawnafenske.com/subscribe" target="_blank">here</a>), which didn't exist six years ago.<br />
<br />
Some of this is a matter of changes in social media. The marketing geek in me knows blogs aren't as popular as they were six years ago, and I'm hardly the only author who flocked Facebook as a better way to reach readers.<br />
<br />
Some of it's just life. Six years ago, I was in a different marriage with no kids and an expectation that life would continue pretty much the same way. Today I'm happily remarried with two awesome stepkids whose presence in my world is a daily source of amazement. If you'd told me in 2010 that this would be my life now, I would have assumed you were under the influence of a strong hallucinogenic drug.<br />
<br />
Six years ago, I was a weird career limbo between a December 2009 layoff and my October 2010 hire as the part-time PR manager for my local tourism bureau. I was essentially a stay-at-home writer, which was weird for someone who wouldn't see her first book on shelves for another year.<br />
<br />
I still have that day job, even though I've reached a point where I could live on the author thing if I wanted to. I don't want to. My long road to reach this place (coupled with the fact that I really, really like my day job) keeps me trucking along, plus regular human interaction keeps me from getting weird.<br />
<br />
Weird<i>er</i>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIic5ZGCML5ux1yQM7d7VRsarUEIl0NtuoNQ6TgBbMnSc1VGAOF0bPU9AkAZuBH-tyc2TkvKyF3BpwQ6RQs_tXicFotcgKj9oo7mLxsjElIemxP8vF4gz9J35HFRsw6LenwklIB5nPaScD/s1600/Fenske-NowThatItsYou-216300-CV-FT-v8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIic5ZGCML5ux1yQM7d7VRsarUEIl0NtuoNQ6TgBbMnSc1VGAOF0bPU9AkAZuBH-tyc2TkvKyF3BpwQ6RQs_tXicFotcgKj9oo7mLxsjElIemxP8vF4gz9J35HFRsw6LenwklIB5nPaScD/s320/Fenske-NowThatItsYou-216300-CV-FT-v8.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
In any case, it's true my time is more stretched these days. Between kids, a newish marriage, a day job, and a writing career that's seen me crank out 14 books in 5 years, I've dropped a few balls. That's unfortunate, given my fondness for balls.<br />
<br />
So this is me, popping in for the first time in three months to say, <i>Hey there! Thanks for reading. Sorry I'm not around much, but I hope we're connecting through at least one of those other channels I mentioned. Oh, and did I tell you I have a new book out? </i><a href="https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/tawna-fenske/now-that-its-you/" style="font-style: italic;"> <span style="background: white; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Kirkus Reviews</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-style: italic;"><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><i>kinda liked it, calling </i>Now That It's You<i>, "A funny, poignant reminder
that the baggage our exes leave can’t stop love from moving us forward.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="background-color: white;">You can find the audiobook, eBook, and paperback versions <a href="http://amzn.to/2bSDCsy" target="_blank">right here</a>.</span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Normal1">
<span style="background-color: white;">Either way, thanks for reading. This blog, my books, my Facebook posts, my drugstore receipts . . . whatever rolls your socks up.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Until next time, friends.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-32950364718495025842016-06-06T05:43:00.000-07:002016-06-06T11:59:54.793-07:00How I became a USA Today bestselling authorJust over a week ago, one of my biggest dreams came true.<br />
<br />
No, it's not the one where I'm flying naked over George Clooney's house and he uses his penis as a lasso to drag me out of the sky and onto his front lawn where he serves me red wine and potato chips and challenges me to a game of badminton. I'm still waiting on that one.<br />
<br />
The actual dream I achieved was this one:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju6gWx2TFzj4oy24KcOwXcorrHNLwhH8Tb2GnhipxcE4kF91ydqzbdAj3ptGnPtpiDBwkbgGCql0F-jxqctoVWZmvIuxV7lcXroFFpyrjRHr7SzHbssmt2JltJTrSwUeQ1SOzDrB-CZul0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-06-05+at+9.48.37+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju6gWx2TFzj4oy24KcOwXcorrHNLwhH8Tb2GnhipxcE4kF91ydqzbdAj3ptGnPtpiDBwkbgGCql0F-jxqctoVWZmvIuxV7lcXroFFpyrjRHr7SzHbssmt2JltJTrSwUeQ1SOzDrB-CZul0/s400/Screen+Shot+2016-06-05+at+9.48.37+PM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
That's me hitting the <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/books/2013/06/21/the-fix-up/2444877/isbn/9781633754751/" target="_blank"><i>USA Today</i> bestseller list</a> for the first time.<br />
<br />
I wish I could tell you some cool story about how I found out about it when I was in the middle of dictating notes to my personal assistant as I sipped Perrier and typed a scene in my next bestseller while my live-in masseuse worked knots out of my trapezius.<br />
<br />
What I was <i>actually</i> doing was standing barefoot in my office at the day job writing an email to my agent about how I was pretty sure I<i> hadn't</i> made the list despite all our best efforts, and even though we wouldn't know for at least four or five hours, I was totally okay with not making it (which was a total lie, but I wanted to sound brave and professional).<br />
<br />
That's when I got a Facebook PM from my agency sistah <a href="http://laurenblakely.com/" target="_blank">Lauren Blakely</a> (who clearly has a better sense of time than I do) with the words "YOU FUCKING DID IT!!!!" in all caps and a link to my listing on the <i>USA Today </i>bestseller list.<br />
<br />
I promptly burst into happy tears and stumbled barefoot into the lobby of the Visitor Center where the front desk staff was explaining to a German couple how to find a nearby vegan restaurant.<br />
<br />
"I just made the USA Today bestseller list!" I sobbed, or at least that's what I tried to say. What actually came out sounded more like, "Mwyffuh aaba sussay bwusella ish," which made the Germans frown with concern and the visitor information specialist say, "It's okay, she's a writer."<br />
<br />
Which probably explains a lot.<br />
<br />
I eventually stopped bawling and informed my agent and my husband and my parents and the UPS man and pretty much everyone elseI encountered for the next few hours, "OHMYGOD, I'm a <i>USA Today</i> bestselling author!"<br />
<br />
It probably would have been cooler if I'd put my shoes back on and didn't have mascara rings making me look like a slightly drunk raccoon.<br />
<br />
The rest of the day was great. Entangled Publishing sent me flowers. Lauren sent me wine. My longtime critique partner, Cynthia Reese, called from Georgia to congratulate me. "So what are you doing to celebrate?" she asked. "Well," I told her, "right now I'm writing a blog post for the day job about hiking trails. Then I'm going grocery shopping and making a buttload of food to serve my book club Thursday night. Then I'll probably clean the cat box." There was a long pause before she asked, "Can you at least wear a feather boa while you do it?"<br />
<br />
I didn't get a feather boa, but I did get a sushi dinner with my husband. He posted a picture of it on Facebook, which looks all dreamy and romantic unless you know I'm wearing dirty pajama pants and sitting on our living room floor in front of the coffee table because that's an easy way for me to shove food directly into my piehole without pretending I know how to use chopsticks.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9zxs4Y9WTX-Yi0cSLheEAyCFFauqOqhFufkYbwpcK3O9clULkDatzsWhI_7rC2-Z6g471Scadcgsgvh54zSQdQdvzp-oY8FElDoDPyEMfGI15MNisonDmbht27Ci81uU2gwYlDNvv4Jb/s1600/Tawna+USA+Today+sushi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9zxs4Y9WTX-Yi0cSLheEAyCFFauqOqhFufkYbwpcK3O9clULkDatzsWhI_7rC2-Z6g471Scadcgsgvh54zSQdQdvzp-oY8FElDoDPyEMfGI15MNisonDmbht27Ci81uU2gwYlDNvv4Jb/s400/Tawna+USA+Today+sushi.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The next day, I returned to the day job just like normal. I came home from work just like normal. I took my dog for a walk just like normal and called my mom the way I always do. "So what is the <i>USA Today</i> bestselling author doing to celebrate right now?" she asked. "At the moment," I told her, "I'm picking up dog doo in a plastic baggie."<br />
<br />
So that's the story of how I became a <i>USA Today</i> bestselling author without actually managing to become cool enough to be a <i>USA Today</i> bestselling author.<br />
<br />
In any case, I'm eternally grateful to everyone who bought <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1UlJcN3" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i> either on purpose or because you mistakenly thought it was a repair manual of some sort. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU from the bottom of my uncool heart.<br />
<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-74593238643236565602016-05-18T11:56:00.001-07:002016-05-18T11:56:21.036-07:00On judging a book by its coverI’m fascinated by the artistic process that goes into creating a cover for one of my books. I’m also fascinated by the thought of driving a bulldozer.<br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure the two things are linked, since art and heavy equipment operation are two skills I lack but desperately wish I had.
