Help me get my poop together!

As you may know, I'm a Google Analytics fiend and a stalker when it comes to tracking blog stats.

Lately, I'm seeing a lot of first-time blog visitors showing up just to read old posts like You are a real author, dammit! or Query stats or Fake car sex.

I'm not sure how they're finding those posts, but I'm feeling kind of like I do when a bunch of unexpected house guests show up and I'm standing there in spaghetti-stained sweatpants with a pile of dirty dishes on the counter.

I always meant to have an organized system for archiving blog posts so new visitors could find what they're seeking. Like if you want to read posts about critique partners, there'd be an easy way to locate them. Or if you want to read posts about crotch patches or crotch pockets...um, I guess I'd have a separate category labeled "pervert?"

Anyway, I'd love your help getting organized. I'll even make it worth your while.

In the comments trail, please share one or more of the following:

• Are there any blogs you frequent that make it super easy to locate old posts on certain topics? Show me!
  
• For this blog, can you think of topics you'd like to see broken out or specific posts you'd like to see under those headings?
• Can you share any other tips for organizing/archiving blogs? Anything you've seen elsewhere that I should be doing here?
• What topics would you like me to tackle in future blog posts? OK, so this has nothing to do with organization. It's just me being lazy so I have something to blog about on those mornings I'm brain dead.

Answer one or more of these questions in the comments and I will be eternally grateful.

I will also give you a chance to win a fabulous book I just finished reading. I have an autographed copy of Joelle Anthony's terrific debut YA novel RESTORING HARMONY. I loved this book, and so will you. Well, only one of you will get to love this exact book. The rest of you will have to buy your own.

Just to keep things fair, I'm going to let Joelle pick a winner instead of having one of my pets do it this time. If Joelle really wants to fetch balls or swim for sticks, I'm happy to throw them for her.

Oh, and speaking of the amazing Joelle Anthony, she was one of last season's authors over at The Debutante Ball. The Friday blogger, to be specific. Know who's blogging there on Friday's now? (Hint: ME!) Stop by and say hello!

OK, blog readers – take it away! Help me get my poop together.

And thanks!

Hell in a desk basket

The other day, I reached for my lip balm.

It’s in a little basket on my desk beside the computer, and I know right where the lip balm sits without looking.

Well, I thought I did.

Apparently, a lip balm and a glue stick bear such a striking resemblance to each other.

Annoyed with myself, I decided it was time to clean the desk basket. I originally put it there to hold items I considered necessary for my workday, so here’s a list of some of those necessary items:

1. Two tubes of hand cream, one tube of foot cream, one tube of body cream
2. A lapel pin depicting an Oregon Pink Shrimp
3. A packet of all-purpose plant food
4. A miniature Slinky
5. Toenail clippers
6. Four small rocks
7. One glue stick
8. Refills for an automatic pencil I do not own
9. One packet of Sen-Sens
10. A fake rubber worm
11. Five hair elastics
12. A spoon
13. A tape measure
14. Two spools of dental floss
15. Seven lipsticks, four lip balms, and two tubes of lip gloss
16. Two small plastic lizards
17. An assortment of paperclips, safety pins, and pocket change

In case you think I’m making this up, here’s photographic evidence:

My mom has a catch-all drawer in the kitchen she calls “the hell drawer,” so it seems I have a “hell basket.”

I have no idea how half this stuff ended up in there or why I thought it was integral to my work.

Do you have a basket or a drawer that’s become the dumping ground for hodgepodge in your life? What is the strangest item currently in it?

Please share in the comments. I’ll be busy staging a battle between the worm and the lizards.

The fine art of feeding yourself

My recent posts about my recipe cupboard have generated some interesting emails, tweets, and blog comments about my cookbooks.

In case you’re wondering – yes, my Better Homes & Gardens cookbook is indeed disintegrating from overuse, and yes, the Intercourses aphrodisiac cookbook really will make your spouse lie down naked on the dinner table (so maybe don’t use it when your mom visits).

A couple comments reminded me of a conversation that took place when I first purchased one of the books:

Clerk (eyeing the book, then eyeing me): A Weight Watchers cookbook?

Me: Um, yes. And also this shower brush shaped like a penis.

Clerk (eyeing me some more): That’s not a penis, it’s a leg. And why do you need a Weight Watchers cookbook? You’re thin.

