Monday, April 5, 2010

Matt the Cat picks blog contest winner

Pythagoras has today off in celebration of Dyngus Day.

I don’t know what that means either, except that my trusty spouse/research assistant was available to help with a very important task.

“Hey Pythagoras,” I said this morning. “Can I get your help today?”

He sighed. “Where are we having fake sex this time?”

“No, it’s not that at all,” I assured him. “Today we’re going to pick a winner for the blog contest I held last week.”

He was visibly relieved. “That sounds easy enough.”

I didn’t say anything. He stared at me for a few beats, waiting for me to reassure him the task was indeed quite simple.

“Well, I had this idea…”

He covered his face with his hands, knowing these words seldom bode well for him.

“OK, you know how Matt the Cat loves to fetch little pieces of rolled up paper?” I prompted. “See, I was thinking I could write all the contenders’ names on little pieces of paper – one for each entry they earned – and then we’d throw them down the hall and whoever Matt picks up first will be declared the winner.”

My husband looked at me and shook his head. “Can’t we just draw a name out of a hat like normal people?”

“Normal?” I asked, infusing the two syllables with enough disgust to imply this was my idea of a curse word.

He sighed again. “Right. I’ll go get the paper.”

So here’s how things unfolded:
First I prepared the entries, taking note of how many each contender earned.

Next I explained the rules of the game to Matt the Cat.

Then I tossed all the entries across the bridge that spans the second floor of our house.

Matt enjoyed knocking a few entries off the bridge to disqualify them.

Then he got serious and picked a winner.

Unfortunately, he ran out the cat door with the winner in his mouth.

This unexpected turn of events forced us to gather up all the entries (including the ones knocked off the bridge) and use the process of elimination to determine who was missing.

This is about the time I think Pythagoras began to seriously consider running away from home.

But we persevered, and a winner was selected. Drumroll, please...

Congratulations to Candace Ganger, aka. Candyland, aspiring YA author and creator of the hilariously funny blog  The Misadventures of Candyland.

Candace, you've won a custom, hand-carved wine bottle stopper. Though you may select any shape you wish, be sure to take a look at the blog entry that inspired this contest to see one highly desirable option.

Thanks so much to everyone who participated by citing your favorite blog entries, making suggestions for future posts, and helping promote this contest on your blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. Your support was outstanding, and I wish I had a phallic wine stopper to offer everyone.

But right now I have to make a call to the White House. I think I've stumbled upon a great way to settle all future presidential elections.


Unknown said...

Congrats Candyland!

Oh, and you do realize that Matt the Cat will be bringing home a completely different piece of paper, don't you?

Claire Dawn said...

Congrats Candyland!

Tawna, that's possibly the AWESOMEST way I've ever heard of for selecting a winner. Oo, oo, listen to this:

Hey diddle dontest
Tawna had a contest
To celebrate her new-found fame
Pythagoras groaned
At the method she chose
And the cat ran away with the name!

- Claire Dawn :)

Chantal Kirkland said...

This was really fun. Do it again!

Tammy said...

Matt the Cat is too funny! I wish my cats were as interesting. The only thing they do all day is pout! They're drama queens, or kings, since they used to be male.

Candyland said...

*Still laughing*
Just emailed you, Tawna.
Wow...Matt the Cat is my dude.
Can't wait to stop up my wine.

Unknown said...

Congrats to Candyland! Great pics, Tawna. Your cat is too hilarious!! And thanks to for including a link to Candice's blog. I love meeting new writers!

Tahereh said...


u are too too funny.

great post!!

??? said...

What a hilarious way to pick a winner. Congrats to Candyland!

LR said...

Haha so cute and funny. Congrats Candyland!

Ron Estrada said...

I think you need to verify the winner when you scoop the litter box.

Candyland said...

I never knew so many people would be so excited for another person to win a phallic wine bottle stopper...
Forgot to say, thanks for the linage:) I love new faces.


Karla, I'm kinda dreading what Matt might bring home next. I haven't seen him for a few hours, and he was in sort of a feisty mood after the contest...

Claire Dawn, OMG, falling off my chair laughing at your poem! It's brilliant! You must seek publication for it immediately.

Chantal, I'll definitely do this again in the future. I kinda like all the blog post ideas people came up with!

Tammy, the five pets we have right now (three cats, two dogs) are by far the strangest we've ever had. I don't know what it is, but there's not a normal animal in the bunch. Keeps things interesting!

Candyland, congrats on your victory! Matt expects catnip now in exchange for choosing your name.

Nicole, isn't the Candyland blog hilarious? Glad you enjoyed the Matt pics. I think he kind of enjoyed participating.

Tahereh, why thank you, my dear.

Sydnee, I probably could have made it simpler, but this was so much more fun.

LR, If you have any major life decisions you need to make, let me know. I'll put Matt on it right away.

Ron, didn't I mention it? The litterbox scooping is YOUR prize. Congratulations!

Thanks for reading, guys!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

WHAT??? You gave away my wine stopper??? Fine. I'll buy my own.

Matt the cat is adorable, btw, and did a great job picking a winner. (You have heard of, right?)

Meantime, Candyland? Enjoy yourself. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Congrats to the winner! And what a fun way to conduct a prize draw. See? That's why your blog is so popular, because it's got a such a creative author :)

Angela Ackerman said...

OMG, I so need your cat for contests! What the heck am I screwing around with random number generators for?? LOL love it!!

Cynthia Reese said...

Congrats to Candyland, and to Tawna for having such a wonderful contest assistant ... and maybe Matt the Cat is just delivering the piece of paper to the person all YOUR missing stuff ends up. Matt, you see, is running a feline swap shop.

Linda G. said...

Congrats, Candyland! I'm so glad you won. :)

Oh, who am I kidding? It shoulda been ME! Matt, you betrayed me. ME, the wannabe-president your fan club!! *sobs, bites knuckle, and other suitably melodramatic actions* (Hey, it's part of my heritage.)

kah said...

What a cute cat. And I love your house! Congrats to Candyland!

Candyland said...

Linda you made me trickle.
I heart Matt the Cat.


Debra, thanks for the tip on Way cool! But I think Matt the Cat might feel left out. Want me to put you in touch w/ the artist so you can get your own wine stopper?

Xuxana, why thank you! Love the new pic, BTW.

Angela, I'm guessing random number generators don't claw the side of your Tempurpedic mattress every morning.

Cynthia, I wouldn't put it past Matt to be running a thrift store out of our garage. He's very entrepreneurial.

Linda G, when you're done with your breakdown, let me pour you a glass of wine. First I'll have to remove MY phallic wine stopper from the top.

Karen Amanda, I'm rather fond of the cat and the house, too! Thank you!

Candyland, Matt the Cat hearts you back, obviously.


Linda G. said...

Tawna -- Oh, sure. Go ahead, rub it in. (Uh...maybe I should rephrase that...)

CKHB said...

I LOVE that you used process of elimination instead of just picking a runner-up entry. You are a woman of honor.