Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Typos that make me giggle

Yesterday, I was typing away on the manuscript. It was a scene where the hero struggled to keep from thinking illicit thoughts about the heroine.

As you can imagine, he wasn't having much success.

The sentence I tried to type was this:

He pictured her writhing beneath him.

What I actually typed was this:

He pictured her writing beneath him.

I suppose it could be erotic if she were using one of those old-fashioned quills with the feather on the end, but generally speaking, most men aren't turned on by the thought of their lady-love pounding away on the laptop while they're pounding away on...well, we won't finish that thought.

The visual made me giggle all evening long, and I'll probably still be giggling in a few days.

I did the same thing a couple weeks ago when I kept accidentally hitting the "h" instead of the "j" on my keyboard. In my defense, they are side by side. That doesn't mean sentences like this one made a whole lot of sense:

Twenty-pound cats aren't known for being silent humpers.

Probably one of my favorite typos doesn't come from manuscripts at all, but from my years as a technical writer. I used to craft those oh-so-useful bits of help text designed to assist users confused about the software. You know what I'm talking about – the field says entry and you aren't certain what it means, so you click for more information and the help text reads enter a valid entry.

Helpful stuff, that help text.

That wasn't the typo though. The typo that made me laugh every time was the one that resulted when I tried to tell users to click the box, click the field, click here.

You guessed it – I often omitted the "c." Somewhere out there, legions of software users are probably still slobbering on their computer monitors wondering why they aren't achieving the desired results.

Do you have any favorite typos that always make you snicker? Please share.

I'll be writing beneath my husband as he licks the computer monitor and the cat humps loudly on the table.


Kerrie said...

Funny post. :-) I sometimes accidentally leave out the "l" in public and get sentences like, "I enjoy listening to This American Life on National Pubic Radio."

Sarah W said...

Oh, Kerrie, you took mine! :)

I'm a librarian and that typo appears to be a professional hazard . . . or at least mine.

I wonder what the circulation stats would be for a pubic library?

Linda G. said...

Well, twenty-pound cats probably AREN'T silent humpers...

Sadly, most of my typos are mundane. Though I do have a tendency to refer to the shortened title of my book as F*X instead of FIX. But mostly I do that on purpose now.

Patty Blount said...

I recently did the public/pubic typo and published a document with that still in it.

But the one I won't ever live down is the famous vulvan mind meld. In my defense, the C is right next to the V. :)

Crystal Posey said...


Sierra said...

My worst ones are what my boyfriend calls "verbal typos."

Like when I said "boinkfriend" instead of "boyfriend."

Or misread a frozen yogurt sign (that had a post in front of it, in my defense) as "lemon assassin fruit" instead of "lemon passion fruit." That one almost made him propose on the spot.

The most recent one was while texting. "Beard" became "bear," and a friend was left wondering why my parrot loved to rub her face on my boyfriend's bear...and where he'd managed to acquire one.

Penrefe said...

In a recent draft, I'd just introduced a new character, who I felt should be a dominating presence, so I wrote him as being tall and stocky. When I read it back, he was actually tall and sticky.

Sierra Godfrey said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with the tech writing. Every current and former tech writer (of which I am) is cringing at this because of all the missed horrible typos that are somehow so much worse when it appears in otherwise dry and serious technical copy.

I used to leave out the "o" in "count" way too often, to the point where I had to go "am I doing this on purpose?? and if so, tee hee!!"

Laura Maylene said...

I wrote a post about typos, but my favorite one would have to be in this article (you learn about the typo right up front in the correction):


It's almost too good to be real.

Danica Avet said...

LOL Thanks for the laugh! That was great!

The one typo I find myself doing every time I'm in a hurry is when I'm typing contractions followed by "it". You know, like "didn't it" except it comes out "didn tit" every single time. Then there's the ever popular kill instead of kiss. "He killed her gently." Always fun.

Brandi Guthrie said...

Hilarious! One of mine is "vicious" and "viscous." There have been a lot of viscous antagonists in my stories.

Amanda said...

I have written "no tit" (instead of "not it") more times than I'd like to admit. What is the hidden meaning here? Hmmm....


Kerrie, ah yes, the public/pubic typo really never stops being funny.

Sarah, I suspect a public library would be mighty popular.

Linda G, your fux/fix typo is one of my favorites!

Patty, LOL, thanks for the reminder about your vulvan mind meld typo. Love that one!

Crystal, glad to amuse!

Sierra, I made the mistake of reading your comment at work. Everyone wanted to know what was so funny.

Penrefe, well he WOULD be pretty imposing if he were sticky.

Sierra Godfrey, oh dear. Would you believe I've never thought of leaving out the "o" in count? Now I'm going to start doing it all the time. You've ruined me!

Laura, OMG, that's hysterical!!!!

Danica, I do that one all the time. If I had a nickel for every time I've typed "tit"...well, accidentally, I mean.

Brandi, viscous antagonists would get along well with Penrefe's "tall and sticky" guy!

Amanda, have done that one many, many, times!

Thanks for reading, guys!


~ M said...

Long ago, I was reading Harry Potter fan fiction and someone wrote "Harry put his arm around Hermione's waste." It was a pretty gross visual.

Anonymous said...

How about the time I wrote about being too busty rather than busy? In my defense, the T sits uncomfortably close to the Y.