Caption contest top 5: Now it's your turn to vote!

Holy cow! When I asked you guys to write a caption for a chance to win a prize, you took me seriously!

Or humorously, depending on how you look at it.

I had a tough time picking five finalists, but with a little help from my gentleman friend (and perhaps a pet or two) we managed to narrow it down.

Now, it's your turn to pick a winner. Post your vote in the comments by 5 p.m. PST on Thursday, March 29. If your entry is one of the five finalists shown here, feel free to lobby for votes via Facebook, Twitter, your own blog, or by offering sexual favors to other readers by explaining clearly and professionally why you deserve to win.

The winner will receive:

1. A signed copy of Making Waves
2. A signed copy of Believe it or Not
3. A dozen handy bookmarks emblazoned with all sorts of fun details about both books.

Now here are the entries:

Now you see why I had trouble picking! Aren't those awesome?

Choose your favorite and cast your vote in the comments. And thanks to everyone who participated. You guys rock!

Write a caption, win an awesome prize pack!

Sunday morning, I was scrambling frantically to pack for a three-day conference. When I dashed through the office to grab my laptop, I was surprised to discover it already in use:

Those of you who've read Getting Dumped know Blue Cat is a character in the story. Those who've read this blog for awhile know he's my real-life pet, and that his massive size makes him a less-than-ideal guest on my laptop. Not only had he typed an impressive string of letters with his hefty gut, he'd knocked my full cup of water to the floor.

Luckily, the floor is tile and the cup is silicone (if you have pets or children and don't own a cupboard full of Silipints, go buy some now. Seriously).

Suffice it to say, I wasn't keen on having an 18-pound cat decide my laptop is his new favorite nap spot.

Which is why I was doubly unimpressed to return from my lunch break yesterday to discover this:

Not one, but two cats have now decided my workspace makes a delightful hangout. I should point out that Matt the Cat looked up only briefly for this photo op, and then resumed gnawing on the arm of my office chair.

Not to be outdone, Blue Cat had his furry butthole parked squarely on a copy of Believe it or Not, while his "I'm annoyed with you" tail twitches knocked pages of my editor's notes from Getting Dumped episode #2 to the floor.

Helpful little bastards.

But there is a point to all this, which is to tell you about a contest that will allow one lucky winner to snag the following:

1. A signed copy of Making Waves
2. A signed copy of Believe it or Not
3. A dozen handy bookmarks emblazoned with all sorts of fun details about both books.

You'll recall I asked you guys to come up with an idea for a contest giving away the aforementioned goodies. I perused all the entries, and was most smitten with this one:

jeanette8042 said...

You could take a funny or regular pic of your pets and the books and ask readers to make funny caption.

Splendid idea! Jeanette, send your snail mail address to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com, and I'll send you a signed copy of Believe it or Not for coming up with a good plan for the contest!

As for the rest of you, here are the rules:

Write a caption for the photo featuring Blue Cat and Matt the Cat. Post it in the comments by noon PST on Monday, March 25. On Tuesday, March 26, I'll post my top five favorites.

Then I'll open it up to you guys to vote. You'll be free to lobby for votes via Facebook, Twitter, your own blog, or by offering sexual favors to other readers by explaining clearly and professionally why you deserve to win.

I'll tally the votes after that, and will announce the winner. Sound good?

Now go forth and caption! Here's that photo again:

Share your flutters, win a signed copy of BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Life's been a little roller-coasterish lately. While it sometimes gives me that fun, fluttery feeling in parts of my body that enjoy feeling fluttery, there are other moments I feel the nauseating urge to call Ralph on the porcelain phone.

I need to be better at focusing on the fun & fluttery.

Here are a few of the good giddy moments from the last few days:

• A big box showed up on my doorstep containing a buttload of copies of my next romantic comedy, Believe it or Not. That made me happy. The book hits shelves March 6 and you can pre-order right now from Amazon or Barnes & Noble or IndieBound. (You can also win a free signed copy if you keep reading and follow instructions, but I want to keep going with the fluttery list for a sec).
• I finished the first draft of the second episode of Getting Dumped for Coliloquy. This is my "interactive fiction" romantic caper (i.e. choose-your-own-adventure), and I was thrilled to bits the instant I hit send and fired the draft off to my agent, editor, and publisher. I was even more giddy to hear back from the publisher less than 24 hours later expressing her delight with the draft. There will still be edits, of course, but just knowing her initial response wasn't, "have you been eating paint chips?" was a big relief. (Incidentally, the first episode of Getting Dumped is on sale at Amazon right now for $1.99 – get it while it's cheap!)
• Believe it or Not received several more toe-curlingly wonderful reviews, including this one from Library Journal, which declared. "Fenske’s sophomore effort (after Making Waves) is another riotous trip down funny bone lane, with a detour to slightly askew goings on and a quick u-ey to out-of-this-world romance. Readers will be enchanted by this bewitching fable from a wickedly wise author." That one had me smiling all day long!
  