Since this is my author blog, I should probably focus on the book covers instead of the bulldozers (though I don’t rule out the possibility of a career change if the writing gig ever goes tits-up).<br />
<br />
I’ve been thinking about book covers a lot lately, since Montlake Romance just unveiled the cover for my September 2016 release, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1TZJMSK" target="_blank">Now That It’s You</a></i>. Here's a look:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11vkQChXfURoT_7YtwBjjT0hWowmYecKdzo2gZfP2QvKyOuFugbHskO-ANAaaraugPjMDeoJBQKkuci6j_Shob1bhjlhCr_9uXvlCoyMXWWmaXP4MhK7XDW7pVsCSA6q72RSwn2e_AJ-Y/s1600/Now+That+Its+You.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11vkQChXfURoT_7YtwBjjT0hWowmYecKdzo2gZfP2QvKyOuFugbHskO-ANAaaraugPjMDeoJBQKkuci6j_Shob1bhjlhCr_9uXvlCoyMXWWmaXP4MhK7XDW7pVsCSA6q72RSwn2e_AJ-Y/s400/Now+That+Its+You.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
It's my third book with this publisher, on the heels of <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1TZk1PC" target="_blank">About That Fling</a></i> and <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1ToOR8x" target="_blank">Let It Breathe</a></i>. If you've read one of those titles and also read <a href="http://tawnafenske.com/books/" target="_blank">any of my other books</a>, you've probably noticed something odd. Well, more odd than scenes about <a href="http://tawnafenske.com/tawna_fenske_book/fiancee-hire-tawna-fenske/" target="_blank">protracted lizard penises </a>and storylines about <a href="http://tawnafenske.com/tawna_fenske_book/frisky-business-tawna-fenske/" target="_blank">ancient stone dildos</a>.<br />
<br />
While all my books fall under the heading of "romantic comedy," the books I write for Montlake tend to be meatier (and not in a pork sword/man meat/baloney pony kinda way). They deal with heavier topics like divorce, alcoholism, infidelity, and death. There's laughter and romance to be sure, but most readers report shedding a tear or two along the way. <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-5039-4426-8" target="_blank">One of my favorite reviews</a> for <i>About That Fling</i> came from <i>Publisher's Weekly</i>, and it included the line, "heartache and humor go hand in hand." Yep. That's pretty much it.<br />
<br />
When Montlake was deciding on a cover for <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1TZJMSK" target="_blank">Now That It’s You</a>, </i>there was a lot of discussion about whether the book should be categorized as "romance" or "women's fiction." It kinda straddles the line between the two, which sounds like a recipe for an uncomfortable wedgie. In the end, they decided it tilts more toward women's fiction (the book club discussion questions in the back kinda solidify that). That's a big part of how I ended up with the cool (but decidedly different) cover you see above.<br />
<br />
But now let's look at the other end of the spectrum.<br />
<br />
The books I write for Engangled Publishing are fun, fluffy, frothy, and filthy. I totally just made that up on the spot, but I like the way it flows, so maybe I'll print it on business cards.<br />
<br />
The covers of my Entangled books reflect a different sort of romantic comedy. You'll see lots of shirtless men and steamy clenches between two toe-curlingly sexy people. Looking at one of them may or may not inspire you to take off articles of clothing and hunt through your nightstand for extra AA batteries.<br />
<br />
When <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1WD5tfH" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i> released in December 2015, this is the cover they gave it:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeTlaMhwfb5qs8tDjp6weStW8Z4eSNvTDlW4vapz0FhI5wcqNB0aXa07px2xQKTrRKo0gOVZ-wsxvOfpQ4ui6UD1ff0ynVV4IelCeqrsqP0vZ_VGrXPNjGfAl0bpqhWcFhEdcwqB-iMRCR/s1600/TheFixUp_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeTlaMhwfb5qs8tDjp6weStW8Z4eSNvTDlW4vapz0FhI5wcqNB0aXa07px2xQKTrRKo0gOVZ-wsxvOfpQ4ui6UD1ff0ynVV4IelCeqrsqP0vZ_VGrXPNjGfAl0bpqhWcFhEdcwqB-iMRCR/s400/TheFixUp_500.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
I thought it was pretty awesome, and I still do. But this week -- five months after the original release date -- Entangled Publishing is doing a huge promotional push to see if we can make that book hit a bestseller list.<br />
<br />
Crap, I wasn't going to put that in writing because maybe now I've jinxed the whole thing. Pretend you didn't read that, okay?<br />
<br />
In any case, they decided the book needed a fresh new cover. Their data shows covers that look more like movie posters are currently selling like hotcakes, and hotcakes are almost as delicious as beefcakes, right? So here's the new cover they came up with:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3z3BQOsLziCCVfVe0jfPQAdD-rdX-mIHTCSAAAcsgDGUMLHb6B1Ld9D1Kmr0xiwelVslQvCxT6JpHkX0CyqB3XbdltQ5od80a3pyvbRqjepaifonnG-yE-yNj_ElLZ6UhLRzlN_qC2ldn/s1600/TheFixUp_updated_1600+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3z3BQOsLziCCVfVe0jfPQAdD-rdX-mIHTCSAAAcsgDGUMLHb6B1Ld9D1Kmr0xiwelVslQvCxT6JpHkX0CyqB3XbdltQ5od80a3pyvbRqjepaifonnG-yE-yNj_ElLZ6UhLRzlN_qC2ldn/s400/TheFixUp_updated_1600+%25281%2529.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And that's pretty groovy, too, isn't it? I honestly can't decide which I like best, so maybe I'll tattoo one on each butt cheek. Which one do you prefer? The covers, not my butt cheeks. Obviously my right butt cheek is superior to my left.<br />
<br />
Anyway, here's where I'm obligated to tell you that <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1WD5tfH" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i> is on sale through May 22 for only 99-cents. This is a great time to grab it, since it's the first book in my First Impressions series. The second book, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1V9EBCh" target="_blank">The Hang Up</a></i>, is coming out June 13. Wanna see the cover for that one?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpEM0IgTCkYXaujrJQ4isez9Qf2O8TZaSoZmcOkephs5TYNSCYuY8D-iH7l9PNSnBKnoMxaoEeXWrMUm9PgkbNMBIgkUcXxOtmsENSVEnR2zb80XUEK4cHPRttkJjT4q0r6Exdc_rTkkCV/s1600/THU_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpEM0IgTCkYXaujrJQ4isez9Qf2O8TZaSoZmcOkephs5TYNSCYuY8D-iH7l9PNSnBKnoMxaoEeXWrMUm9PgkbNMBIgkUcXxOtmsENSVEnR2zb80XUEK4cHPRttkJjT4q0r6Exdc_rTkkCV/s400/THU_500.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Pretty, huh? Also, I really want that dress.<br />
<br />
So what sort of book covers attract you most? Are you a greased-abs-and-heaving-bosoms sorta reader, or do you prefer a more stylized look? Please share in the comments!<br />
<br />
And please buy <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1WD5tfH" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a> </i>while it's on sale. Pretty please with honey and sugar and pork swords on top? Thank you!TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-52786255145900703782016-03-22T02:30:00.000-07:002016-05-09T17:04:26.102-07:00Two reasons today means something special<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning I sat in bed with a chipped gray mug in my
palms as I watched the sun rising pink and orange over a Marlborough vineyard bursting with
wine grapes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the record, there was tea in my mug, not Sauv Blanc.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s March 23 here in New Zealand, but March 22 back home in
the U.S., and there’s something very special about each of those dates.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTvGZXNK90mPk3uGIXFw5ZD7aTqNmqkPS0lNF-iFJIEcttMDiwazUZKGS9zJu6yZbL07ilgEx0vMxcFObyBgWePN8XTTR9GeaorZC6X8DvrZvN2-P0MTzScoTI2k9pHFBWA8Jt6o068VKd/s1600/takingnotesillahe.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTvGZXNK90mPk3uGIXFw5ZD7aTqNmqkPS0lNF-iFJIEcttMDiwazUZKGS9zJu6yZbL07ilgEx0vMxcFObyBgWePN8XTTR9GeaorZC6X8DvrZvN2-P0MTzScoTI2k9pHFBWA8Jt6o068VKd/s320/takingnotesillahe.gif" width="250" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Researching Let It Breathe six years ago.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
March 22 is release day for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/21Ci1RU">Let It Breathe</a></i>, my brand new
romantic comedy. Actually, “brand new” isn’t the right word choice at all. Those of you
who’ve followed this blog since the beginning might remember that. The whole
thing began more than six years ago before I even had a book deal. The book
deal came a few weeks later in February 2010, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let It Breathe</i> was slated to be the third book in the contract. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got to work researching in March 2010, touring vineyards in
Oregon’s lush Willamette Valley during <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.co.nz/2010/03/bung-holes-and-book-research.html" target="_blank"><i>this exact same week</i> </a>six years ago. I figured if I was going to write the story
of a divorced vineyard owner falling in love with her ex-husband’s best friend
when he shows up to build the winery’s new tasting room, I wanted to really
understand my book’s setting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it turned out I got to understand the divorce part, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because while all that research was going on, my marriage of
13 years unraveled like a snagged sweater. It transpired over the course of
nine months or so, which happened to be the same nine months I was writing for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/21Ci1RU">Let It
Breathe</a></i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As you might imagine, the story took a melancholy turn. It
was still romantic comedy, of course, but with a sadness to it. Years later, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Publishers Weekly</i> would write a starred
review of <a href="http://amzn.to/1U3OYaY" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">About That Fling</i> </a>(my
runaway bestseller from last year) and would use the phrase, “heartache and
humor go hand in hand.” It was high praise, probably some of the best I’ve ever
earned, and that’s the same sort of story I wrote with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let It Breathe.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But back in 2011, the timing wasn’t right for that kind of
book. Not yet anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First, I had to get through the hell of divorce. Then I had
to shake off the crumbled debris and take those first, terrifying, exhilarating
steps into new love. Then I had to write <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1U3OYaY" target="_blank">About That Fling</a></i> from the ashes of that process.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I had to go back to <a href="http://amzn.to/1Poh1tB" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let It Breathe</i> </a>with fresh eyes, and discover that what I wrote all
those years ago was actually pretty damn good. My amazing editor at Montlake
saw exactly what I was trying to do with my story of a woman working to take
her family’s vineyard to the next level while struggling with her private fears that her failed first marriage means she’s not cut out for relationships
at all. With my editor’s help, we shaped that story into something I’m
tearfully proud of. Maybe more proud than I was with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">About That Fling</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting here now with my chipped mug of tea in a hotel
bed in the heart of New Zealand’s Marlborough wine country, I’m staggered to
look back on all that. Part of me still reels a bit from the losses—a marriage,
a home, a writing career that didn’t follow the trajectory I expected at the
start.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But most of me just feels deliriously happy about all the
gains. A writing career I enjoy, a new home, a rich life filled with friends
and family and readers I adore with the fierceness of a thousand blazing suns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’m also grateful for the guy whose hip I just bumped
under the covers. At least I think it was his hip.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He’s the other reason this date is significant. Because on
March 23, 2011, we had our first “date.” I put the word in quotes because the
impetus for it was actually me reaching out to him (then a distant
acquaintance) asking for tips on surviving divorce. I might have also been hoping to
take his clothes off. The details are hazy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things bloomed from there into friendship, then attraction,
then love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEg_1ruMrKUhSS_n9MGZOG8uzyrtpqSKw9P1cmRqgZp7_DKH8ljorYoxt2tXOd_7DuEQGW6Tk0muWmDRrAPuFJWitJ1fqRZL8wfQrk30G8P2IeK2TWUHSQqsam9_iDaCEDfaJ0uoqAZuK3/s1600/wine+cyling+marlborough.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEg_1ruMrKUhSS_n9MGZOG8uzyrtpqSKw9P1cmRqgZp7_DKH8ljorYoxt2tXOd_7DuEQGW6Tk0muWmDRrAPuFJWitJ1fqRZL8wfQrk30G8P2IeK2TWUHSQqsam9_iDaCEDfaJ0uoqAZuK3/s1600/wine+cyling+marlborough.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cycling with my sweetie in New Zealand wine country yesterday, <br />
the day before the release of Let It Breathe.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
We got married in September 2014, and this trip to New
Zealand is something we’ve both dreamed about since long before we met each
other. Being here now—the mothership of the Sauvignon Blanc we’ve enjoyed over
so many dinners together—feels like the achievement of a longtime goal. It’s
not where I imagined myself when this whole thing started six years ago, but it’s
so clearly where I’m meant to be that I’m swooning with the certainty.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe I’m swooning over whatever I just bumped under the
covers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In any case, as <a href="http://amzn.to/1Poh1tB" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let It Breathe</i> </a> finds its way into the hands of readers today, I’m hoping it will
touch you in some small way. Maybe it’ll make you laugh, maybe it’ll make you
cry, maybe it'll make you tingly in the swimsuit area. Hopefully it’ll give you a little of all three.<br />
<br />
Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Cheers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-54095093706624631822016-02-15T16:29:00.000-08:002016-02-15T16:29:17.790-08:00A cheapskate tip, a funny backstory, and a chance to be part of a secret club <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWBKQrjJM_Nq4NppHogIiGyuNpYT-2fS9fTIyskG0CoIIurIeMoqvxo_C3JwmFBOQrsg_25-Z_LzfQvi_3N5RKfif-1HiWzFNOl3uEUb_rmR9CccKzw5JwWFlAMk-xnq8yrcqFdMbSo6v/s1600/IMG_4666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKWBKQrjJM_Nq4NppHogIiGyuNpYT-2fS9fTIyskG0CoIIurIeMoqvxo_C3JwmFBOQrsg_25-Z_LzfQvi_3N5RKfif-1HiWzFNOl3uEUb_rmR9CccKzw5JwWFlAMk-xnq8yrcqFdMbSo6v/s320/IMG_4666.JPG" width="288" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If only my brain recharged as quickly as my FitBit.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I got a FitBit a few weeks ago. Since that time, I’ve realized about half the steps I take are the result of me walking from my office to another room to grab something, then forgetting why I did it and having to repeat the whole process again in a few minutes.<br />
<br />
It’s possible I’m a little scattered right now.<br />
<br />
But since I like to share, here’s a bit of what’s yanking my attention around these days.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>Want a top-secret look at one of my unpublished books? </b></h3>
I’ve been asked to revisit one of my beloved early novels, <i>A Tricky Undertaking</i>. Longtime blog readers will remember this manuscript as one that’s not only near and dear to my heart, but to my agent’s heart as well, since it’s <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2010/09/query-that-hooked-my-agent.html" target="_blank">the story that hooked her</a> many moons ago.<br />
<br />
I’m super thrilled to dive back in with some of my favorite characters, and I’d love to have fans to do some focus group reading for me. This is your chance to finally meet Brad and Officer Max and decide for yourself who belongs with my quirky, offbeat funeral home owner, Willie.<br />
<br />
Want to sign up? You can do it at this link: <a href="http://mori.com/earlyaccess/trickyundertaking" target="_blank">mori.com/earlyaccess/trickyundertaking </a><br />
<br />
There are limited spots available, so register right away if you’re interested!<br />
<br />
<h3>
Get me while I’m cheap and easy</h3>
Entangled Publishing is celebrating five years in the biz, during which time I’ve published five romantic comedies and one novella with them.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5x1qeCGki-tnjNE0BaNU6WrutbXNUYuh_DCza9kr3kC-hjZzJSa4BUXviIZ8f92DgtP98vi7sLUia51_FxOcMPGbB_5eZAogDREnYgsiP9Xg0qkKUiES_gO6fBxzTRY0Ld-z8KbodNHax/s1600/TF+4+books+crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5x1qeCGki-tnjNE0BaNU6WrutbXNUYuh_DCza9kr3kC-hjZzJSa4BUXviIZ8f92DgtP98vi7sLUia51_FxOcMPGbB_5eZAogDREnYgsiP9Xg0qkKUiES_gO6fBxzTRY0Ld-z8KbodNHax/s1600/TF+4+books+crop.jpg" /></a></div>
To celebrate, they’ve put the whole freakin’ Lovestruck line on sale for 99-cents a book.