It was one of those moments I wish I were quick with clever retorts. My first instinct was to wonder if the clerk also chided overweight customers purchasing dessert cookbooks. Then I imagined the inappropriate conversation I could spark by returning to the counter with a sex manual.

But I suppose I can’t fault the clerk’s observation. Yes, I’m a relatively thin person who just happens to like healthy cooking. My intense love affair with my Reader’s Digest How To Book of Healthy Cooking doesn’t mean I’m on an anorexic quest to drop 50 pounds, but it does probably mean I’m interested in keeping the figure I have.

It’s funny this subject should come up the same week I’ve been contemplating taking an online course on revisions from author Lani Diane Rich (aka Lucy March).

I mentioned it to an acquaintance the other day, and she looked at me like I’d just announced my intent to try sword swallowing.

“But you’ve already got a book deal,” she said. “Why do you need a writing class?”

I’m intrigued by this idea that an author could reach some I have arrived pinnacle and suddenly kick back with a glass of Sangiovese and the smug certainty she knows everything there is to know about writing.

If there is such a pinnacle, I don’t want to reach it.

Isn’t that the thrill of this business? The fact that no matter what stage you’re at in your career, you can always learn and grow and fine-tune your writing? There are a million ways for an author to refill her bag of tricks, and that’s part of what keeps this process fresh and fun. I don’t care if you’re a brand new author or Stephen King – smart writers are always working to hone their talents and sharpen their skills.

How about you? What do you do to maintain or improve your writing abilities?

Please share in the comments.

I'll be busy enjoying my healthy cookbooks and my online writing class and especially my penis-shaped shower brush.

Betcha thought I forgot...

Last week I showed you my disgusting recipe cupboard and lamented the fact that I have the supplies required to organize it, but never seem to make the time.

In case you've forgotten what the hellhole looked like, here's a refresher:

You may also recall that some of you accepted my challenge to pick a task you've been procrastinating and tackle it in the coming week.

Betcha thought I forgot.

Well, I didn't. True, I was distracted by my parents' visit and Pythagoras' triathlon and our impromptu trip to the Oregon Coast. But I uphold my commitments.

So here's what I did last night:

Getting organized at the dining room table.

Finishing up in the living room (much later, as you can tell by the lack of light, the dog's yawn, and the level of the wine remaining in the bottle)

The finished product. A well-organized recipe cupboard. Hooray!

And here's the funny thing: one of my excuses for procrastinating this task is that I've had too damn much to do. I'm finishing up the first draft of LET IT BREATHE (the third book in my contract) while also completing edits on MAKING WAVES and BELIEVE IT OR NOT (the first and second books, which are due on my editor’s desk August 1).

But taking those few hours to tackle and complete an unrelated project gave me a sense of accomplishment. As I finished tidying the cupboard this morning, I realized I was already itching to get started on the edits.

A far cry from the foot-dragging I’ve been doing lately.

So I guess the lesson here is that it’s not such a bad thing to take a little time away from writing to tackle some menial task that gives you a sense of accomplishment. As an added bonus, I uncovered some terrific recipes I’d forgotten about. Mustard Crusted Salmon, anyone?

Did the rest of you tackle an undesirable task this week? How did you fare? Tell us all about it in the comments!

On an unrelated note, I’d like to urge you all to check out a couple other sites today.

First up, Candyland (aka Candace Ganger) is doing an awesome fundraiser for the non-profit group Joy 2 the World, which generates micro-credit loans for the women of Ghana to encourage independence and empowerment.

It is a fabulous cause, and Candyland is giving away some truly incredible prizes for supporters. You could snag a 30-minute phone call with my amazing agent, Michelle Wolfson, some highly desirable books from authors like Sean Ferrell and Bill Cameron, or even a tag-team critique of your partial manuscript from yours truly and my critique partner, Cynthia Reese.

There are tons of other great prizes for writers and non-writers alike, so go now! NOW!

Secondly, Elizabeth Ryann (the lucky wench) got to attend RomCon recently, and brought back a huge stack of books she’s giving away on her blog. There are even a few in there from my own wonderful publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc. Want to win them? You’ll have to visit Elizabeth’s blog to get yourself entered.

Er, I didn’t mean it like that.