• Thursday marks eleven months since I first had dinner with my gentleman friend with the idea of seeking his counsel as my divorce mentor. Suffice it to say, he's turned out to be a whole lot more than that, and I feel ridiculously, deliciously fluttery every time I think of him. Or see him. Or grope him. Or....is it hot in here?
  
• I made a really excellent soup on Monday night. What? You have to celebrate the little flutters, too.

Those are just a few things I'm celebrating in my life right now. How about you? What's making you feel flutters of joy, satisfaction, or delight? Post your list in the comments. I'll review the entries at 5 p.m. PST on Thursday, Feb. 23 and will pick one person to receive a signed copy of Believe it or Not.

So how about it, guys? What's making you feel fluttery?

I'm not judging . . .Well, I kinda am

At least once a year, I lose consciousness and wake to discover I’ve volunteered to judge a writing contest.

In all seriousness, it’s a good exercise for me. There’s no better way to hone your skills at fine-tuning your own writing than to work hard at identifying tricky spots in other people’s prose.

I’m not going to name the contest or give you specifics of any entries, but I will tell you that in multiple years of contest judging, these are some common issues I see over and over…

Oh, how I love THAT word

Every writer has at least one word he or she uses to excess. Sometimes it’s a lazy way of conveying a certain emotion – Lord knows I’ve been known to overdo it with eye rolling or eyebrow raising. Other times, it’s a matter of inserting unnecessary words that clutter sentences and slow the flow. That is one of the most common offenders. “Carol really believed that Lyle liked dressing up in her panties” or “Don’t you think that Lyle wanted to be smeared with peanut butter?” In either example – and in many new writers’ sentences – “that” is unnecessary junk. Try identifying your overused word or words (we all have ‘em!) and do a seek and destroy mission to fine-tune your writing.

The big mis

We’re all familiar with this concept in movies and books, though not everyone knows the precise term. Short for the big misunderstanding, the big mis is when the story’s conflict could easily be cleared up if two people just sat down and had a two-minute conversation. Would your entire plot be wiped out if Felix just called Wanda and said he doesn’t want to marry her because she’s averse to wearing leather chaps, and Wanda got the chance to say she’d be absolutely delighted to wear leather chaps, as long as they’re purple? If so, you have a big mis plot on your hands (and perhaps a slightly misguided notion of what makes a good story).

When crafting your plot, make sure the conflicts you’re throwing at your characters are not too easy to overcome. If they are, look for ways to throw in bigger obstacles and higher stakes. If Felix can’t use his phone because a pack of rabid badgers got loose in his home and chewed through the phone cord, it’s believable he wouldn’t be able to call Wanda to talk about leather chaps. And if Wanda is tied up trying to locate her missing badger collection, it’s understandable she wouldn’t be able to sit down with Felix to shoot the breeze over an espresso.

Sing together now…Show, don’t tell!

I know, I know. This is one of the oldest pieces of advice on the planet, but it’s true for a reason. The number one issue I see in newer writers’ manuscripts is the habit of having the narrator trail off on a lengthy mental monologue of backstory, setting descriptions, or character details. Mavis might sit there for pages and pages thinking about how tumultuous her relationship with Sally has been from the time they were little girls. Average readers can endure that for…oh, about three sentences. After that, most of us are yawning and propping our eyes open with rusty paperclips.

How much more interesting would it be to show the complexities of Mavis and Sally’s friendship? What if Mavis tripped Sally as she walked into the room, but then offered her a hand up and a frosty margarita? What would you think about Mavis if you learned she possessed both a Nobel Prize and a prison tattoo? What would it convey about her friendship with Sally if you switched the scene to quick-paced dialogue about an orgy they once attended and showed Mavis and Sally’s emotion through body language – nail biting, pacing, smiling, uneasy laughter, teeth gritting, sighing, crossed arms, failure to make eye contact, even a well-placed headlock? Small gestures pack infinitely more punch than six paragraphs of narration telling the reader what you want him or her to know.

Do you have a particular writing no-no you’re trying to overcome? How about something you see in other people’s writing that drives you absolutely batty? Please share!

And hey, let me know if you want to go ahead and write those stories about Carol and Lyle or Felix and Wanda or Mavis and Sally. I think there’s something good there.