That means you can nab the entire Front and Center series (<i><a href="http://amzn.to/1PAKAvt" target="_blank">Marine for Hire</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/1okSqRi" target="_blank">Fiancée for Hire</a>, <a href="http://amzn.to/1okSn8h" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a>, </i>and <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1Xu5FuL" target="_blank">Protector for Hire</a></i>) plus the first book in my new First Impressions series (<i><a href="http://amzn.to/1PAKoMU" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i>) for less than the cost of five tubes of generic KY Jelly at the Dollar Store.<br />
<br />
The sale ends Feb. 21, so hurry up and do some one-clicking on all your favorite Lovestruck titles.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<b>Funny how things work out </b></h3>
Those of you who’ve read this blog closely for a few years might remember <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2012/01/value-of-taking-one-mouthful-at-time.html" target="_blank">this post</a> from January 2012 where I talked about getting through challenging things by taking it one bite at a time.
One part in particular jumps out at me now:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: purple;">…two weeks ago, I had one of the lowest points in my writing career. I can’t go into details, but suffice it to say, it’s the closest I’ve come to throwing in the towel as an author and becoming a shepherd instead. </span></blockquote>
<br />
Wanna know something funny? The low point I was referring to was my editor telling me that <i>Let it Breathe</i> (which they’d originally acquired as the third romantic comedy in my three-book contract) wasn't the right next book for my career. There was too much melancholy mixed up with the comedy, and books with settings in bars or vineyards weren’t selling well at the time.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_UVJmyWONBnsEluOI_Zfprwp82izUMn1WjzIvykfW3PZ0H6_V1ptKWW2A-fXFWg2UaKqok30tpKMWTkPJLOGLASI08kPkQbg2jDNkjX-HJPdOKCCTRMhQuO33zOupbWBdAqeRhg7FEBC/s1600/Fenske-LetItBreathe-21629-CV-FT-v3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH_UVJmyWONBnsEluOI_Zfprwp82izUMn1WjzIvykfW3PZ0H6_V1ptKWW2A-fXFWg2UaKqok30tpKMWTkPJLOGLASI08kPkQbg2jDNkjX-HJPdOKCCTRMhQuO33zOupbWBdAqeRhg7FEBC/s320/Fenske-LetItBreathe-21629-CV-FT-v3.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
I was devastated. I’d poured my heart and soul into that book, working on it while I went through a pretty gut-wrenching divorce (which might explain some of the melancholy). But I sucked it up and wrote another rom-com, which went on to become <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1okTCUL" target="_blank">Frisky Business</a>.</i><br />
<br />
But here's the funny part: It turns out <i>Let it Breathe</i> was <b>exactly </b>the right book to follow <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1okRAnG" target="_blank">About That Fling</a></i> (my slightly melancholy romantic comedy that spent two months near the top of Amazon's bestseller list last fall), so Montlake Publishing acquired <i>Let it Breathe</i> for publication March 22, 2016. And almost exactly four years from the day I got the heartbreaking news that it wouldn’t be published, I got word that <i>Let it Breathe </i>received <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-5039-4955-3" target="_blank">a starred review from <i>Publishers Weekly</i></a> (the highest praise from one of the most prestigious review sources in the biz).<br />
<br />
While I’ll admit there’s a tiny, petty part of me that wants to thumb my nose at the previous publisher and be all, “See?! I told you it’s an awesome book!” I don’t think that’s the lesson here. The lesson is that it wasn’t the right time for that book four years ago, and now it is. It’s as simple as that.
I couldn’t have known that then, just like I couldn’t have known the pain from the aforementioned divorce would eventually fade, and that I’d find myself in a new marriage that’s turned out to be the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.<br />
<br />
So let that be the lesson. Well, that and never bring expired Reddi-wip into the bedroom.<br />
<br />
Oh and also, you can <a href="http://amzn.to/1PAJXlM" target="_blank">pre-order <i>Let it Breathe</i> </a>now so it’ll show up on your eReader right after midnight March 22.<br />
<br />
So that’s what’s going on in my life lately. What’s new with you? Please share in the comments!<br />
<br />
And don’t forget to sign up to be part of my focus reading group. Slots are limited, and here’s that link again:<br />
<a href="http://mori.com/earlyaccess/trickyundertaking">mori.com/earlyaccess/trickyundertaking</a>TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-21136127621982453462016-01-20T16:54:00.000-08:002016-01-20T17:14:17.632-08:00Why you REALLY don't want publishing advice from meSomething weird happens every January.<br />
<br />
I mean besides the fact that my bathroom scale malfunctions, because <i>clearly</i> I didn't eat that many bacon-wrapped dates for Christmas.<br />
<br />
Each January, I see a flood of emails, tweets, private Facebook messages, and the occasional note scrawled on the bathroom wall asking me for advice on getting published. "I've vowed to write a book this year!" they often begin, or even, "I've just finished my first novel!" And then comes the big ask: "You seem like you're doing well, so can you tell me how to get it published?"<br />
<br />
The simple answer is<i> no.</i><br />
<br />
I'm not saying that to be a bitch. There are plenty of other ways I elect to be a bitch on a daily basis, but I'm generally pretty kind when it comes to encouraging my fellow writers.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwX0ai-M2M3bxvDCNr8MlhBBuT4im9XS7RSm8Tl-zCLFJsDOJyGj9_cp17ewhf-DLXZSDj_KxmDzUaZRSk2_ru6kG9Igq9tnwCdzhak7ZyGm1ERCLmjizkuWoBvJIrnbPSQXA47P8RwkU/s1600/Tawna+lightsaber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCwX0ai-M2M3bxvDCNr8MlhBBuT4im9XS7RSm8Tl-zCLFJsDOJyGj9_cp17ewhf-DLXZSDj_KxmDzUaZRSk2_ru6kG9Igq9tnwCdzhak7ZyGm1ERCLmjizkuWoBvJIrnbPSQXA47P8RwkU/s320/Tawna+lightsaber.jpg" width="283" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I suck at giving publishing advice almost as much as I<br />
suck at making a hairbrush look like a lightsaber instead<br />
of like a dildo. You're welcome for that visual.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But here's the thing: If you see an author who's published a dozen or so books in the last 5-10 years, odds are good that person would give you horrible advice on the process of getting published. In fact, the advice they give might end up discouraging, confusing, or completely misdirecting you. Why? Because the publishing industry has changed at the speed of a roadrunner careening down an Astroglide-coated Slip-and-Slide. The knowledge we operated with at the start of our careers is now so laughably antiquated, we might as well tell you your best path to publication is chiseling your manuscript into a cave wall.<br />
<br />
I made my first attempt at writing fiction in 2002. Back then, most publishers and agents still wanted snail-mailed queries. It could take a year to hear back from them, and if you did, they might ask you to print out the whole manuscript and lug that 987-pound mofo down to the post office. We'd heard of self-publishing, but it was that thing you did if you couldn't get an agent or a "real" book deal. Twitter was the sound the aforementioned roadrunner might make if he fell off the Slip-and-Slide, and Google sounded like something dirty you might do to yourself under the covers (on second thought, it still sounds like that). Aspiring authors longed to see our books on the shelves at Borders, because<i> obviously </i>everyone wants books in paperback and not those ridiculous newfangled eReader thingies.<br />
<br />
You see where I'm going with this? None of that is true anymore, and as far as most of it's concerned, good riddance to bad rubbish.<br />
<br />
But if you look at authors who've been cranking out books for a few years, odds are good that was their starting point. And after they slowly, painstakingly crawled their way out of the slush pile and worked their way toward royalty checks that allow them to buy both the cup of coffee <i>and</i> the donut, they crammed their brains full of new knowledge applicable to a different stage in their careers. Contract negotiations, social media marketing, branding, how to be a hybrid author, how to convince the IRS a sex toy collection is a write-off – these are the things we learn after we've been at it a while and reached some modicum of success. While it's useful knowledge after you have a few published books under your belt, you'll make yourself batshit crazy if you start fretting about those things when you're standing there with that shiny first novel in your hand and stars in your eyes.<br />
<br />
Any advice I could give you on how to get a book published is either woefully outdated or completely useless to you unless you're at a point in your career where your agent can sell your next book based on the letters "TBD" (yes, that really happened, and yes, I'm eternally grateful <a href="http://www.wolfsonliterary.com/" target="_blank">Wolfson Literary</a> pulled off that feat and then didn't bat an eyelash when I said, "I think this will be a romantic comedy about death and grief," though I suspect we both breathed a sigh of relief when my editor approved and the book continued on its publication journey for release September 2016. But that's a story for another time. Also, if I'd attempted something like that ten years ago, I would have been laughed out of the publishing biz quicker than you can say, "gofuckyourself, newbie.")<br />
<br />
So what <i>can</i> I give you? I mean besides a pat on the butt and hearty congratulations on a major milestone. Seriously, completing that first novel is HUGE. Like go-ahead-and-drink-the-whole-bottle-of-Chianti huge.<br />
<br />
Well, I can steer you to the <a href="http://tawnafenske.com/author-stuff/" target="_blank">FAQ page of my website</a>, where you'll find a few links and tidbits of advice that may or may not be helpful. I can tell you that while there are wildly differing views on whether authors do or do not need an agent, I would sooner hack off my own nipples with a rusty spoon than operate without Wolfson Literary in my corner, and if you think you might also need an agent, <a href="http://agentquery.com/">agentquery.com</a> is a good place to start. If the idea of writing a query in the first place is kinda daunting, visit <a href="http://queryshark.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Query Shark</a> and start reading. Don't pause for food or potty breaks until you've been at it for at least eight hours (and preferably eight days).<br />
<br />
Don't get discouraged. It's rough out there, and sometimes searching too hard for the magic secret to publication will suck all the joy out of your writing process.<br />
<br />
Above all, keep writing. Let me repeat that: KEEP WRITING. It's the one thing you can do to guarantee you'll continue to improve your skills as an author and your odds of eventually landing that book deal.<br />
<br />
But don't listen to me. I'm still back here setting up that Slip-and-Slide. Anyone know where I can find a roadrunner?<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-57724254751276333462015-12-14T03:00:00.000-08:002015-12-14T03:00:00.727-08:00Confessions about my new rom-com, The Fix UpIt's release day for my newest romantic comedy, <a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/" target="_blank"><i>The Fix Up</i>,</a> which means it's time to expose a couple things to you guys.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Not <i>those</i> things. It's snowy outside, and my ladybits are very susceptible to cold.<br />
<br />
Nope, I'm going to go ahead and expose myself as one of the laziest authors alive. That's the only way I can explain why I (a woman whose day job of 15+ years has been in marketing and public relations) decided to write a romantic comedy with a heroine who works in marketing and public relations.<br />
<br />
It was a real stretch.<br />
<br />
Not only that, but I have a lifelong fondness for whip-smart, nerdy boys with a great sense of humor and a healthy dose of social awkwardness to match my own.<br />
<br />
Guess who the hero is in my new book, <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i>?<br />
<br />
Technically, I guess we're all calling Ben Langley a "sexy geek," but make no mistake — this man is my favorite kind of nerd. The kind who thinks introducing a woman to the worst sci-fi movie ever made (<i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plan_9_from_Outer_Space" target="_blank">Plan 9 From Outer Space</a>)</i> and then teaching her to thumb wrestle is an effective form of seduction (it is). The kind of nerd who can turn a woman on by talking about the chemical properties of <a href="http://webmineral.com/data/Fukalite.shtml#.Vm3jSd-rSV4" target="_blank">fukalite</a> (is it hot in here?)<br />
<br />
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my newest romantic comedy, which is the first book in a new series called First Impressions. The whole series will be based around a marketing and public relations firm by that name (did I mention the laziness?) and the second book will come out in June and star a character you meet in <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i>.<br />
<br />
You can nab <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a></i> here for only $2.99:<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #888888; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Buy the book from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #d02e67; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1O3GAWE" style="line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;" target="_blank">Amazon</a></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #888888; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Buy the book from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #d02e67; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-fix-up-tawna-fenske/1122627274" style="line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #888888; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Buy the book from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #d02e67; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-fix-up/id1037885355?uo=8&at=11ltS7" style="line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;" target="_blank">iTunes</a></span></li>
<li><span style="color: #888888; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Buy the book from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/the-fix-up" style="line-height: 19.15pt; text-indent: -0.25in;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d02e67; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11.5pt; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Kobo</span></a></li>
</ul>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Oh, and by the way....I've got a pretty huge blog tour going on right now, with tons of opportunities to win cool prizes. For instance, I'll be at Bitten by Books from noon PST until late into the evening on Tuesday, Dec. 15 chatting about </span><i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/" target="_blank">The Fix Up</a> </i>and giving away $50 in Amazon gift cards. Wanna join the fun? RSVP early using <a href="http://bittenbybooks.com/author-tawna-fenske-release-party-and-50-00-amazon-gift-card-contest-1215-rsvp-here/#comment-1741894" target="_blank">this link </a>and you'll get 25 bonus entries in the giveaway.<br />
<br />
Speaking of exposing secrets, did you already see the video I made with author <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Katee-Robert/e/B0070EJJQA/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1450044769&sr=8-2-ent" target="_blank">Katee Robert</a>? If not, you can check it out here:<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
