Thursday, November 8, 2012

Four years ago...

Tuesday night, I picked up my phone and texted a single word to a friend:
feed!
She laughed. I know this because she was sitting two feet from me when she got the message.

It's an inside joke that started four years earlier on election night when she sent me a jubilant message about the outcome of a particular campaign. This was only the second text message I'd received in my life, and my effort to type f**k yeah did not go as planned.

In case you're wondering, my first text exchange was with the same friend who sent a note to ask if our boss had arrived at work yet. I replied moss. It was supposed to say nope.

My texting skills have changed a bit since then, as has the rest of my life. I thought about this Tuesday as my gentleman friend and I sat on the sofa drinking pumpkin ale and laughing with my texting friend and her husband.

Four years ago, those two weren't married.

Four years ago, I was across town at another friend's home watching election coverage and drinking some wine my then-husband and I had just brought back from Spain.

Four years ago on another side of town, my gentleman friend and his then-wife opened a bottle of champagne to toast new beginnings. Three months later, they separated.

Four years ago, my agent and I were 10 months into our working relationship with no clue we'd endure 15 more soul-crushing months to land a book deal. And we'd wait 15 long months beyond that for the first book to hit shelves.
Bindi & me at Oregon's Painted Hills. Incidentally, my
gentleman friend snapped this on one of our first big
outings together.

Four years ago, my dog Bindi – my trustiest, most faithful friend through my divorce and beyond – wasn't born yet. Back then, the two dogs who'd shared my life for a decade were still alive and well.

Four years ago, I had no idea that divorce, disappointment, and death waited on my horizon.

But I also didn't know I'd experience the exhilarating joys of falling in love again – with writing, with pets, and with the guy who now shares my home and my six-pack of pumpkin ale.

As I watched the election coverage last night, I couldn't help but wonder what's in store for me in the next four years. What's waiting in my future that I can't begin to imagine right now?

I can't know for sure, but I can know this – I'm ready for it. Bring it on.

And pass me the pumpkin ale.

16 comments :

Skye said...

Wonderful post!

Four years ago, I knew I was leaving Lincoln City, but I didn't know where to. As a matter of fact, four years ago I had just started on my six-week road trip to somewhere, with many stops along the way.

Four years ago, I thought I'd find some place to stop and quickly find a job. Four mostly unemployed years later, I am still looking and being amazed at the amount of savings and inheritance I've gone thru and still have to get me through until I find work. Or move to find work.

Four years ago both my grandma and my mom were still alive and I was grounded and centered by their lives and their love.

Four years later, I am contemplating returning to the NW, weather, high cost of living, and all. Who knows where I will be in four years.

Thanks for the thoughts that made me think. As you said, bring it on! For me, can't be a whole lot worse that some of the last four have been. Okay, it can be, but probably won't be. :)

Caryn Caldwell said...

I love to think about things like this, so thank you! It's exciting and awe-inspiring and downright scary to reflect on how things have changed - especially the twists and turns we couldn't have expected. And applying that to the nebulous future? Ack! Still, I can't wait.

Sierra Godfrey said...

I love it. What a nice way to reflect. I have watched you over the past-- maybe not four, but several--years grow and change and it's great to see. I love happy endings and I especially love that you're getting yours!

Debra Lynn Lazar said...

Four years ago I watched the election returns with my husband. I never imagined that he'd leave two years later after nearly 27 years of marriage. This election, I watched with my fiance and my feline overlord, Emma. Sadness mixed with gratefulness. Four years ago I hadn't yet found an agent. Now I'm, once again, hoping to find that magical relationship. If nothing else, life is full of surprises.

Judy,Judy,Judy. said...

I'm happy for you. Sounds like a great place to be in.

TeriBrownwrites said...

Good post. Four years ago I had a sneaking suspicion my writing career was over. What else has changed? Four years ago, I had a different vacuum cleaner.. does that count?

Lisa Gladden said...

Four years ago I was teaching the Bend Coronary Health Improvement Project, and slipping away to call my son for election updates. "Mom, its a landslide!" he said. Yay! I was working in private practice, loving my patients, but feeling bored. Four years later: My husband of 31 years was arrested, secretly cashed out and spent our 401K, and has been out of my house for a year. I became a National Health Service Corps PCP providing health care to the underserved, and am anything but bored. I discovered yoga. I quit running marathons. I am going to Nepal for the second time. I have an 18 year old Oregon Duck and a high school sophomore who keep me young. I have two older sons who live in Bend. I have an amazing oldest son in Illinois working on a PhD in piano performance. I have three daughters-in-law who are beautiful inside and out. I have the three cutest grandchildren who rock my world. I am learning to be attached to nothing and open to everything.

Jessica Lemmon said...

I love this post! :) On a side note, my phone likes to auto-correct Awesome! with Seedtime! I'm pretty sure that's not even a word.

Four years ago, I was in a job I'd proclaimed I'd stay in "until I'm dead." I'm not there any longer, and thank goodness it didn't have to come to that.

I had the same husband, the same house, but had no idea the worst year of our lives was about to come. Within 6 mos., we lost a pregnancy, an all-expense paid vacation due to Swine flu, and after my business went into the toilet, my husband lost his job.

But, we survived. We thrived. Each year has brought us more happiness and joy, and brought us closer together.

Four years ago, I had no idea that I'd attempt to write and publish a book, let alone that I'd actually accomplish that dream. (January 2013, my debut will be published!)

While the years weren't perfect, they led me to the path I'm on now.

And THAT is Seedtime.
:-)

Suz Korb said...

Aw, that made my eyes tear up.

Four years ago I got to visit my family back in America for the first time in three years. This year my mom and sister visited me here in England. Hope I don't have to wait another four years to see my family again!

jill said...

Four years ago, I was celebrating elections with my husband who passed away the next year. Since then, I've kept writing (balancing the time with all of the household chores I've had to pick up!) and acquired a few more four-legged family members.

In four more years, who knows?

Mary said...

Cheers, girl!

Michelle Wolfson said...

I love this post and I love the comments. Incredible
things have happened these past four years and yet you couldn't pay me enough money to live them again. I'm really looking forward to these next four though. For all of us who've lived the past four differently than expected, may the next four be better than we could imagine.

ardeeeichelmann said...

Tawna, I don't comment often on your blog but I really enjoy reading it. This is one of the best blog posts that you have written. It has lots of heart. Thanks for sharing your retrospective. I loved it.

Here's to the next four years!

Cheers,

Ardee-ann

thea mia said...

No doubt about it. I did like your story. It's enjoyable. For me, Four years ago, I had my embarrassing moment. And I'll keep it to myself. Lol.

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Aurelia Blue said...

So happy for you. :) Here's to the next four years!