Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Yes, I'm coveting your phone . . . and your ability to use it

Last night, I had a girls’ night out with a group of former colleagues. We shared drinks and laughs and spring rolls and had several meaningful conversations about shoes.

While admiring everyone’s accessories, I couldn’t help but notice that my friends all have much cooler cell phones than I do.

Their phones have keyboards and GPS and Internet and cool ring-tones.

Mine has 78 photos of the inside of my purse.

Not that I’d actually know what to do with a cool cell phone if I had one, but since I’ve managed to get the hang of tweeting and blogging over the past two weeks, I have high hopes that I will someday own and master such a device.

Then again, my history with text messaging suggests otherwise.

I received my very first text message about two years ago. I was so pleased with myself for being able to open it, and even more pleased that it required only a simple “yes” or “no” reply.

I fumbled with the buttons for the better part of the morning. Finally, I managed to reply with neither “yes” nor “no,” but “moss.”

Surprisingly, my friend did not find this helpful.

Several months later, I got my second text message. It was the same friend, and this time we were both celebrating the outcome of an election. I meant to type something clever and witty, like “f**k yeah” (which is considered very clever and witty after five glasses of wine).

The response I sent was “feed.”

Thoroughly annoyed with me, my friend took my phone away the next time we met and magically reprogrammed it so I could send text messages that actually made sense.

In theory, anyway.

A new problem has arisen now that I’ve managed to send more than a handful of text messages. My phone – helpful creature that it is – feels compelled to complete words for me based on similar words I’ve typed in the past.

Considering the words I’ve typed in the past, this isn’t a good thing. Recently, I tried to text a friend to let her know that I would see her the next night.

Naturally, my phone concluded that I was trying to tell my friend I would see her next nipple.

So I haven’t managed to master technology yet, but I’m trying. Who knows? Maybe amid all this blogging and texting and tweeting, I’ll even find time to write another book.


Lindsay said...

I, personally, am very proud of your evolution into the world of texting. It's time for you to get a full keyboard...what are you waiting for??

Linda G. said...

Are you sure we're not the same person? Just living in parallel East Coast/West Coast universes?

But listen, if you figure out the whole messaging thing, could you maybe show me how? I'd ask one of my kids, but I can't stand the pitying looks.


Lindsay, yes wink-wink-nudge-nudge, since you're the "friend" who's been dragging me kicking and screaming into the realm of text messaging. Clearly what I need is a full keyboard. Think of how many dirty words I could type then.

Linda G. I have a hunch I'm a long way from figuring out the text messaging thing. Good thing our brilliant and talented agent seems satisfied with email and phone calls. Otherwise, I think we'd both be screwed.

Rhonda said...

A full keyboard is definitely the way to go. I knew I needed one when my 60 year old mother could out text me. That right. My 60 year old mother. She'd send me a text. I'd try to respond. She'd send me another text. I'd try to respond. Finally, she'd send me a text asking if I got her first two texts and why I hadn't responded yet. *forehead smack* Also? She totally kicks my butt at the abbreviated text speak. It's frightening and possibly a sign of the apocalypse.

Eeleen Lee said...

my friends have Iphones and the phones are smarter than them, its scary


Rhonda, thanks for reading! Isn't it amazing how some people seem to get the hang of text messaging instantly while others are left poking at the keys like monkeys?

Lee Ee, I hear you on the iPhone thing. I know a few people who have them, and I swear, they let the things drive their cars for them. Thanks for stopping by the blog!


Janelle Alexander said...

I stand by my previous tweet!! ;o) I recently upgraded from a regular old phone to an *gasp* iPhone. And yes, I let it drive my car! (hehe, just kidding!) My friend upgraded to the new iPhone and gave me the old one!! *squee* I LOVE having a full keyboard! (and everything else about it)

Anyway, thanks for making me laugh!!