So now that I've confessed my laziness, how about your share yours? Comment about a time YOU were supremely lazy for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card. I'll choose a winner on Friday, Dec. 18. Good luck!<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-8999357766658867162015-11-16T09:16:00.000-08:002015-11-16T09:16:07.619-08:00Are handcuffs and wine a tax write-off?<div class="MsoNormal">
An interesting side-effect of a writing career that finally
takes off after a decade of so-so earnings is that you find yourself needing
professional help.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not talking about a sex therapist (though that does
sound fun). I mean folks like a <a href="http://www.inkslingerpr.com/">publicity
agent</a> and a tax accountant. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The former is a bit ironic, considering I’ve worked in
marketing and PR for 15+ years, but there comes a time when an author realizes
her time is better spent actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">writing
</i>the books, as opposed to telling folks about them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then there’s the tax guy. Last year was the first time since
I started writing fiction in 2002 that I actually showed a small profit on this
author gig, and since 2015 is shaping up to be a bit heftier, I knew we needed
a tax pro who’d worked with authors before.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The one we chose came well-referred by a creative colleague,
and I knew we’d found the right guy when he walked in looking like a spitting
image of Neil Young, and led us to an office that had walls adorned by Tibetan
prayer flags and a Jimi Hendrix banner. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Did I mention he’s right next door to a marijuana
dispensary? (Legal in Oregon, lest you feel the need to phone authorities).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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At any rate, he cautioned us up front that he wouldn’t
support any creative accounting in which we attempted to write off a personal
Lear Jet. That said, he encouraged us to think outside the box in terms of what
constitutes “research” and “inspiration” for my writing career.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought about it a moment. “I’m known for writing a lot of
shower sex scenes,” I told him. “Could we write off our recent remodel project where
we installed a two-headed tile shower?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No,” he said. “But I like how you think.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I thought some more. Not about tax write-offs, necessarily,
but about the odd things that count as “research” when you’re a romantic comedy
author. Sunday morning I did a guided tour of a local cave, an expense I could
easily defend to an auditor because I have proof that a cave scene will appear
in my June 2016 release with Entangled Publishing (tentatively titled <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Hang Up</i>, and though that one’s not
for sale yet, you can pre-order the first book in the series, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/">The Fix Up</a></i>, which
comes out December 14).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Other forms of “research” are a bit harder to categorize. In
August my husband and I went out for a nice dinner to celebrate my 41<sup>st</sup>
birthday, and we spent half the meal eavesdropping on a large family group. At
the center of the discussion were two middle-aged brothers who engaged in such competitive conversation that I expected them to whip out
their meat wands and rest them on the table to be measured. The bizarre dynamic
between them inspired a key piece of the story for my third rom-com with
Montlake that’s scheduled for release September 2016 (also not for sale yet,
but you can pre-order my second book with them, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6XxiB">Let it Breathe,</a></i> which comes
out March 2016).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And speaking of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6XxiB">Let it Breathe</a></i>, that book is set at a
fictional Oregon winery that’s based around a number of real-life wineries I
visited while researching the story. While I probably won’t be permitted to
write off every bottle of wine I’ve ever consumed, I’m guessing I’ll be allowed
to write off at least a few of the expenses I incurred (i.e. drank) while
crafting that story.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then there’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/the-fix-up/">The Fix Up</a></i>. It’s
the first book in a new series called First Impressions, and all the books will
be based around a PR and branding agency. Since my day job career has spanned
15+ years in that industry, it’s not tough to figure out I’ll be drawing from
my own experiences in writing some of the scenes (though if my boss is reading,
I swear the sexy scene in the conference room is just a figment of my
imagination). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does that mean my entire day job career counts as “research?”
When you’re a writer, doesn’t everything that happens around you technically become
fodder for your stories?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the end, I’ll trust <s>Neil Young</s><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the new tax guy to tell us what’s permitted
as a write-off and what’s not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I still think the shower should count, though.<o:p></o:p></div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-41506685900455078922015-11-01T16:31:00.000-08:002015-11-02T06:57:46.348-08:00Does beating yourself up count as BDSM?It occurred to me the other day that I'm approaching the six year anniversary of this blog.<br />
<br />
The impending blog-a-versary gives me a twinge of guilt not unlike an uninvited nipple tweak from a stranger with chilly hands.<br />
<br />
When I started this blog in Febraury 2010, I somehow managed to post every single day. Not only that, but I replied to everyone who took time to comment (sometimes 50-100 commenters per entry), plus I wrote weekly content for several other blogs and still found time to write the books that necessitated the blog in the first place.<br />
<br />
These days I'm lucky to post here twice a month.<br />
<br />
Frankly, I could spend hours beating myself up for things I used to be able to do and can no longer accomplish. Don't get me started on putting my ankles behind my head.<br />
<br />
But then I remember I don't <i>have</i> hours to spend on self-flagellation these days, which is unfortunate since flagellating myself is one of my favorite pastimes. Or maybe I'm confusing flagellation with another verb.<br />
<br />
In any case, a lot has changed in my life since I started this blog. Back then, I had a brand new three-book deal for my first romantic comedies, but the first one wasn't slated to hit shelves for another 18 months. <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1MrNApt" target="_blank">Making Waves </a></i>(the aforementioned debut novel) was already written, as was my second contracted book, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1iwrUR9" target="_blank">Believe it or Not</a></i>, which meant I had a long, leisurely time to write the third book in the contract.<br />
<br />
That's a far cry from today's schedule, which has me contracted to publish five books in the next 12 months with two different publishers. (Incidentally, two of those are up for pre-order already. <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1Q4mkmG" target="_blank">The Fix Up </a></i>comes out December 2015, and <i><a href="http://amzn.to/20lSKh2" target="_blank">Let it Breathe</a></i> comes out March 2016. The other three are...um, not exactly written. Or plotted. Or brainstormed. Or....hell, here we go again with the self-flagellation).<br />
<br />
Besides the changes in my writing and publishing schedule, I've seen a helluva lot of change in my personal life since the start of this blog. Back then, I thought things were hunky dory with my marriage of 13 years, but I had no idea I was on the precipice of a divorce that would consume every ounce of my time, energy, and soul for more than a year.<br />
<br />
Things are much happier these days, and <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2014/10/its-six-weeks-late-but-wanna-come-to-my.html" target="_blank">my remarriage to an amazing guy</a> last September gave me the added bonus of two incredible stepkids. Of course, life with young kids (even on a part-time basis) goes hand-in-hand with family dinners and soccer games and cross country meets and parent/teacher conferences and pumpkin carving and a million other activities which -- while joyful -- are time commitments I didn't have six years ago.<br />
<br />
I don't mean for any of this to sound like a list of excuses for why I'm not blogging every day anymore. On the contrary, it's a reminder to myself of why it's okay to cut myself a little slack every now and then and accept the fact that my life, my career, and my schedule are always evolving. If my existence weren't a constant string of changes, that would be cause for alarm (though admittedly I could do with a bit less change when it comes to gravity's effect on the contents of my bra).<br />
<br />
Are you as prone to self-flagellation as I am? What are your tricks for learning to cut yourself some slack? Please share in the comments!<br />
<br />
Oh, and even though I've slipped to posting here only a couple times a month, I do have some new avenues for staying in touch with readers and friends. Just last week, I launched a new author Facebook page (and yes, I acknowledge the irony of having a day job that's 80% Facebook content creation and strategy, yet it took me five years to start an author Facebook page).<br />
<br />
Anyway, if you <a href="https://www.facebook.com/TawnaFenskeBooks" target="_blank">go here and like me</a>, I promise you'll get the inside scoop on new releases, giveaways, contests, random pet photos, inappropriate jokes, and more.<br />
<br />
Also, I'm getting ready to launch a new author newsletter. That will be chock full of exclusive content like excerpts, behind-the-scenes details from my books, and oodles of giveaways. You can <a href="http://eepurl.com/bDe7in" target="_blank">sign up for that here</a> (and I promise not to spam you. Honest.)<br />
<br />
Now back to the issue of self-flagellation! Do you use your right or your left hand for that?<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-45560070549327657552015-10-05T10:55:00.000-07:002015-10-05T10:55:11.309-07:00On money, sacrifice, and awkward questions from strangersLately I've noticed an interesting phenomenon.<br />
<br />
No, it's not the fact that those trendy, colorful silicone spatulas make great bedroom toys (though that's a phenomenon worth exploring, too).<br />
<br />
It's the frequency with which people want to talk with me about money. Sometimes it's an offhanded comment from a colleague who wants to know whether my recent success with <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1iZWfIp" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i> and the <a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/?s=tawna+fenske&x=0&y=0" target="_blank">Front & Center series</a> means I can afford to quit my part-time day-job in PR. Sometimes it's strangers flat out asking me how much I make as an author.<br />
<br />
I've never been comfortable sharing my writing-related dollar figures with anyone who doesn't either edit me, represent me, or grope me. But the frequency with which I'm getting the money questions makes me wonder if I don't owe it to readers and fellow authors to address the subject and maybe clear up a misconception or two.<br />
<br />
Anyone watching my rankings over the last year could probably guess there's a bit of cash that comes with having books landing (and staying!) in the top 20 on Amazon's bestseller list. It's true, I've seen some sales figures and royalty statements lately that are unlike anything I've had in my previous years as an author.<br />
<br />
But the last part of that phrase is key. <i>My previous years as an author....</i><br />
<br />
Some of you are familiar with <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2010/03/long-answer-to-what-seemed-like-easy.html" target="_blank">my long, drawn-out path to publication</a>, but here's the story in a nutshell: After a decade of writing for my supper as a journalist and marketing geek, I started trying to write fiction in 2002. After a few manuscripts and a lot of rejections, I landed my first book deal in 2005, then lost it a year later when the Harlequin imprint I was writing for was canceled a month before my book's scheduled debut. I wrote another book, got an agent, spent a year racking up rejections and realizing that agent wasn't the right fit. I signed with <a href="http://wolfsonliterary.com/" target="_blank">Wolfson Literary Agency</a> in January 2008 and spent the next couple years writing more books and racking up a whole helluva lot more rejections.<br />
<br />
During this period, I made a conscious choice to downgrade my day-job career so I could devote more time to writing. I took a massive pay cut, but the trade-off was that I had more time for writing. It was a big gamble, and I felt the sting of it over the next two years when my agent and I didn't see a dime from any of my writing.<br />
<br />
Then came my three-book romantic comedy deal with Sourcebooks in February 2010. Hooray! I've finally made it. Right?<br />
<br />
Well, not really. While it's true I got an advance, it was a tiny fraction of the money I'd given up when I made that choice to scale back my day-job. The first book didn't come out until August 2011, and while <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1Q1pntL" target="_blank">Making Waves</a></i> was well-received and well-distributed, it was hardly a runaway bestseller. There's also the fact that royalties move at the speed of two sloths humping in maple syrup, so the writing income was neither predictable nor very noteworthy.<br />
<br />
It was during this same period that I went through a rather unexpected divorce. Getting divorced isn't a whole lot of fun under the best of circumstances, but doing it at the bottom of a recession is about as fun as chewing off your own genitals. I lost my house, my savings, and a fair amount of my limited sanity. Since my writing career wasn't raking in the big bucks, I knew the smart thing to do would be to accept my day-job boss's offer to bump my part-time job to full-time and trade the writing hours for a more reliable income.<br />
<br />But that's not what I chose. I stayed the course with the author gig, cranking out more books (and yes, racking up more rejections). <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1j9kdSk" target="_blank">Believe it or Not </a></i>came out in March 2012 to fairly dismal sales, and then my third contracted book,<i> <a href="http://amzn.to/1Q1BCqh" target="_blank">Let it Breathe</a></i>, was deemed by my publisher as "not the right third book for your career."<br />
<br />
I went back to the drawing board and wrote a whole new book that eventually became<i> <a href="http://amzn.to/1MUn8aW" target="_blank">Frisky Business</a></i> and came out in May 2014. I also followed my (very smart, very underpaid) agent's advice and branched out with other publishers, cranking out the <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1Q1sUbv" target="_blank">Getting Dumped</a></i> series and signing on with Entangled Publishing for a short novella and a handful of military-themed romantic comedies that would eventually become the <a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/?s=tawna+fenske&x=0&y=0" target="_blank">Front & Center series</a> (<a href="http://amzn.to/1MUnoXx" target="_blank"><i>Marine for Hire</i></a> in February 2014, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1MUnvT5" target="_blank">Fiancée for Hire</a> </i>in July 2014,<i> <a href="http://amzn.to/1Q1ub2l" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire </a></i>in December 2014, and <a href="http://amzn.to/1j9leK2" target="_blank"><i>Protector for Hire</i> </a>in June 2015).<br />