My plea to you...no headlock required

You know how I’ve made it a point never to put anyone in a headlock and scream “buy my book!”

It’s because I believe wholeheartedly that social media works best when sales pitches are kept to a bare minimum, and I try to be bare as much as possible.

But today I’m making the plea – BUY MY BOOK!

Or more specifically, pre-order it. Like, now.

See, books are judged heavily on the first week’s sales. Pre-orders count toward that week, which is why you see a lot of authors dancing topless in exchange for pre-orders in the weeks leading up to release day.

I’m not saying I think I have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting the New York Times list my first week out, but I always believe in giving any long-shot my best effort. Even though I know odds are slim Daniel Craig will leave his new wife to make wild, passionate love to me, I still Fed-Ex him locks of my hair every week.

So here’s my plea:

1. Pre-order the Making Waves by Sunday, July 31. You can order at Amazon or Barnes and Noble or Powells Books or IndieBound.
2. Send an email to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com with the subject line “Hell yes I pre-ordered!” In the email, include either an electronic copy of your receipt, or if you already received the book due to Amazon's early shipment, a photo of yourself with the book.
3. Include your snail-mail address.

Follow those steps by Sunday, July 31 and I’ll mail you a signed Making Waves bookmark. Those of you reading the e-book version will find it makes a lovely coaster for a really narrow drink.

Everyone who participates gets the bookmark. In addition, everyone will be entered in a drawing to win a signed copy of Making Waves (hey, you can give your unsigned one to a friend) as well as a signed Advance Reading Copy of my second contracted romantic comedy, Believe it Or Not when it’s available. Not a bad package, right?

I said “package.”

So there’s my plea. No headlock required, right?

If you have any questions, leave ‘em in the comments. Otherwise, I’ll be over here hitting “refresh” on my in-box over and over and over and…

ADDENDUM

Holy cow, you guys! Um, talk about speedy response! Amazon is already showing limited quantities in stock (it said six copies just ten minutes ago, and now it says two). My amazing agent scrambled to touch base with the publisher and make sure there are plenty of books available. They've assured us there are, and that if anyone does happen to run out, printing more is a speedy proposition. So keep ordering, and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

CONTEST: My parents showed my ARC a good time. Can you?

A few weeks ago, blog readers made a compelling argument for my mother to receive one of my Advance Reading Copies of Making Waves.

As it happened, Mom was summoned for jury duty shortly thereafter. Ever the savvy marketer, she tucked the book in her bag and headed off for a long morning of thumb-twiddling with a hundred other potential jurors in a cramped waiting area. She had only been holding my ARC a short time when – just as Mom expected – a bored fellow citizen asked what she was reading.

"Well, actually..." Mom began, and launched into her Making Waves sales pitch.

I laughed 'til I snorted when she told me that, and requested photographic proof. Not only did she provide it, she and my father began a quest to show their ARC of Making Waves an all around good time. Check it out:

Mom reads Making Waves in front of the juror entrance.

Then she takes Making Waves out to dinner with her girlfriends.

Not to be outdone, Dad takes Making Waves for a cuppa joe at Starbucks.

I appreciate marketing savvy behind the public laughter with the book cover prominently displayed.

Next up, Making Waves goes golfing. Fore!

Wow, Dad can't even put the book down long enough to take the shot!

Impressive, no?

Well here's the cool part. My amazing agent, Michelle Wolfson, managed to get her hands on another ARC of Making Waves. We'll give it away to the reader who pledges to show the ARC the very best time. Where will you take it? What will you do for fun? Can my ARC be arrested in your state of residence?

Tell us in the comments where you plan to take the ARC. No fair making stuff up – we're going to expect photographic evidence later, so if a trip to Uranus is in your plans, you might want to consider the logistics.

(And please don't delve too deeply into that Uranus thing. Eeew.)

Leave a comment describing your plan for showing the Making Waves ARC a memorably good time. We'll pick a winner from all the comments left by noon PST on Sunday, July 10. The winner will be announced Monday, and the ARC shipped out right after that. Any questions? Fire away!

And get ready to show me a damn good time.

Um, my book. Show my book a good time. That's what I meant.

CONTEST: Win an ARC of Making Waves

Thanks so much to everyone who offered suggestions yesterday on how to handle distribution of the small handful of Advance Reading Copies (ARCs) I received for Making Waves.

My mom is touched by how many of you are looking out for her and want to make sure she gets a copy. She'd like to adopt those of you who suggested she receive an ARC, and spank those of you who didn't.

As I mentioned, I got five ARCs. The copy that went to The Debutante Ball authors won't likely make its way back to me, and I probably shouldn't ask the blog contest winner to return hers after she wrote that nice review and everything.