So that’s it for today – two great contests, one clean cupboard, and a whole lot of editing ahead of me today.

Life’s good.

Just freakin' do it (+special announcment)

First, a special announcement:

Head over to Candyland’s blog to hear how she's raising money for the women of Ghana, West Africa. You can get your mitts on some terrific prizes, including autographed books, agent consultations, and author critiques. The money goes to a great cause, and participants include my amazing agent Michelle Wolfson (who’s offering up a 30-minute phone consultation) as well as my wonderful critique partner Cynthia Reese (who is joining forces with yours truly to offer a tag-team critique of a partial manuscript…something she explains beautifully on her blog today).

Go click the links, and GET INVOLVED!

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog post…

So you know how I love to cook, right?

And you know how I’ve bragged about the number of cookbooks I own and recipe sites I frequent?

Now I’m going to show you my dirty little secret. You ready?

This is the cupboard that holds it:

Scary, isn’t it?

It’s a mess on many levels, but the worst of it is the mountain of recipes clipped from newspapers or printed from online sites. Each time I open that cupboard, I risk death by avalanche. Sometimes I go hunting for a recipe and get so tired of looking for it that I change my mind and eat tater tots. I’ve got at least a dozen more cookbooks scattered in rooms where no cooking can take place.

I need to get organized.

Funny thing is, I bought all the supplies to do that almost seven months ago. I’ve got a binder for the loose recipes, and little plastic sheets to keep them sorted. I know where most of the missing cookbooks are and could easily round them up.

So why haven’t I done it?

I could come up with a million excuses, some of which might be pretty creative. But the fact is, I’ve been procrastinating because I don’t want to do it.

I’ll admit, I’ve been known to do this in my writing, too. Even though I’m nearing the end of LET IT BREATHE, there’s still some research I need to do to round out one of the subplots. There are still a couple scenes I’m dragging my feet on writing. There’s no compelling reason I haven’t done these things, except I don’t wanna (which isn’t a very compelling reason, not even if I whine it).

Do you do this to? Do you have tasks that really wouldn’t take much effort, but you put them off a ridiculously long time? If so, join me in making a pledge to just freakin’ do it already. Clean that cupboard, organize that junk drawer, or tackle that annoying scene in your manuscript.

Tell me what you’re procrastinating and then pledge to get it done in the coming week. We’ll all report back here next week to brag about what we've accomplished and pat each other on the back for our progress. Deal?

Unless I’m killed by a paper avalanche.

Note to self: write better notes to self

I was in the shower yesterday when an idea hit me like a pair of lard-filled pantyhose dropped from a skyscraper.

Since I wasn’t in the mood to run dripping and naked down the hall for a notepad, I did what most writers in my position would do.

I scrawled it on the glass shower door with a broken piece of soap.

That evening, I saw Pythagoras studying it. “What does ‘gma gw wd bsd msct’ mean?”

The funny thing is, I knew exactly what it meant. By then I had already written a draft of the scene and found the idea to be perfect for what I’d hoped to accomplish.

There are oodles of tools on the market to help writers arrange their thoughts in an orderly fashion. There are special notebooks and software programs and gadgets whose primary function is to make us feel inadequate for not being more organized.

To be honest, I don’t know many writers who are very organized. Most of us, it seems, live our lives surrounded by scraps of paper we’ll spend hours squinting at in hopes of determining whether we’re looking at a brilliant plot twist or a reminder to schedule a pap smear.

I felt better about this recently when I stumbled upon a blog entry by my idol, Jennifer Crusie in which she posted a photo of her office. If the grand dame of romantic comedy can write masterpieces in a workspace like that, there’s hope for the rest of us.

Pictured at right is my trusty palm pilot. Please note my highly complex system for separating shopping lists from general household errands and more complicated plot ideas.

OK, admittedly the color-coding was an accident. It’s less a system of organization and more a matter of which pen I grab when an idea strikes, but it looks nice, doesn’t it?

The thing is, it works for me. My flesh and my work surfaces may be covered with words that look like gibberish, but they all mean something to me. More often than not, the system works.

How about you? Is your workspace a mess? Are you surrounded by a confetti of notes to yourself? Or are you one of those disturbingly organized writers the rest of us secretly want to smack? Please share in the comments.