<br />
Somewhere in the middle of all that, the money began to trickle in. We're not talking "quit the day-job" territory, but 2014 was the first year the writing gig wasn't claimed as a loss on my taxes.<br />
<br />
Let me repeat that: I began writing fiction in 2002, and after 12 years of rejections and sacrifices and book deals and good reviews and bad reviews and ups and downs, I finally, <i>finally</i> showed a profit on my writing in 2014.<br />
<br />
I thought a lot about that last week when my agent forwarded me my first royalty statement for <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1iZWfIp" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i>, which spent most of the month of August among Amazon's top 10 bestsellers. I was working at my standup desk at the day-job when I got it, and I had to sit down for a minute and just stare at the numbers. We're not talking "buy a personal Learjet" amounts, but it was the biggest check I'd seen in more than a decade of trying to make it as an author.<br />
<br />
As I stared at that statement, elation gave way to something that resembled . . . guilt?<br />
<br />
I can name a dozen author pals who've worked every bit as hard as I have and still haven't reaped the rewards. My head was swimming with thoughts of which bills to pay off or how much to sock into retirement and whether my new husband and I might get to take a vacation to celebrate our one-year anniversary. But part of me felt like the whole thing wasn't quite real. Like someone might walk in and grab the check out of my hand. "Sorry," the check-snatching stranger will say. "That's not really yours. Keep trying, though, and you'll make it eventually."<br />
<br />
My husband and I keep a list of splurges we call "the blue sky list." They're the things we'd consider blowing money on if we suddenly won the lottery or robbed a bank. I looked at that list this past weekend and thought about whether one or two of the items on it might be within reach.<br />
<br />
Then I thought about 13 years of making day-job career choices that meant swapping bigger paychecks and retirement security for the possibility this author thing might someday pay off. If you added up all those sacrifices and put a monetary value on them, the amount would tower over the figures on that royalty statement and laugh and laugh and laugh like the royalty statement has junk the size of a shriveled Vienna sausage.<br />
<br />
If I could hit the rewind button and go back 13 years, would I make all the same choices? Probably not all of them – that crotchless teddy was ill-advised. But for the most part, I feel like I made the best career decisions I could make at the time.<br />
<br />
But if I did have that rewind button and I took my 41-year-old-self back to visit my 28-year-old self, what would we say to each other? If my 28-year-old-self knew about the struggles that lay ahead – both financial and personal – would she have forged ahead anyway?<br />
<br />
I like to think so, but I'm honestly not sure.<br />
<br />
One thing I can say is that I love my life and my writing career, and yes, even my day-job (I still have it, I still love it. Royalty checks are fickle beasts, and having steady monthly income is important).<br />
<br />
But I'm happy with how things have turned out, even if the path to get here wasn't what I might have expected 13 years ago.<br />
<br />
Maybe that's the definition of success?<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-54947259281457965422015-09-21T07:40:00.000-07:002015-09-21T07:40:34.766-07:00On cat barf and celebrating the small thingsI woke this morning to the startling discovery that one of the cats barfed on the bedroom floor.<br />
<br />
OK, that wasn't the startling discovery. We have five cats, so barf is an everyday treat.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDedKeuugRDHRea3EWRu97tBuByj7TlVPoETvFEa_rIaA-cJBPMdOaoIOEYuYZjJYBHRh0brmjsfVdd9xHDrYKu7ZCTuuRJ9g8lQUvLgATpbeA5CHVWWA-tcz9DcBORMZ-0MfXN6ccmnhn/s1600/MFH_LR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDedKeuugRDHRea3EWRu97tBuByj7TlVPoETvFEa_rIaA-cJBPMdOaoIOEYuYZjJYBHRh0brmjsfVdd9xHDrYKu7ZCTuuRJ9g8lQUvLgATpbeA5CHVWWA-tcz9DcBORMZ-0MfXN6ccmnhn/s320/MFH_LR.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This bad boy is on sale <a href="http://amzn.to/1LIjEVR" target="_blank">here</a> for 99-cents!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
No, the startling discovery was that <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1YuSSd6" target="_blank">Marine for Hire</a></i> was sitting at #15 on Amazon's "Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store" list. Considering this book has been out since February 2014, and considering its previous best rank was around #132, this was big news.<br />
<br />
I shared the news with my husband as I climbed groggily into the shower with him. "Congratulations," he said. "How are you going to celebrate?"<br />
<br />
"Well," I said. "Since it's 5:30 in the morning, I'm going to start with a vigorous session of Pilates with my personal trainer, followed by a flight to New York to have brunch with my agent."<br />
<br />
"Uh, what?"<br />
<br />
"That's code for 'clean up the cat barf' and 'fold laundry.'"<br />
<br />
He politely refrained from pointing out my code sucks, though he did point out something I hadn't realized: With <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1LIhkhI" target="_blank">About that Fling </a></i>still hovering in the low 30s on the same Amazon bestseller list, that means I currently have two books in Amazon's top 40.<br />
<br />
Quite an accomplishment for an author who spent the last four years seeing mostly mediocre sales, and the previous six or seven years before that hearing editor after editor say, "sorry, but romantic comedy just doesn't sell well."<br />
<br />
I'd like to pretend my day's plans got more exotic from there, but the fact of the matter is that I'm up at 5:30 because I urgently need to write 6,000 words today for a book that comes out next fall. And my fervent hope with those 6,000 words is that at the end of the day, 1,000 of them might be salvageable.<br />
<br />
That's kinda how it goes with this author gig. To the best of my knowledge, there's no magical moment where you stop writing drivel on a regular basis. You just get better at distinguishing the drivel from the good stuff.<br />
<br />
And as far as I know, there will be no point where I stop having to plant my butt in the chair, sit down at the keyboard, and write until my fingertips are sore even when I'm tired or cranky or so uninspired that it feels like I'm wearing a fur coat while slogging through a vat of honey.<br />
<br />
God knows I'm not complaining – I love this job, and I feel damn lucky that I get to do it. But I do think authors (along with a whole host of other people in different careers) need to do a better job of celebrating the mundane, day-to-day accomplishments. You got up this morning and put on pants? Good for you! Have a burrito! You got through your email inbox by noon or wrote 500 words or organized your sex toy collection in alphabetical order? You're a rock star! Pat your fine self on the back and feel good about it.<br />
<br />
Now if you'll excuse me, that cat barf isn't going to clean itself. Well, not unless I let the dog have a crack at it. Hey, there's an idea . . .TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-39465607693955492952015-08-31T08:44:00.001-07:002015-08-31T10:32:50.196-07:00How do you write humor? (And other questions I suck at answering)When you're an author of risque romantic comedy, people like to ask you the secret to writing humor. I actually kinda wish they'd ask more about the "risque romantic" part of the equation, because I could totally nail a question on how to get your rocks off.<br />
<br />
(Incidentally, did you guys see the video my husband and I did when we launched <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1JwKPVB" target="_blank">Protector for Hire</a></i>? In case you didn't, here's how to get frisky in the forest):<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yWqt817ZcXI?rel=0&controls=0&showinfo=0" width="400"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
But back to the original question about writing humor. I fumble a bit when I'm asked how to do it because it's not something I feel qualified to instruct someone in executing. While I'm comfortable teaching workshops on social media strategies for authors or how to remove your bra through your sleeve, I'm not sure I can tell anyone how to be funny.<br />
<br />
What I can tell you is that I once waxed off my own eyebrow by mistake and then tried to draw it back in with eyeliner. I didn't realize until I got to work that I'd used <i>green</i> eyeliner.<br />
<br />
I also went to a fancy luncheon once and spit gristle into my napkin, then forgot I'd done it and dropped the gristle into the designer handbag of the woman seated next to me. I got caught trying to fish it out, which was only slightly less embarrassing than the time I attended a <i>different </i>fancy luncheon and shoved a heaping spoonful of butter in my mouth because I thought it was whipped cream.<br />
<br />
Are you sensing a pattern here?<br />
<br />
Because the fact that I'm a magnet for absurdity is really the only thing I can point to as the secret to writing believable comedy.<br />
<br />
The handy thing is that I can mine from my own life when it comes to writing my novels. There's a scene in my newesest romantic comedy, <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1JwNyy8" target="_blank">About that Fling,</a></i> in which the hero and heroine attempt to have a private conversation in a video booth at an adult arcade. While I'm not saying real life unfolded quite that way for me, there's a reason I knew how things were likely to play out in their situation.<br />
<br />
There's another scene involving a discussion about toilet paper, an incident that came straight from my husband's life (which I suppose you could take as a lesson that it's smart to marry someone who is also a magnet for ridiculousness, but I digress).<br />
<br />
Reviewers for <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1JwNyy8" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i> have also been zeroing in on the more serious undertones in my story. In their <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-5039-4426-8" target="_blank">a starred review</a> of the book, <i>Publishers Weekly</i> noted:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"There’s something wonderfully relaxing about being immersed in a story filled with over-the-top characters in undeniably relatable situations. Heartache and humor go hand in hand in this laugh-out-loud story with an ending that requires a few tissues." </i></blockquote>
<br />
While the humor is undeniably mine, I'll admit the heartache is, too. Those of you who've followed this blog since its inception in February 2010 know how I cycled from happily married to unexpectedly divorced to dating again and eventual remarriage. Pieces of that experience make up the core of this book, and it's not all giggles and gropes. Sometimes, happily-ever-after doesn't happen the way you hoped it would, and there's a lot of funny, heart-wrenching stuff you'll encounter in your journey to get there.<br />
<br />
So I'm not sure that answers the original question about humor, but it does fill up a whole blog post, so there's that.<br />
<br />
If you haven't nabbed <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1JwNyy8" target="_blank">About that Fling</a> </i>yet, you can find eBooks, paperbacks, and even audiobooks <a href="http://amzn.to/1JwNyy8" target="_blank">here</a>. In the four weeks the book has been part of the Kindle First program, I've been elated to see it peak as high as #2 on Amazon's "Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store" list, and anyone neurotically watching the stats (er, just me) would have noticed it's stayed pretty consistently in the top 10 or top 20 with one small dip to #22.<br />
<br />
Considering the best ranking I'd previously had for any of my books was around #130, that's kinda impressive.<br />
<br />
So go out there and <a href="http://amzn.to/1JwNyy8" target="_blank">grab the book</a>. Then shove a spoonful of butter in your mouth and wax off your eyebrow. It'll make you funny, I swear.TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-18290298262913676692015-08-03T12:26:00.000-07:002015-08-03T12:26:25.316-07:00So this happened...For months, I've been dying to tell you guys my secret.<br />
<br />
No, it has nothing to do with what's in the drawer of my nightstand (please...that's no secret).<br />
<br />
My secret had to do with <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1P0Y7LJ" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i>, my romantic comedy slated for publication September 1 with Montlake Romance. The folks at <i>Publishers Weekly</i> got their hands on an early copy a couple months ago, and gave it <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-5039-4426-8" target="_blank">a starred review</a>, writing:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"There’s something wonderfully relaxing about being immersed in a story filled with over-the-top characters in undeniably relatable situations. Heartache and humor go hand in hand in this laugh-out-loud story with an ending that requires a few tissues." </i></blockquote>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1HH7egkH0mH1-2e2InL9kEYOaym-pDbkjWPJqolvbu_qmHgJ5s7nvCAdsyzwnJInp12704oGyKl9m1fnMqcKOaH-vx6PDXSE16gIGMeY8Va6tN08NqfIVPsbodfgvKMloyAUJ8p4LyHu6/s1600/Fenske-AboutThatFling-19885-CV-FT-v4+small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1HH7egkH0mH1-2e2InL9kEYOaym-pDbkjWPJqolvbu_qmHgJ5s7nvCAdsyzwnJInp12704oGyKl9m1fnMqcKOaH-vx6PDXSE16gIGMeY8Va6tN08NqfIVPsbodfgvKMloyAUJ8p4LyHu6/s320/Fenske-AboutThatFling-19885-CV-FT-v4+small.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
But that's not the secret.<br />
<br />
The secret isn't actually a secret now, or at least it hasn't been since Saturday, August 1. That's when the book was released through the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/digital/kindle/first/ref=kf_surl_rw" target="_blank">Kindle First</a> program. What's Kindle First?<br />
<br />
(Hey, it's okay to ask . . . I'll admit I had no idea until my agent started talking to me about it last summer).<br />
<br />
In a nutshell, Amazon chooses 4-6 books per month to be Kindle First picks. One month before these books' scheduled release date, they advertise them as Kindle First selections and readers are allowed to choose one of the Kindle First books to purchase for $1.99. Amazon Prime members can choose one for free. At the end of the one-month promo, the books go up for sale at full price, but by then they've already got gobs of reviews and a 30-day track record of sitting on the Amazon bestseller list.<br />
<br />
I probably don't have to tell you why this program was described to me three months ago as "life-changing for an author."<br />
<br />
Or maybe I do. Here, let me show you a couple things from the last two days.<br />
<br />
This is what I saw when I checked my Amazon ranking within a few hours of the book going live through Kindle First:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBx69LtVtZojyhyy0CDD68S2evu7OvVM34b2VdbV2coCeTsJAZY3jifX-W1t6e9ErwZHLhzgqSz3gKJtuI-58VRGG74K5ekLDAqKhZKUEfUj0SYDzaKyT3hTwEWtQoN04JyteE5fCMRhaP/s1600/Tawna+number+4+and+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="65" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBx69LtVtZojyhyy0CDD68S2evu7OvVM34b2VdbV2coCeTsJAZY3jifX-W1t6e9ErwZHLhzgqSz3gKJtuI-58VRGG74K5ekLDAqKhZKUEfUj0SYDzaKyT3hTwEWtQoN04JyteE5fCMRhaP/s400/Tawna+number+4+and+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For those who don't check my Amazon rank as neurotically as I do (er, everyone) that's the first time in my whole career I've even cracked the "Top 100 paid in Kindle store" list. Two days later, I'm still sitting there in the #4 slot.<br />