It did dawn on me that the copy viciously stolen by generously gifted to a friend could be un-gifted. Who needs friends anyway?

Once I wrestled the book back from my pal's evil clutches, I reviewed all your wonderful ideas for holding a blog contest. Several of you suggested asking readers to submit photo-reenactments of the book's cover, an idea I find so brilliant I want to run out and try it right now.

But I will restrain myself (rare, I know) and leave the fun to you guys.

So here's the deal:
I want you to give me your best reenactment of the cover for Making Waves. That doesn't mean you and your sweetie have to go out and risk arrest at your local boat storage facility (though I'll totally come visit you in jail if that happens). Feel free to get creative with this. You can be literal with it or do your own special interpretation of the cover art. Whatever floats your boat.

Ha! Get it?

Ahem.

Send the photographs to me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com no later than noon PST on Saturday, June 11. I'll announce a winner here on Monday, June 13.

Questions? Complaints? Throw 'em in the the comments section and I'll try to respond.

Now go out and make some waves.

Pick my title, win the book. Pretty cool, huh?

Every book I’ve ever written has a secret title.

In my mind, the three romantic comedies in my contract will always be Piratebitch, Psychicbitch, and Winebitch.

Fortunately, my mind isn’t making the important decisions around here.

There’s a lot of high-level strategy behind book titles that I don’t pretend to grasp. Lucky for me, the folks at Sourcebooks are keeping an eye on the market and taking steps to make certain we have the best title possible for my debut novel.

To ensure we have the title that’s most compelling to the most readers, Sourcebooks wants your input.

See that spiffy poll below? Which of the two titles would make YOU pick up the book and squeal with joy as you run for the cash register? (You can also squeal as you download it to your e-reader. Squealing is an integral part of any book buying experience).

In case you’re new here, this is what the book is about:
When his sleazy boss kicks him to the curb and steals his pension, Alex heads to the Caribbean with a crew of corporate castoffs to intercept an illegal diamond shipment in the most dysfunctional pirate mission in history. Things heat up when Juli – who’s supposed to be dumping her dead uncle’s ashes at sea – mistakenly stows away on their boat.

After you vote, leave a comment about why you chose the title you did. We’ll draw a name from the comments on March 31 and one lucky reader will get a signed Advance Reading Copy of the book.

Pretty cool, huh? Now here are your two choices:



Don’t forget to leave a comment about why you voted the way you did. That’s your entry to win an Advance Reading Copy of the book.

Now go forth and make history!

CONTEST: What the @#$% is that? (Hawaiian style)

I'm having a lovely time here in Hawaii, enjoying the sun, sand, and gorgeous tropical weather.

Not to rub it in for those of you knee-deep in the white stuff I vaguely remember as snow.

In the spirit of sharing a little aloha love, I've decided to hold a contest. It's been awhile since we played What the @#$% is that? and if you're new here and want to check out past games, you can go here or here or here.

Of course, readers tend to be less interested in the actual contest than in the winner selection process. You can see some of those here and here and here.

Here's the basic idea of What the @#$% is that?: I share photos of a mystery object and you take a guess what it might be. Guesses can be serious or silly, and you get one entry in the contest whether your answer is "right" or indicative of a need for serious mental health counseling.

The winner this time will receive a special gift pack of fabulous Hawaiian treats. That's a fancy way of making it sound exciting and mysterious instead of that I just haven't decided yet what the prize might be

So here we go...What the @#$% is that?
And here's a close-up so you can fully appreciate the texture and appearance.
So tell me....What the @#$% is that? Leave your guess in the comments between now and Saturday, March 12. I'll pick a winner before I leave Kauai, and will post the results early next week.

Aloha!

The day I wasn't me

I was tickled pink by the wide range of guesses you offered in yesterday’s Guess what’s weird contest.

Though the tickling made me feel warm and tingly and strangely eager to lick your neck, I’m sorry to say there was no true winner.

Some of you came close to guessing what was weird about yesterday’s post, but none of you flat out suggested the possibility that I didn't write the post at all.

The real author was regular blog commenter Simon C. Larter, who I must say, did a damn fine job impersonating me.

Confused yet?

It started with Simon pondering whether he could mimic my voice convincingly enough that blog readers wouldn’t notice the switch. I was game, and also intrigued by the experiment.

The subject of an author's voice is something near and dear to my heart. During the long, bumpy path to my current three-book deal, my agent often forwarded me comments from editors. The #1 thing they'd praise was the uniqueness of my voice.

In my first conversation with Deb Werksman (who would later become my editor at Sourcebooks) she offered the same praise.

