Thursday, June 10, 2010

The monkey business of social media

Social media is a serious networking tool for serious writing professionals. It allows you to build a readership, discuss craft and technique with fellow writers, and establish your brand identity as an author.

It also allows you to discuss feet.

This is what author/blogger Sierra Godfrey and I bonded over the other day when we realized we both have bizarrely agile toes.

Since it is obviously crucial to our writing careers that we explore this issue in depth, we began swapping stories of what we can do with our toes.

Check out her blog to find out what she's capable of, but here’s my list:

  • Pick up a dropped razor in the shower. No need to bend over!
  • Make my bed. I tried this when I was 10 to ensure I was prepared in case I ever lost both arms in a freak badminton accident.
  • Write my name with a pen. I’m considering doing this at future book signings.
  • Pull my husband’s leg hair. This is probably why he started shaving it.
  • Type poignant love scenes in my manuscript. Don’t believe me? Here’s what I wrote yesterday:
Jmnglkiffooljyjyoinh grtrflrfol.rfrrejirooror

It’s clearly a very tender and moving scene, though Pythagoras was not particularly moved to find me with my feet on the keyboard.

Being serious writers who always strive to grow and improve, Sierra and I challenged each other to broaden our skills. Since she has a degree in art, I wanted to see if she could use her toes to edit a picture in Photoshop.You can see how she fared over on her blog.

Meanwhile, Sierra challenged me to embrace the spirit of the Monkey Toes Club by peeling a banana. Here’s how it unfolded.
Grasping the banana caused toe cramps at first, but I persevered.
Once I got it started, the peeling itself was fairly easy.
After peeling and devouring the banana, I went outside to swing in the trees.
So as you can see, social media is an important way for authors to forge valuable connections with fellow professionals.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my agent to let her know I’ll be writing my next book entirely with my feet. Pretty sure I can dial the iPhone with my toes.


Unknown said...

You. Are. Nuts.'s awesome. :-D
I can go to work now.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

:) This post totally brightened my day. That's an impressive skill! You're going places, you're definitely going places. :)

Martina Boone said...

Seriously hysterical. I am impressed! I have zero toe skills. :) Thanks for the laugh!


Matthew MacNish said...

Your husband shaves his legs? TMI. Just kidding. This was actually an impressive but hilarious post. You are one talented gal.

Thanks for brightening my day Tawna!

Christi Goddard said...

What I love about you? You're real. You do what you want, say what you want, and don't care if others judge you. I judge you, I admit. I judge you to be AWESOME.

Linda G. said...

ROF,L! Now, THAT is freakin' hilarious. Though I must admit I'm a trifle disappointed you didn't make a vid while you were at it. Maybe next time?

Kelly Breakey said...

I am so jealous of your toe agility. Is there a class I can take to learn how to do this? Heck, I don't need no class, I will teach myself. I am going to incorporate this into my daily exercise plans. Since I don't like banana's do you think I could learn to peel an apple with a knife, or is that too ambitious my first time our?

Danica Avet said...

ROFL, Tawna!!! That's hilarious. God. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who uses their toes for something other than appendages that need to be painted. When I was younger, my friend showed me how to pinch people with my toes. It became my secret weapon of defense against a younger brother. Can't reach his arms and torso because he has my arms pinned? USE THE TOES! It worked every time. I also pick up things with them, but I've never tried to write with them. *ponders* Maybe I should efforts couldn't be any worse than my regular handwriting.

Delia Moran said...

Good to see those yoga classes are working. Which position did you use to eat the banana?

Summer Frey said...

LOL. I have agile toes too! But they're very short and stumpy.

Larissa said...

LMAO. That's awesome.


Jeannie, glad to start off your workday on the right foot. Ha!

Bethany, I'm pretty sure I need to add this to my resume.

Marissa, it's a gift I never take for granted, let me assure you.

Matthew, he actually DOES shave his legs during cycling season. It's something most elite cyclists do, don't ask me why.

Christi, are you suggesting people might read this and think I'm weird? Huh. Hadn't thought of that.

Linda G, there would have been some good opportunity for blooper video. The first banana broke in the middle and landed on my face. Had to peel a second one just to get the pic.

Kelly, you could totally wield a paring knife with your toes. Post pics, please!

Danica, I must master the pinching! That could be useful.

Delia, hmmm...I suppose I used Happy Baby pose to eat the banana. Or maybe I invented an entirely new one. Freaky Monkey?

Summer, it's not the length that matters, it's how you use it. I can't believe I just typed that.

Larissa, admit it, you know you want to try it now.

Thanks for reading, guys!

Elizabeth Ryann said...

I don't know if anyone's mentioned it to you before, but you have an extremely impressive brand.

Can't stop giggling.

Lindsay said...

Can't wait to hear about all the foot fetishists that are flocking to your blog now. They sure will be disappointed tomorrow.

Patty Blount said...

Oh, God. It hurts, it actually hurts to laugh this hard.

It's hard enough just lifting my feet let alone peel bananas with them. I'll leave the toe typing to you.

Caitlin Whitaker said...

I'm so awed by your abilities. Or- wait- your abilites are odd. Something like that. Anyway, you're going to have all your readers trying the Freaky Monkey now. :)

Unknown said...

I need to join your club! Back in High School, to prove my agile toes, I undid my BF's belt and pants and pulled down his boxers. :)
Freaky monkeys for the win! :)

Cara Wallace said...

You guys are funny. I can also pick up razors in the shower with my toes! And pet my cats. I haven't tried making my bed or peeling a banana, though.

Sierra Godfrey said...

Nice job, Tawna! I particularly liked that you ate the banana afterward. Everyone, did you SEE those incredible monkey appendages on her feet? I mean, golly!

Hee hee!

Rhonda said...

Wow. Just wow. I can pick up stuff with my toes but that's only because I'm too danged lazy to bend over and pick it up. Otherwise? I'm not sure that my toes are good for anything other than keeping my feet from being deformed stumps.

I had no idea that you had such talents!


Elizabeth, 10+ years in marketing & corporate communications and I build my brand around fake car sex and pictures of me eating fruit with my feet. Pretty sure something's wrong here, but I'm not sure what it is...

Lindsay, admit it, you just want to see if I can operate a wineglass with my toes (answer: probably).

Patty, you could always start with something easier, maybe de-seeding a watermelon with your toes?

Caitlin, awed/odd, what's the difference, really?

Eve, now THAT is impressive. I'm totally going to try that on Pythagoras tonight!

Cara, you must attempt these things and report back at once!

Sierra, nice job to you, too! And I want to see that Photoshop pic you did. Couldn't get a clear view on your blog :)

Rhonda, you must refine your talents. Start with the razor, work your way up to the soap.

Thanks for reading, guys!

Meghan Ward said...

You're both crazy! I found you through Sierra's blog. Nice to meet you!

Sierra Godfrey said...

Oh I don't think people saw that picture well enough -- it was of a money being pasted over a picture of YOU!

Rebecca T. said...

That is the BEST THING EVAR! I think I'll go try the banana thing.....

Harley May said...

Dear Tawna,

I'm concerned. This says something coming from me. That is all.


Melanie Sherman said...


Is this what your talk will be about at the Vancouver Writer's Mixer? Shall I notify Will to have bananas as snacks that night? (I think you will fit right in.)

prashant said...

This post totally brightened my day.
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inkgrrl said...

Best. Blog. Post. EVAR.

The clean desk was the first confirmation of your mental state ;-P

I can tie other people's shoelaces together underneath dinner tables (without much grunting or grimacing) to hilarious effect - especially when they've been drinking. Haven't tried peeling any fruit lately, but thank you for the inspiration!

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