<br />
Not only that, but here's what I saw when I pulled up Amazon's list of the top 10 bestselling romance authors:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQUipccA_mSimt2p5LO3n8gSxTVb_XIMvcs9BOm3GvV7pYRcH1HC7rrqhoqdKfNNYGtu8i5i6ZdQVTKmyFMWghlbgTiDikVb-osG_qU5hU5zSVu9hbQ1b4SZP4QD90-D5_e62Mv2PEG8_/s1600/Amazon+author+rank+number+one+in+romance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrQUipccA_mSimt2p5LO3n8gSxTVb_XIMvcs9BOm3GvV7pYRcH1HC7rrqhoqdKfNNYGtu8i5i6ZdQVTKmyFMWghlbgTiDikVb-osG_qU5hU5zSVu9hbQ1b4SZP4QD90-D5_e62Mv2PEG8_/s640/Amazon+author+rank+number+one+in+romance.jpg" width="326" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
You might have to click the image to get a good look at it, but HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS, that's me in the #1 slot on a list that includes romance legends like Nora Roberts and Diana Gabaldon.<br />
<br />
So, yeah. To say I'm over-the-moon about this Kindle First thing would be an understatement akin to suggesting I'm mildly fond of my husband's butt.<br />
<br />
But aside from the reviews and the rankings and the book sales, there's something else at play here. I know I'm not supposed to admit this as an author, but no book I've published to date has as much meaning to me as <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1P0Y7LJ" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i>. For eons I've heard authors talk about "the book of my heart," and I always did a silent eye-roll and wrote it off as sentimental tripe.<br />
<br />
Then I wrote this book.<br />
<br />
Or more accurately, I wrote this book from the ashes of divorce and remarriage and all the heartbreaking, hilarious, heartwarming things that come from that process.<br />
<br />
Those of you who've been following my books for a while will recognize my trademark humor in the pages of <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1P0Y7LJ" target="_blank">About that Fling</a></i>, but you'll see a little something different, too. This book has some meat to it, and I'm not talking about the hero's beef bayonet or the heroine's fondness for riding the baloney pony. While there's sex in this book, it's much more understated than you'll find in my books for<a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/category/tawna-fenske/" target="_blank"> Entangled Publishing</a>. And while there's humor in this book, it's a bit more sophisticated than what you've read in <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1IkBBcb" target="_blank">Making Waves</a></i> or <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1MHOdPI" target="_blank">Believe it or Not</a></i> or <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1KMgfKG" target="_blank">Frisky Business</a></i>.<br />
<br />
Here's what one Amazon reviewer wrote:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>What I love most about Tawna Fenske's writing style is the waggish repartee that infuses the dialogue and descriptions. Though previously never have heard of her publications, I'd now read any genre written by Fenske. I delight in such fun back-and-forth and lopsided grinning word play, comparable to how WEST WING's snappy wit paired with emotional investiture made it a personal TV Series favorite.
The sparkling humor, rolling passion, and risqué innuendo are not mere pinpoints in dross wording, however; the entire novel exhibits a warmness, a fluid narrative characteristic of a seasoned writer who goes beyond the subject matter and crafts her very presentation. Nor are the characters simple simpering fools. They are smart, suave, and, yes, outlandish, yet remaining very human at the core. And prepare for an ending that made even me get a bit of a burning around the edges of my eyes.
Albeit hardly a regular Romance reader, I have certainly become a fan of Fenske, and enormously glad I decided on ABOUT THAT FLING for this month's Kindle First choice.
</i></blockquote>
<br />
So if you haven't already grabbed it, now's a good time to get your hands on <i><a href="http://amzn.to/1P0Y7LJ" target="_blank">About that Fling</a> </i>from Amazon. But if you'd prefer to wait for the paperback or the audiobook, or if you'd just prefer to pay full price in September, you can do that, too.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading, guys! Now for a look in that nightstand drawer...TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-6972376625016828072015-06-30T08:53:00.000-07:002015-06-30T08:53:07.743-07:00But what's in a name?Being new to this whole parenting gig means I spend a lot of time unsure what I'm supposed to be contributing to the education of these two young people who now call me their stepmom (prompting me to look around wondering, "who the hell are they talking about?")<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But one thing I feel confident sharing with them is my love of '80s music. After a road trip in which I introduced sugar-poppy favorites like Cyndi Lauper, Samatha Fox, and Suzy Q, I got the following text from the 9-year-old:</div>
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If that wasn't enough to warm the cockles of my heart, I don't know what cockles are. (Actually, I don't. What the hell are cockles?)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
For those unfamiliar with Samatha Fox's delicious nugget of '80s cheese, it contains the classic line, "Samantha Fox is such a wild dame – huh, but what's in a name?"</div>
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Which leads me to the point of this blog post (and to the inevitable surprise that I actually have a point). Today is release day for <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/protector-for-hire/" target="_blank">Protector for Hire,</a></i> my new romantic comedy from Entangled Publishing. Since this is my blog and I can say pretty much whatever I want here, I'll confess right now that this is my favorite of the four books in the Front and Center series (though if you haven't read any of the others, don't worry – I wrote each one to stand alone).</div>
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Reviews are already going up on Goodreads and Amazon, and I'm thrilled to see readers seem to share my fondness for this story. But one thing we don't necessarily share is a connection to the hero's name – Schwartz. At least half the reviews misspell it, and several more have remarked on how unromantic it is.</div>
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I can't disagree. But is that always a bad thing?</div>
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Technically, it's short for Schwarzkopf Alexander Patton. Those who've followed along in the series know all the kids in the Patton family were named for military generals, and while Sheridan, MacArthur, and Grant got the more normal sounding names, it makes sense the black sheep of the family would have the one that's a bit outside the box.</div>
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I'll freely admit "Schwartz" doesn't roll off the tongue (no pun intended) the way "Romeo" or "Ashton"or "Blake" might. But it does fit the character, a reclusive, curmudgeonly mountain man who's spent the last ten years hiding out in a remote cabin in the wilderness. There's a hint of "Beauty and the Beast" to this story, so having a hero with a slightly beastly name made sense.</div>
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How do you feel about the name Schwartz? Do you prefer your romance novel heroes to have more traditional names? Are we all now remembering the scene from <i>When Harry Met Sally </i>when Billy Crystal questions whether Meg Ryan could truly have great sex with a guy named "Sheldon?" Please share in the comments!</div>
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And please take a moment to click over and buy<i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/protector-for-hire/" target="_blank"> Protector for Hire</a></i>! It's only $2.99 from Entangled Publishing. Also, I'll be over at <a href="http://bittenbybooks.com/author-tawna-fenske-release-party-and-35-00-amazon-gift-card-contest-live-here/" target="_blank">Bitten By Books</a> today from noon PST until late in the evening having a rager of a book release party, complete with prize giveaways and lots of book chat, so join us for that.</div>
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And last but not least, remember, kids: Naughty girls need love, too!</div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-80180986227667151652015-06-08T10:39:00.001-07:002015-06-08T10:39:58.206-07:00On hermit crab ghosts and why I shouldn't be left alone for the weekendOn Saturday morning, my 13-year-old stepson's hermit crab, Hercules, went to the great crabitat in the sky.<div>
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It was a mournful occasion marked with much wailing and moaning and donning of solemn black attire. But once I got out of bed, removed the crotchless teddy, and took a cold shower, there was the matter of burial to attend to.</div>
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Since the kids are with us only part-time and my husband was out of town, the funereal duties fell to me. My day's to-do list included planting our vegetable garden, so I decided to honor the deceased by allowing him to fertilize a tomato plant.</div>
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I dug a hole suitable for both crypt and fledgling tomato and gently shook the lifeless crustacean body from its shell into the grave. The odor suggested Hercules's demise may have been several days before the discovery of the corpse, but I opted not to amend the certificate of death.</div>
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I sang a few hymns, drank a bottle of wine in reverent communion, and planted my budding Oregon Spring tomato atop the sacred burial site. Then I set the empty shell beside the plant to serve as a tombstone until a more suitable one could be hand-carved from a nine-foot slab of Italian marble.</div>
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Once I finished up the garden, I went inside and spent the evening hosting a wake with the surviving hermit crab, five cats, the dog, and a black ghost knifefish the kids dubbed Jack Black. In the morning, I went outside to check the garden and discovered to my absolute amazement that Hercules's shell had moved ten feet to the opposite side of the garden.</div>
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Mystified, I picked up the shell and double-checked to be certain I hadn't mistakenly left a living creature inside. </div>
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I kid. That's what a sane person would do. Or maybe the aforementioned sane person might assume a neighborhood cat or raccoon had moved the shell.</div>
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I, on the other hand, concluded the ghost of Hercules had decided he preferred to spend his eternal dirt nap beneath a daisy instead of a tomato. I took photos and sent them to my husband with an explanation about the ghost, likely prompting him to question the wisdom of his decision to marry me last fall.</div>
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After that, I went about my day like normal, which is to say I spent eight solid hours siting braless and unshowered in front of my laptop writing elaborate blowjob scenes for my next romantic comedy. Around 4:00, I went outside to check the garden again in case six bushels of tomatoes had magically sprouted from the consecrated remains. </div>
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That's when I discovered the shell had moved <i>again</i>.</div>
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So I'm considering giving up romantic comedy in favor of writing crustacean ghost stories. If anyone needs me, I'll be at my laptop with a bottle of wine by my side and one eye on the door that leads to the garden.</div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-74231329276821314742015-05-19T10:41:00.000-07:002015-05-19T10:41:34.717-07:00Cover reveal for Protector for Hire!If I had a nickel for every time I've been asked whether Schwartz will get his own story in the Front and Center series, I'd have....well, a lot of nickels. And then I'd be that awkward person taking all the nickels up to the counter at the wine shop, and everyone in line behind me would get mad and I'd probably get beaten up in the parking lot and I'd still have a black eye when book release day rolls around on June 30.<br />
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Yep, that's right – <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Protector-Entangled-Lovestruck-Front-Center-ebook/dp/B00XU06EPW/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1432057093&sr=8-12&keywords=tawna+fenske" target="_blank">Protector for Hire</a></i> will be released June 30, and it is indeed Schwartz's story. Well, Schwartz and Janelle. She's kind of important, too.<br />
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Those of you who've read the Front and Center series will remember Schwartz as the broody, long-lost black sheep brother of the Patton family. You'll also remember Janelle as the city-slicker younger sister of Anna (Grant's love match in <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i>).<br />
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If you haven't read the Front and Center series, you've got time to get caught up before the fourth and final book comes out (that's <i>Protector for Hire</i>). Each book is only $2.99 and you can find 'em all <a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/?s=tawna+fenske&x=0&y=0" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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In any case, the good folks at Entangled Publishing created this awesome video to reveal the cover of <i>Protector for Hire</i>. Check it out!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/S80stKtQXcw" width="392"></iframe>TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-9138016388397029292015-03-14T09:52:00.000-07:002015-03-14T09:52:03.507-07:00Cover reveal and a huge sale!So this turned out to be a rather exciting week for me.<br />
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No, I didn't figure out how to hook the car battery up to those nipple clamps.<br />
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First off, I got official permission to share the cover for my September 2015 romantic comedy <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/About-That-Fling-Tawna-Fenske-ebook/dp/B00SBZFHYA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">About That Fling</a></i>. Isn't it lovely?<br />
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I have to admit, I was a little unsure how they'd manage to capture the vibe of this contemporary romance that has some darker, deeper edges than my usual rom-com fare. I'm super in love with it!<br />
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The book is available for pre-order<a href="http://www.amazon.com/About-That-Fling-Tawna-Fenske-ebook/dp/B00SBZFHYA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank"> here</a>, and this is more or less what it's about:<br />
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<i>As the top PR person for the Belmont Health System, bright, beautiful Jenna McArthur knows how to spin bad news and make it sound good. But when her adorable Aunt Gertie—a secret romance writer—urges Jenna to embrace her wild side, Jenna tumbles into bed with Adam Thomas, a guy she’s just met, for a fun and fantastic one-night stand. Too bad Adam is the one guy who’s totally off-limits. </i> </blockquote>
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<i>There aren’t enough clever words in the world to spin the story in a way that won’t wreck Jenna’s closest friendship or destroy her job.