The she slugged me in the gut. "But I can't sell voice," she pointed out.

It was the first time I'd ever heard someone suggest that, and I'll admit, I was annoyed. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she's right. You can't sell a no-name debut author based solely on voice. How do you put that on a book cover? How do you explain it to the average book buyer?

You don't. At least not without telling instead of showing, and we all know that isn't effective in writing.

That's why I started this blog. Here, I can sell voice. I'm not saying you should mail me a stack of unmarked bills (though if you have the urge, I'll give you my address). The reason I'm committed to blogging every single weekday is that it gives me a chance to show my voice. To offer free samples. If you happen to like it, there's a good chance you'll buy my books.

Oh, and lest you think Sourcebooks has no strategy for selling me, don't fret. That's why we all worked hard to refine my marketing hook – the idea that "normal is nice, but weird can be wonderful." It's at the core of all three books in my contract, and it's a lot easier to pitch from a marketing standpoint. Sourcebooks can sell that, I can sell voice, and if we happen to fail, we can sell my books out of the back of a van while a guy with a pipe-wrench stands there looking menacing.

But back to the contest. I've gotta hand it to several of you for picking up on the general idea of what was weird about yesterday's post. Sarah W pointed out the oddness of the suggestion that I might voluntarily clean, the presence of a LOLbunny, and the fact that there was no plan to choose winners based on creative random associations. All excellent observations from someone who's clearly been reading this blog closely.

Shakespeare noticed the LOLcat thing, too – for the record, I'm not really a LOLcat (or LOLbunny) kinda girl.

CKHB made another excellent observation with this: "It's the first time I think I've seen you mention a BAD consequence to drinking wine. I can't remember you previously writing about drinking to ease depression - usually you seem to drink in joy and celebration!"

Also a valid observation. In fact, I've gotten on my soapbox about not drinking when you're bummed. All jokes aside, it's something I take seriously.

Nate Wilson and Plamena Schmidt both picked up on the parenthetical heh (I'm partial to the parenthetical snicker).

I've gotta hand it to Laurie Lamb for this observation: "Is it weird how you talk about Zinfandel in this post and link to a post where Jennifer Paris (a.k.a. Jeffe Kennedy) picked Zinfandel #28 in the Petal and Thorns giveaway AND it's EXACTLY 28 weeks until your book release?"

Woah. That's a trip.

And I had to laugh about lora96's comment, "What struck me was the lack of naughtiness in the post title. I can usually count on the name of the post for a giggle."

Ironically, the headline is the only part I did write.

Those of you I just singled out for getting close, drop me an email with your address. You certainly earned the booty bag.

And can we get a round of applause for Simon? I think he did a tremendous job impersonating me for the day. Mimicking another author's voice is crazy difficult, and it's actually a great exercise for fine-tuning your own voice. Have you tried it? It's a whole lot harder than it looks.

I explained this to Pythagoras last night, pointing out what an amazing job Simon did with the impersonation.

"He really nailed me," I said.

Pythagoras looked pained. “Why do I have a feeling you’re going to use that line on the blog?”

I just did, honey. I just did.

CONTEST: Guess what's weird

While coming up with a list of 37 wine varieties for last week's Petals and Thorns giveaway, it occurred to me that unless you’re a wine snob, you’re unlikely to know a Pouilly-Fuissé from a Pedro Ximénez.

I’m guessing most wine drinkers stick to a few tried-and-true favorites like Chardonnay, or Chianti, and this is all well and good.

Then I got to thinking that, though there’s a huge market for romance novels ($1.36 billion in 2009), a great many readers won’t buy much outside their usual Danielle Steele/Nora Roberts/Diana Gabaldon comfort zone.

At which point I got a little depressed and polished off a bottle of Shiraz.

But when I woke up under the couch the next morning, I had two realizations. First, if you sleep under the couch, you wake up dusty. And second, there’s plenty of room for all of us in a $1.36 billion market.

You see, while Robert Woodbridge White Zinfandel might have near-total market penetration (heh), there’s plenty of room for a spunky (heh) little Oregonian Pinot Noir or Chilean Malbec to earn a tidy profit. The wine market, like the romance fiction market, appears to support a near-infinite number of producers and varieties.

And there’s another thing about being a small producer in a big market—you get to experiment more. The Yellow Tails and Mondavis of the world thrive on predictability. People buying them want consistently decent wine, and that’s what they’ll get. But if you’re in the market for something a bit more interesting, perhaps a Shiraz with a hint of pepper and kumquat in the finish (and if you find one of those, please let me know!), you’ll have to try a smaller winery, one that’s willing to take a chance and stand out from the crowd.

