It's six weeks late, but wanna come to my wedding?

It's official.

I'm one of those lame-ass bloggers who posts consistently for awhile (every weekday for 2+ years!), then cuts back to a couple posts a week, then sorta vanishes from the universe (2 months since my last post).

I notice I mentioned the number "two" three times in that last sentence, which I swear wasn't deliberate. But now that I see it, I can say that probably had a bit to do with my absence from the blogosphere. While Gweneth Paltrow was consciously uncoupling, my gentleman friend and I were consciously coupling.

Very consciously.

When two people who make a living with words decide to tie the knot, everything from the vows to the wording of the ceremony requires careful consideration.

Then you forget all the words anyway, because you're too busy chopping onions for the reception feast and hauling cedar planter boxes filled with the wedding flowers you decided to grow yourself.

In any case, our perfectly imperfect wedding was wonderful and sweet and everything we ever wanted. Since I wasn't able to invite most of you, I offer you the next best thing. If you've got 18 minutes to kill, grab a glass of champagne and sit back to watch our wedding video:


In case you're wondering, we really did kick things off with "Eye of the Tiger" preceding the ceremony. Also, that song playing when we walk down the aisle? That's my gentleman friend performing his twist on Ben Folds' "The Luckiest."

For those who hate watching videos (*raises hand*) or those who don't have 18 minutes to spare, I'll at least throw you a bone (*snicker*) with a transcript of the vows.

While we decided to write our own and did some of our initial research and brainstorming together, we opted not to share our vows with each other until the ceremony. We were surprised by how well they fit together, which seems like a good sign, don't you think?

Tawna's Vows:
Craig: I pledge to be your loving friend, paddleboarding partner, dog-walking companion, kitchen cohort, naked alarm clock, wine tasting co-pilot, and wife. I vow to always hold you in the highest regard to be a source of empathy, laughter, hot meals, and other hot stuff. I will lend you strength for your dreams, cherish your unique quirks and talents, and always remember that love means saying “I feel differently” instead of “you’re wrong.”

Cedar and Violet: I promise to continue to love you as my own family as I officially become your dad’s wife and a member of your elite parenting team. I pledge to take you out to skip rocks and squish mud between our bare toes, to float the river in the middle of a workday (though maybe not during a lightning storm this time). I vow to continue introducing you to weird foods for Fear Factor Friday, to occasionally embarrass you with boob jokes, and to do my best to make you smile at least as often as you do that for me.

Craig, I vow to never stop encouraging us to try new and strange things. I’ll spend every day of my life appreciating you for your contagious humor, your spontaneous serenades, your beautiful hands, your beautiful mind, and your beautiful heart. I will support you through the good stuff and the not-so-good stuff, through my incessant chatter in the mornings and through your need to watch cat videos on YouTube at 3 a.m. I pledge to treat you with caring, compassion, and respect, even when you curse my undisciplined dog or give me stinkeye over my neurotic need to plan and fret about every insignificant detail of our lives together (including this wedding).

Most of all, I promise to love you always. Let’s grow old disgracefully together.

Gentleman Friend's Vows:
Tawna, I take you to be nothing other than yourself, loving you for who you are and for what you add to my life and to the world at large. I choose you as my wife, in spite of your bad driving, your chronic worrying, and your incessant chatter first thing in the morning while I’m still trying to figure out who the hell you are. I offer my imperfect self to you, relying on my strengths and my love to support you and all your dreams, to respect your unique quirks and talents (and there are many), and to listen when you need to be heard… unless I’m cognitively incapable. I’ll even ask you on occasion, “Is there more?” I believe in you and I trust what our future will bring us.

I promise to remain a loving and supportive father to Cedar and Violet and your loving and supportive partner in parenthood, so we may foster a home that is compassionate to all its occupants—human, cat, dog, or pets-yet-to-be-acquired—a home full of unconditional love and jokes that make us nearly pee ourselves and/or blush. You are an outstanding role model for the kids.

I pledge to love you tirelessly through the perfect times and the lame-ass times, and through all the changes we’ll encounter, forever giving thanks that we found each other. I promise to be a source of empathy and to care for you always, even when you wake me at 6 a.m. asking for help plotting out a sex scene in one of your books. I vow to sing songs for you, wash the dishes, reach things on high shelves, and touch you with these hands.

Most of all, I promise to love you, always. I am proud to have you as my wife. I am the luckiest. Let’s grow old disgracefully together.

I could go on and on about the symbolism in our rings, or the adorable toast my 8-year-old stepdaughter surprised me with, but how about we just move on to one more piece of business?

You might have to click that to make it show up in a readable size, but yes, that's an announcement from Publisher's Marketplace about a new book deal. That's the other thing that's been keeping me kinda busy these last couple months, and will continue to do so as I scramble to make my November deadline.

So that's what's new with me. What's new in your life? Please share in the comments! And pass that champagne, will ya?