With the irresistible Adam always around her at work, wearing an aura of temptation like a fabulous cologne, Jenna has to hold tight to her senses to avoid falling for him. Will he take her to the heights of pleasure again—or will their attraction destroy everything she’s worked for?
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/About-That-Fling-Tawna-Fenske-ebook/dp/B00SBZFHYA/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Here's that pre-order link again</a> if you want to see that on your Kindle first thing in the morning on September 1.<br />
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The second bit of exciting news is that<i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fianc%C3%A9e-Entangled-Lovestruck-Front-Center-ebook/dp/B00LDQXAX4/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank"> Fiancée for Hire</a></i> was chosen to be part of the Kindle Big Deal program. At the risk of sounding redundant, that's kind of a big deal in the author world. What it means is that they price the book at 99-cents for a limited time, and then they market the ever-loving-crap out of it during the sale period.<br />
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When they do it with a series book like <i>Fiancée</i>, it's a killer way to get new readers hooked so they come back and buy the rest of the series at full price.<br />
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Wait, I'm probably not supposed to reveal the sales strategy behind it, huh?<br />
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Well anyway, if you've never read <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fianc%C3%A9e-Entangled-Lovestruck-Front-Center-ebook/dp/B00LDQXAX4/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Fiancée for Hire </a></i>(or if you have read it and want to share it with someone else for only 99-cents) now's the time to nab it. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fianc%C3%A9e-Entangled-Lovestruck-Front-Center-ebook/dp/B00LDQXAX4/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">Here's the link</a>.<br />
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So that's my week in a nutshell. Well, that and the fact that most of my life is in boxes right now because we're moving. What's new with you? Please share!TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-37330764621400088332015-01-20T17:21:00.002-08:002015-01-20T19:34:55.160-08:00But how do you do it all?I got it again yesterday.<br />
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Not "it" in the sense that you're thinking (though I suppose that's true, too – I'm a newlywed, after all).<br />
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No, I'm talking about the question I hear about five times a week from colleagues, fellow-authors, and the homeless guy watching me pick up dog doo during my morning walk:<br />
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<i>How do you do it all?</i><br />
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While the homeless guy might have a different context for his question, most people are asking how I manage to balance having a day job, a personal life, a family, and writing career that's gone a little nutso in the last year (four romantic comedies published in 2014, and four more on the agenda for 2015).<br />
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I know a few of you are hoping I'll offer up the recipe for a secret formula I drink each morning to magically add an extra six hours to each day. Sadly, that's not the case (though the opposite may occur when consuming large quantities of Chianti).<br />
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Magic potions aside, here are a few things I can point to that buy me extra tidbits of time or give me the tools I need to balance this whole crazy mess.<br />
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No boob tube</h3>
I'm not talking about tube tops (though for the record, I can't wear those without looking like a misshapen hot dog). I'm talking about television. I can't actually recall making a conscious decision not to watch it, but about seven or eight years ago, I quit flipping the TV on to catch nightly reruns of <i>Friends </i>or the evening news. I was never a big TV fan anyway, and I never had cable, so this wasn't a huge hardship. Even so, it was eye-opening how much free time I suddenly had.<br />
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Not-so-coincidentally, that's about the time I got serious about writing.<br />
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Do I miss it? Not really. I still get together with girlfriends for an occasional tipsy viewing of <i>The Bachelor,</i> and my husband buys boxed sets of TV series like <i>Dexter</i> and <i>Breaking Bad </i>that we'll chip away at for a year or two by watching an episode on laundry folding night.<br />
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If the idea of giving up the boob tube makes you weep, don't feel bad. Everyone needs little indulgences, and if that's yours, rock on with your TV-watching self. Just look for other time-sucking elements to cut from your life. A pal recently gave up Facebook and said he's astounded by how much extra time he has now that he's not flipping through his phone every five minutes to see who commented on photos of his dinner.<br />
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Multi-task like a boss</h3>
I'm very rarely doing only one thing at a time. When I walk the dog, I'm also catching up with my mom on the phone. When I'm on the phone with my agent, I'm clipping my toenails. When I do the dishes, I'm thinking through plot details for my next book. When I join my husband in the boudoir to build the beast with two backs, I'm thinking through the choreography of a sex scene I'm preparing to write.<br />
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I probably shouldn't have admitted that last one.<br />
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This blog post was written over the course of several lunch breaks at the day job. I brainstormed most of it in the car on my way to Barre class, dictating ideas to Siri on my phone as I drove. Incidentally, this post nearly contained the phrase, "nice turn signal, asshole!"<br />
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Whether you're struggling to build a writing career, or just trying to juggle a sane person's existence, multi-tasking is your friend. Just don't let me hear you peeing when we're on the phone.<br />
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Figure out where to flex</h3>
Despite all my meticulous planning and time-saving strategies, life happens. On Monday, "life" was a puking kitten and a vet visit that took up more than two hours of my precious writing day.<br />
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That's why I always build extra cushions into my writing schedule. I mark my calendar with word count goals for every day I'll be writing. Then I try to keep myself 2,000 words ahead of that so when I'm derailed by vet visits or unexpected meetings or <strike>lunchtime quickies</strike> or computer trouble, I don't have as much ground to make up later.<br />
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Make plans and set goals, then take a step back. Think about where things could go off the rails, and set yourself up so you're not totally screwed if that happens.<br />
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Accept the ways you suck</h3>
There are many ways I suck, several of which are not suitable for sharing on this blog. One of the things I suck most at, however, is keeping track of my eyeglasses. They're a requirement for me to read or write, but I'm constantly losing them. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I lose or break about 20 pairs a year.<br />
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So I have a choice here: I can get pissed off at myself and spend half my day searching for lost glasses and the other half insisting I'm going to change my sucky ways, <i>or</i> I can accept that this is who I am and work around my own faults.<br />
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Then I can go out and buy 15 new pairs of prescription eyeglasses from <a href="http://www.zennioptical.com/" target="_blank">Zenni Optical </a>for $6.95 each and scatter them everywhere in my home. Problem solved, self-flagellation avoided, and hours that would have otherwise been spent searching for eyeglasses are now diverted back into writing.<br />
<br />
Got a bad habit that's eating up your time? Find creative ways to work <i>with</i> or work <i>around </i>your faults instead of expending the energy fighting yourself.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Don't let the big picture freak you out</h3>
When my gentleman friend and I were planning our wedding last summer, we had a whiteboard for all the pressing items on our to do list. As the big day approached, our list grew to the point that our tiny wording required a magnifying glass so we'd know how to spend our weekend.<br />
<br />
I hated that whiteboard. I still do.<br />
<br />
That's why I like having two kinds of to do lists: The one that shows the big picture of everything I need to tackle in the coming weeks or months. Then I have a second one that includes the most immediate, pressing tasks, along with an assortment of minutia I include for the satisfaction of crossing a few things off the list.<br />
<br />
Because nothing's more satisfying than checking off "take a shower" before noon on a writing day.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Play nice with others</h3>
One of the most important lessons I've learned is that I can't do everything alone. Not only<i> can't</i> I do it, but I <i>shouldn't</i>.<br />
<br />
Promoting yourself as an author can be tedious sometimes, but joining forces with another author to <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2015/01/puppet-sex-sloppy-smooches-and-chance.html" target="_blank">make puppet sex videos</a>? Well that's just good, <strike>clean</strike> fun.<br />
<br />
Same goes for picking up tips from people who are smarter than me. On Facebook last week, author <a href="http://www.kateerobert.com/" target="_blank">Katee Robert</a> shared a photo of her <a href="https://www.erincondren.com/life-planners" target="_blank">Erin Condren life planner</a>. When I commented asking about it, Katee and authors <a href="http://www.jessicalemmon.com/" target="_blank">Jessica Lemmon</a> and <a href="http://robincovingtonromance.com/" target="_blank">Robin Covington</a> immediately chimed in with organization tips and even a coupon code. My new life planner is on its way to me now, and I intend to be fabulously organized within the week.<br />
<br />
Or I'll just play with the stickers. Whatever.<br />
<br />
In any case, don't be afraid to solicit tips, buddy up on projects, or find other ways to rely on the collective experience and creativity of your peers. It makes life more fun, and it's nice to shoulder the burden with others.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Give yourself a break</h3>
Next to the "how do you do it all?" question, the second most common inquiry I field is "when are you going to quit your day job?" My usual answer is that they'll have to grab me by the hair and forcibly drag me from the building. It's partly because my day job involves getting paid to snowshoe or go standup paddleboarding or take journalists out to drink beer, but there's another reason, too.<br />
<br />
About four years ago, I had a nine-month period where I did the stay-at-home author thing full-time. It was the least creative nine months of my life. By not getting out to interact with humans and experience life, I turned off the tap that allowed my creative juices to flow.<br />
<br />
This is less about having a day job and more about maintaining some diversity in your day-to-day activities so your brain doesn't shrivel like a testicle in ice water. Take your kids to the park. Have beers with friends. Enjoy a nooner. Go for a hike. <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2011/09/make-time-for-paw-in-your-butt-crack.html" target="_blank">Make time for a paw in your butt crack</a>.<br />
<br />
Above all, don't get so wrapped up in your pursuit of a goal that you forget to fuel your soul and your mind.<br />
<br />
<h3>
How about you?</h3>
So that's my long answer to a short question, but I don't claim to have all the answers. How do YOU manage to do it all? Please share in the comments!TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-38423554071816913992015-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:002015-01-12T08:10:20.907-08:00Puppet sex, sloppy smooches, and a chance to win a signed bookThese days, authors have to get pretty creative when it comes to book promotion. When <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i> came out two weeks ago, I covered my body in peanut butter and ran screaming through my neighborhood wearing a yellow fedora and a set of nipple tassels printed with scenes from the novel.<br />
<br />
But the tassels kept getting stuck in the peanut butter, so people were reading the scenes out of order and learning the major plot twists before they even got to the first blowjob scene, which made several people angry enough to chase me through the streets with two-by-fours.<br />
<br />
I narrowly escaped with my life.<br />
<br />
To simplify things a bit, I decided to try a different form of promotion. I also partnered up with my fellow author <a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/merger-of-the-heart/" target="_blank">Melia Alexander</a>, since we shared the same release day and she's really good in a fist fight.<br />
<br />
With the aid of my super-talented video producer husband, we created a series of four videos that made the rounds on Facebook and Twitter and YouTube over the last couple weeks. In case you missed them (or if you just wanted to check them out again) here's a roundup.<br />
<br />
Oh, and uh....you may not want to watch these with young children or judgmental co-workers in the room.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Video #1: How to get ready for a New Year's Eve kiss</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/RDe92eOhrzc" width="392"></iframe>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Video #2: Why you should leave your mistletoe up all year long</b><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-W2zxMO0TMI" width="392"></iframe>
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Video #3: Puppets perform a sexy scene from my book, <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/zQiEaojVX4Q" width="392"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Video #4: Puppets perform a sexy scene from Melia's book, <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/merger-of-the-heart/" target="_blank">Merger of the Heart</a></i></b><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="221" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/VuPA8CsZNtU" width="392"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