In the same way, while readers might buy a romance novel from a well-known author because they know the heroine will be in bed with the male love interest by page 75, there are people out there whose idea of a good time might be more like a round or two of Strip Battleship. That’s where I come in.

Besides, there’s nothing quite like the experience of discovering a new favorite wine novel from a small producer an up-and-coming (heh) author.

So what do you think? Are you open to experimentation in your wine choices? Your fiction choices? What kinds of things do you look for in a good wine romance novel?

While you think about it, I’ll be cleaning beneath my couch. You wouldn’t believe the size of the dust bunnies under there.

Don't forget to guess what's odd about this post!

Building writing muscles one kinky book at a time

As I suggested Monday, readers commenting here often have smarter things to say than I do.

Case in point, in response to my December 30 post about New Year’s resolutions, agent Janet Reid offered the following:

I think every writer should resolve to read more. One book that is outside their normal area of interest, or one book they've been meaning to read. Then WRITE about the book.

What they liked/what they didn't' and why. In 250 words or fewer.

I firmly believe the discipline of writing clearly and persuasively in limited space builds writing muscle.

Though I’ve always tried to pick books outside my comfort zone, I’ve never made a formal commitment to do it with any regularity (though for the record, doing it with regularity is good for your health).

Janet Reid knows a thing or two about helping writers improve (if you aren’t already following her Query Shark or her regular blog, get the hell out of here and go do it now). Taking Janet's advice, I decided to challenge myself to pick an outside-the-comfort-zone book each month.

First on the docket was Petals and Thorns by Jennifer Paris. That’s the pen name used by author Jeffe Kennedy for her erotica titles. The book is a BDSM fantasy, and if you don’t know what that means, see if you can figure it out from what appears on the first few pages:


Oh, and even better:


In other words, don’t blame the author if you damage yourself (something that seems likely if you attempt some of these maneuvers).

I’ll confess, I wasn’t sure I’d like this story. I’m no prude, and I enjoy a good erotica title from time to time. But fantasy? BDSM? It seemed like a bit much even for me.

The story totally sucked me in. Pun intended. Duh.

Want to win it? Leave a comment!

Petals and Thorns is a modern, erotica twist on Beauty and the Beast. Heavy emphasis on “twist,” by the way. The kink factor is high, and this probably isn’t the book to give your child’s kindergarten teacher as an end-of-year thank you gift.

In this version of the tale, Amarantha agrees to marry The Beast to spare her father’s life. The Beast can’t take her virginity unless she begs him to, and she only has to keep her legs together for seven days to win his fortune.

You see where this is going, right? I doubt you'll be shocked to hear Amarantha isn’t the only one begging for it by the end.

This was a fun, fast read – perfect for an evening by the fire with a glass of wine and a set of handcuffs.

I’m glad I read it, and I’m glad I’ve committed to this little outside-the-comfort-zone reading experiment.

Do you make efforts to read books you wouldn’t normally choose? Have you had positive experiences with it? Better yet, do you have any suggestions for books I should consider in the coming year? Please share!

Win! Win! Win!
Oh, and as an added enticement for you to leave a comment, Jeffe/Jennifer is giving one lucky reader his or her own digital download of Petals and Thorns. Woohoo!

Just make sure you get your doctor’s permission first.

Contest winner...plus a surprise!

Earlier this month I held a contest inviting readers to show me what they think my cover might look like for MAKING WAVES.

Since the prize was a coveted signed copy of Eileen Cook's hysterical YA novel WHAT WOULD EMMA DO, you guys pawed through your closets and dug out your most colorful, creative thinking caps. I'm delighted with the submissions!

So delighted that I can't possibly choose a winner. Even though this is just for fun and not for the real book cover, it's just too much pressure for me to handle.

For that reason, I asked Eileen Cook herself to do the honors.

Take it away, Eileen!

Thank you so much for having me as a judge for your cover contest. All of the entries were awesome, but just like Miss America, only one gets the tiara. Everyone else had a cat fight over double sided boob tape in the changing room.

My thoughts on the entries:

Option 1 from Eleven Eleven.

Option 1: Love the back tattoo. Very clever. I have to think there is a temptation to have a big X marks the spot in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

Option 2 from Mark Simpson.

Option 2: The bra on the pirate flag is a nice touch – but this one won my heart with the tag line: A dumb plan is still a plan. Could be my life motto.

Option 3 from Suz Korb.

Option 3: Great use of color and has a nice whimsy feeling to it.

Option 4 from Miranda.