<br />
So there you have it – the promotional alternative to peanut butter and nipple tassels. Which one did you like best? Tell me in the comments and I'll enter you (wow, that sounds filthy) ahem! I'll enter you in a drawing for a signed copy of one of my other romantic comedies (your choice between <i>Making Waves</i>, <i>Believe it or Not</i>, and <i>Frisky Business</i>).<br />
<br />TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-27543890352815490852015-01-05T09:55:00.001-08:002015-01-05T09:55:58.292-08:00Anyone else feeling squishy or vain?"Isn't it time for your annual women's exam?"<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
These were the tender words my husband spoke to me the other morning. The fact that he knows the timing of my yearly visit to the crotch doc is either an indication he pays close attention to my health and well-being, or that he takes a vested interest in my hoo-hah.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Whatever the case, I was hesitant to answer. "Kinda."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Kinda?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Well, yeah. I mean I've made my appointment in January every year for the last couple decades, but I was thinking of changing it up this year and aiming for March. Or April. Or maybe May. June's nice...."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He was eyeing me skeptically at this point, which probably would have been a good time for me to offer up some logical-sounding explanation about a new medical study citing a need to coincide one's yearly exam with the blooming of the lilacs.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But I'm not a very good liar, nor do I have any interest in syncing my lady bits with flower petals, so I was forced to admit the truth.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"When I go to the crotch doc, they weigh me," I explained. "And when they weigh me, it's part of my permanent medical record. And when they do that in January – following two months of gluttonous holiday feasting – plus you figure my clothes are heavier in the winter and they always have me get on the scale before I dress down, I end up weighing five or ten pounds more than I would in the summertime."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
By now he was staring at me like I'd just announced my intent to give up romance writing so I could campaign to be the next pope. "Are your medical records posted on your blog?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"No," I admitted.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Does anyone besides you or your doctor see them?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"No."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"So let me get this straight," he said. "You'd rather die of cervical cancer than have a scale tell you what you weigh in January?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I had to think about that for a minute. "Maybe?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He's right in calling me out for a level of vanity I wish I didn't possess. I swear I'm not like that in most aspects of my life. I can run to the grocery store sans makeup and wearing pajama pants. I buy all my clothes at thrift stores. I consider it a major accomplishment if I run a brush through my hair or wash it more than twice a week.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So why this hangup about seeing the doctor's scale with a number that's a few pounds more than I want it to be? I'm not sure I can answer that, but at least I know I'm not alone. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Last week I met up with some girlfriends at a local wine bar. As we sat studying the menu, the conversation turned to the inevitable winter weight gain we'd all experienced.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"I'm glad I can talk about this with you guys, because I don't want to mention it to my husband," one or the women confided.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Yeah," I agreed. "Guys tend to rate discussions of weight gain right up there with conversations about testicle piercing."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Well, yes," she said. "But also I'm thinking he might not have noticed, so I don't want to point it out and have him <i>start</i> noticing."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Across the table, another woman who'd just informed us she's training for a half-marathon sat nodding in agreement. "I don't complain about my weight to my husband because he'll get excited to have an excuse for the two of us to run more."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What's the deal? What is it about weight that makes perfectly sane, perfectly attractive, perfectly healthy women go a little nutso? I'm asking for real here. What's your theory? Do you find yourself feeling fretful about a few holiday pounds, or do you have bigger fish to fry?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Mmm, fried fish....that sounds good. Maybe with a side salad?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After I call my doctor, of course.</div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-25432644855316940722014-12-29T02:15:00.000-08:002014-12-29T02:15:00.263-08:00It's release day for Best Man for Hire!So I have a new book out today!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Kb7z7C8ad3cxjYW-05xU3Kgs-BCON4NETXirIfrUt4Q0jnUZzP0PwgmD8Nn5fYjsXjeSBJSwsdyMivhnJuhZ2dPvWstRuC_bjaX8Mel6nLOnFX-vIaezSrLRm7ONLGUHv0nz0RbjFgqX/s1600/BMfH_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Kb7z7C8ad3cxjYW-05xU3Kgs-BCON4NETXirIfrUt4Q0jnUZzP0PwgmD8Nn5fYjsXjeSBJSwsdyMivhnJuhZ2dPvWstRuC_bjaX8Mel6nLOnFX-vIaezSrLRm7ONLGUHv0nz0RbjFgqX/s1600/BMfH_500.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
I just realized that's the fourth time I've typed that sentence in 2014, which makes me feel simultaneously proud, exhausted, and tingly in my swimsuit area.<br />
<br />
The latter is probably just my natural state of being.<br />
<br />
At any rate, <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i> is the third romantic comedy in my Front and Center series with Entangled Publishing, though you don't have to read the books in any particular order. You can start with <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i>, since it's priced at only 99-cents during release week, or you can see if Amazon is still running the 99-cent sale on the first book, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Marine-Front-Center-Entangled-Lovestruck-ebook/dp/B00HTJBE6O?tag=entangpublis-20&link_code=ur2&creative=9325&camp=211189" target="_blank">Marine for Hire</a> </i>(they were last time I checked).<br />
<br />
In other words, you can currently buy two books in the series for less than you'd pay to watch a full-length porn in one of those video booths at an adult arcade. This way you don't have to worry about touching the doorknob or hearing creepy noises from the booth next to yours, and isn't that better?<br />
<br />
So anyway, here are a few behind-the-scenes details about <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a>:</i><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Those of you who've read <i>Marine for Hire</i> may remember that story was set on Kauai, while <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/fiancee-for-hire/" target="_blank">Fiancée for Hire </a></i>(the second book in the series) took place mostly in Mexico. We're back on Kauai again for <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a>,</i> which may or may not be an indication that I use my writing career as an excuse to visit my parents at their home on Kauai at least once a year.</li>
<li>There's a scene in <i><a href="http://www.entangledpublishing.com/best-man-for-hire/" target="_blank">Best Man for Hire</a></i> where my heroine sustains a painful centipede bite on her butt cheek in the midst of a sexual escapade. While I've never had that specific experience, I did have a rather terrifying incident where I donned my bathrobe to discover a centipede lurking in the sleeve. I avoided being bitten by tearing off my robe and shrieking like a lunatic while dancing around my parents' hallway in my birthday suit. You're welcome for that visual.</li>
<li>There's another scene where my heroine tells the hero an embarrassing childhood story about throwing up in her underwear at school. That story comes straight from the pages of my own middle school experience, and you can read all about it <a href="http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/2010/06/how-i-hurked-in-my-underwear.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I guess I should tell you what the book is about instead of blathering on about bug bites and vomit, huh? Here's the blurb:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Anna Keebler makes a living being unconventional. A wedding planner who specializes in more…unusual ceremonies, Anna’s client list includes everything from nudists to paintballers to Little Red Riding Hood enthusiasts. So when her photographer up and quits during a wedding blitz in Hawaii, Anna makes an unconventional decision. She hires a hot Marine to be her new photographer. </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Little does she know, Grant Patton is the best man in one of her weddings. He’s so perfect he’s practically a Boy Scout—if Boy Scouts were big, ripped Marines with gorgeous gray eyes, and good at, oh, everything. Especially sex. In fact, his only flaw seems to be that he hates marriage as much as she does. But Anna suspects the sexy Boy Scout routine is a cover, and if he wants this thing between them to be about more than sex, Grant must reveal the dark past he’s fought so hard to hide…
</i></blockquote>
<div>
<br />
So there you have it. If you're intrigued, you can plop down 99-cents this week and read the whole book for the price of a condom in a gas station bathroom. If you're not intrigued, that's okay, too. Just try not to touch anything in that porn booth, okay?</div>
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<br /></div>
TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422555164465305734.post-55988296353882322402014-12-15T08:33:00.000-08:002014-12-15T08:33:28.009-08:00Why you can’t take a romance author to the doctor I’ve had neck trouble for as long as I can remember. While it’s never bothered me enough to do much for treatment, an upcoming insurance switch—combined with turning 40 in August—prompted me to book an appointment a few weeks ago.<br />
<br />
They referred me to a reputable neck and back clinic known for targeted physical therapy and impressive results, and I knew I was in trouble before I even finished the paperwork.<br />
<br />
Poor penmanship and an ill-timed hiccup caused me to put an odd space between the letters as I scrawled the word “therapist.” Concerned I’d start things off on the wrong foot, I approached the receptionist with the paperwork clutched in one hand.<br />
<br />
“Just so you know,” I told her, “I didn’t mean to write ‘the rapist’ here. I’m not implying anything untoward about the staff.”<br />
<br />
She blinked at me, then stared at the form. “I—um—I’ll let them know.”<br />
<br />
My non-rapist therapist turned out to be a friendly woman who started things off with a series of questions about my hobbies and career.<br />
<br />
“A romance author?” she replied when I told her. “Really? That’s fascinating.”<br />
<br />
“Kind of,” I admitted. “I write romantic comedy.”<br />
<br />
“What does that mean, exactly?”<br />
<br />
“It means I write funny smut,” I explained. “I like to write things that simultaneously make you giggle and tingle in your swimsuit area.”<br />
<br />
I thought that was a pretty apt description worthy of ending up on a business card, but she just looked at me oddly a moment before consulting her clipboard.<br />
<br />
“OK then, it sounds like you’ve had neck pain for quite awhile,” she said. “Was there any inciting injury?”<br />
<br />
“Not that I can recall.”<br />
<br />
“Let’s go through a series of movements and you can tell me if you have difficulty performing them. Ready?”<br />
<br />
I nodded, which—for the record—was not a difficult movement. But when she began to bob her head front to back in a rhythmic fashion, I fought the urge to giggle.<br />
<br />
“Can you do this?” she asked.<br />
<br />
“Absolutely,” I said, thrusting my head back and forth with great enthusiasm. “You’re not the first person to ask me that today.”<br />
<br />
“What?”<br />
<br />
“Nothing.”<br />
<br />
“OK then,” she said, ceasing her head bob. “Any difficulty swallowing?”<br />
<br />
I grimaced, trying hard not to snicker. “You’re setting this up for me, aren’t you?”<br />
<br />
“What do you mean?”
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “Nope, no trouble swallowing.”<br />
<br />
She scribbled something on her clipboard, and I squinted to see if I could make out the words “sexual deviant” anywhere in her notes.<br />
<br />
“Let’s talk about sleep positions,” she said.<br />
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“Let’s!” I agreed, always happy to discuss any activity that takes place in bed.<br />
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“Do you like to be on your back, on your side, on your stomach?”<br />
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“Yes!” I said, then reconsidered the question. “Wait, you mean for sleeping?”<br />
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I admitted that I usually start out on my back or side, but somehow end up flopped on my stomach with my hands tucked under my hips. She explained that particular position is one of the worst things I can do to my neck, and that I should make every effort to stay on my back or side.<br />
<br />
“We don’t want you to wake up with any weird kinks,” she said.<br />
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“I’m a romance author,” I pointed out. “I’d be out of a job if I didn’t wake up with any weird kinks.”<br />
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We finished our first session without any further incident—save one small snicker when she asked if I had any objection to restraints—and I left with three more appointments scheduled in the coming weeks.<br />
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I’d like to say I’ll be on my best behavior for future visits. But what does that really mean, anyway?TAWNA FENSKEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11468819219529035563noreply@blogger.com4