Option 4: Sinking bikini top is good, love the heart bubble. Also can't beat a Nora Roberts quote.

Option 5 from Miranda.

Option 5: Very Jaws like feeling. I can hear the music in the background. The tagline here is also a winner.

Option 6 from Harley May.

Option 6: Killer photo, love the wine bottle, somewhat concerned about the woman's five o'clock shadow.

And in my humble opinion.....the winner is....(cut the tension with a knife).....

Option 1!!!

Applause! Applause!

Hey, it's Tawna again, and thank you so much to Eileen for the insightful judging and commentary. Thanks also to everyone who submitted a cover, and super-huge congratulations to regular blog reader Eleven Eleven for submitting the winning entry.

Wow, this feels a little anti-climatic, doesn't it? I mean I know we weren't picking the actual book cover here, but it still seems like we should have a group hug or at least grope each other or something.

Better yet, let's keep the contest going.

Since these entries were so lovely, it seems wrong not to have a second round of judging, this time for a Readers' Choice pick. Tell me in the comments which cover you think deserves the Readers Choice award and I'll send the winner a copy of New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Brenda Novak's romantic thriller WHITE HEAT.

While this is not a signed copy like Eileen's book, I'll go ahead and throw in a special MAKING WAVES "booty bag" for the winner. Heck, I'll throw one in for our first winner as well. I'm nice like that.

Leave a comment suggesting which entry should get the Readers' Choice award. I'll tally them up on Friday and will send out prizes after that.

Oh, and let's have a round of applause for Eileen Cook, who is not only a fabulous guest judge, but a ridiculously amazing author (as evidenced by the starred Kirkus review she just got for her upcoming January release, THE EDUCATION OF HAILEY KENDRICK (which you can pre-order right here).

Yaaaay, Eileen! Yaaaay, Eleven Eleven! Yaaaay Readers' Choice winner, whoever you are!

I need a celebratory drink, how about you?

CONTEST: Make me a cover!

As most of you know by now, I blog every Friday at The Debutante Ball, a group blog chronicling the debut year of five authors from different genres.

Since my book release is set for the last month of our blogging year, I’m a bit behind my Debutante Ball sisters with publication milestones like pre-order links and reviews.

And while I celebrated recently when another sister got her book cover, I’ll admit I was a little jealous. That officially made me the only member without one.

Hey, I’m OK with waiting. One reason I was thrilled when my agent landed me this three-book deal with Sourcebooks is that their book covers seriously rock. Never once have I looked at a Sourcebooks cover and thought, “boy that author must want to gouge her eyes out with a thumbtack.” I can’t say the same for many romance covers I’ve seen.

So I know my cover will be gorgeous when I get it.

Still, I’m curious. I decided to hire my own artist just to give me an idea what my book cover could look like. It took a little maneuvering with child labor laws, but eventually I was able to commission world-famous artist Dru Powelson (who also happens to be the 10 year old son of one of my beta readers, Minta Powelson).

After reviewing the blurb for MAKING WAVES, Dru created the following beautiful cover for my debut romantic comedy:

I’m forwarding it to my editor immediately, and I'm sure she'll be as delighted as I am.

Since tastes can differ (hey, it's like we talked about Wednesday!) I might as well have a few options available. Want to play? Draw, paint, sculpt, photograph, or make me a pudding painting depicting what you think the cover for MAKING WAVES should look like. Feel free to get your kids involved.

Though I can’t say your lovely artwork will appear anywhere besides this blog, it will give us all something to gaze at between now and the date I get my real cover.

To see what the MAKING WAVES is about, go here. To send me your masterpiece, email a PDF, GIF or JPG to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com. I’ll judge entries at noon on Saturday, November 20, so you’ve got over a week to get artsy.

The winner will get a signed copy of Eileen Cook’s YA novel WHAT WOULD EMMA DO from Simon Pulse. Eileen is one of the founding members of The Debutante Ball, and I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at a conference. Seriously, seriously hysterical. Author Meg Cabot called this book “Sassy and sly and sweet all at the same time, this book made me laugh out loud.”

Laughing is good, and so are signed books. Want it? Go forth and create! Leave any questions in the comments and I’ll do my best to answer.

Oh, and stop by The Debutante Ball today to see what book I talked about as the one that changed my life. Hint: it contains paper collage illustrations of chickens humping. What's not to love about that?

And the winner is...

You guys really outdid yourselves in the latest What the @#$% is that? contest. Seriously, I peed down my leg laughing at some of your guesses.

In case you're just tuning in, here's how the game is played: my absentminded husband leaves mystery objects lying around. I post a picture, and you guys try to guess what it is.

As I shared on Friday, this is what I found sitting on top of his toolbox:

Many of you correctly guessed those are dusters, though the mystery is clearly why Pythagoras would have 60 of them strung together thusly.

Much as I enjoy the idea that it might be some sort of sex toy, it's nothing that exciting (well, it kind of is for Pythagoras).

The dusters are actually a common training tool for slalom ski racing. No, really.

Slalom racing requires the skier to slam his or her body into a plastic gate at a high rate of speed. As you can imagine, many newer racers find this rather daunting.

The dusters, however, are not daunting. The dusters are fun, and a good way to train racers to ski the correct tactic, timing, and line without sustaining bodily harm.

They really need to develop something like that for new writers.

So now that you know the story behind the mystery object, it's time to pick a winner. The process involved collecting a large quantity of sticks on a recent hike.

Then I wrote names on the sticks.

Wow. That picture looks weird. Those are my legs, I swear – I wasn't holding the stick with my boobs (though come to think of it, that would be a good trick).

Anyway, you'll have to watch the video to find out the rest of what happened. You may have to turn up your volume to hear, since I live in the windiest freakin' place in the entire state of Oregon. Alternately, you can watch it right on You Tube since I hear the quality is better that way.

So there you have it. Congratulations to Simon C. Larter. Email me to let me know what size It's Willamette, Dammit shirt you'd like and where I should send it.

Thanks for playing, everyone!

What the @#$% is that? Tell me and WIN!

Remember last month when I announced I'd been picked as one of five debut authors to blog for the next 12 months at The Debutante Ball?

Well my very first post is up today. Go visit, OK? Pretty please? It's scary being in a new place when you don't know anyone.

To celebrate my foray into the world of The Debutante Ball, we're going to play a game that should be familiar to readers who've been visiting awhile. What the @#$% is that? was born when I decided to share some of the mystery items my absentminded husband leaves lying around the house.

In case you're new, previous games can be found here and here.

So what did I find this time? I thought you'd never ask.

I went out to the garage yesterday in search of a tape measure. Piled on top of Pythagoras' toolbox was this:

That's an item in every man's toolbox, right?

Any idea what it might be? I actually do know, though I was a lot less certain the first time I found it lying in a heap on the bedroom floor.

Give me your best guess – silly or serious – what you think it might be. I'll tally the guesses in the comments at 10 a.m. on Sunday, September 5 and will pick a winner after that.

Oh, and if you're unfamiliar with how we pick winners around here, check out this and this and this.

What does the winner get? Cue lovely spokesdel here...

Crap, there are no lovely spokesmodels available. OK, you're stuck with me:

That's right, you get your very own Willamette Valley Vineyards T-shirt, as featured in yesterday's blog post. They come in a variety of sizes and styles, so the winner can pick what he or she likes.

Ready to guess? Please tell me – What the @#$% is that?

And the winner is…(it's all about balls)

Well that was another rousing round of What the @#$% is that? with several of your guesses making me giggle, and some just making me glad you don’t know where I live.

In case you missed it, here’s the mystery object from Friday's game:
In order to identify it for you, I'll share the conversation that took place when I found the object on the kitchen counter.

Me: What is this?

Pythagoras: It’s a transverse colon.

Me: I see. And why is it on the kitchen counter?

Pythagoras: Because I had to move it to get to the pyloric sphincter.

Since that was clearly the only explanation required, he wandered outside, possibly to bury a dead body in the backyard.

For those of you who are curious, this is where the transverse colon came from:

I’d like to say the whole thing would be less weird if you knew what Pythagoras does for a living, but it really wouldn’t.

Nevertheless, it’s time to pick a winner. I’ve gotten the feeling you guys tune in more for the winner selection process than for the actual contests. If you’ve missed some of the previous ones, go here and here.

For this round, I started off by creating a list of all the entries, making sure to double up for those of you who earned extras from Thursday’s blog.

Then I gathered up a whole lot of balls.

Balls, balls, everywhere balls.

Every ball got a number that corresponded to a name on the list.

To see how things unfolded from there, you’ll have to watch the video below. You might want to turn up your sound a bit to compensate for the windy conditions and the fact that my camera sucks. Alternately, you can go straight to YouTube and watch it there, since the quality is sometimes better.

So congratulations to Danica Avet, a regular blog commenter, and author of paranormal and contemporary romance with a touch of Cajun spice! Danica, email me (address is in the sidebar at right) with your address and I’ll get your bounty of writer snacks out to you right away!

Thanks so much to all of you for playing! We’ll do it again the next time Pythagoras leaves something weird lying around the house.

Scratch that. We’ll do it again in a month or two.