Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Wild monkey sex

Last Friday, regular blog commenter Mary Brebner joked about some of my past blog topics, adding "wild monkey sex" to the list.

Obviously, this sounded like a great topic to me.

I photographed the following love story pictorial a few years ago in Gibraltar. Gibraltar is a British territory at the southern end of the Iberian Peninsula, and the primary reason I wanted to visit during our month-long trek around Spain and Morocco was to see the large colony of wild Barbary Macaques living there.

That's a fancy way of saying "really big monkeys."

The monkeys did not disappoint. In fact, they were one of the best parts of that trip. The highlight of my monkey experience unfolded while I was innocently snapping pictures of a small family of monkeys spending a pleasant afternoon together. Take a look:
Mommy Monkey, Baby Monkey, and Daddy Monkey enjoy a fine afternoon together.

If you look closely, you can see evidence that Daddy Monkey is having impure thoughts.

Monkey foreplay at its finest.

Mommy Monkey and Daddy Monkey provide Baby Monkey with a little sex education.

You know, you've gotta hand it to the monkeys – they get the job done without a lot of fretting about her checkered past or his insecurities stemming from a troubled relationship with his father.

Of course, it doesn't leave you with much of a plot for a romance novel. Still, you've gotta admire the lack of inhibition.

Have you ever witnessed any amusing couplings in the animal kingdom? Do you think there's some appeal to this sort of fuss-free amorous interlude?

Please share in the comments. I'll be searching for that video I shot of the tortoises mating in Barbados. No, I'm not kidding. I'm really not.


Candyland said...

Wow. Nothing like a little monkey sex in the morning to start my day.

Génette Wood said...

Glad to see you've widened your horizons to include porn.

That being said, "Aaarrrggghhh! My eyes!"

I don't know where humans got the emotional issues that interfere with sex. I mean, we're supposedly evolved from monkeys, right? How exactly did developing emotional drama help us?

I guess it helps the writing community--there's always more than enough drama to go around.

Trisha Leigh said...

I saw sparrows having sex once. It was weird. Also, if you haven't seen the YouTube video of Andy Roddick giving an interview at a Koala sanctuary while two cuddly little creatures go at it in the background - its worth the search.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Ahhahahaha that was amazing!!! Wild Monkey sex just totally made my day!

Anonymous said...


I grew up on a farm. If I haven't seen it, I've probably seen something like it.


Sean Ferrell said...

I wish you wouldn't post pictures of me online without permission.

Summer Frey said...

I just like the baby monkey's expression in the last picture.

Unknown said...

nice...I don't think I'll ever use the words "wild monkey sex" (yes, i have used the phrase numerous times both in my writing and in real life) again with out that slideshow. Thanks. **she says sarcastically**

Now, I must go bleach the images from my retinas

Linda G. said...

LOL! (That has become the standard opening for all my comments on your blog.) As a matter of fact, I have seen some amazing animal couplings, most of them during one memorable trip to the National Zoo with my then 5-year-old nephew.

TG and I, being childless at the time ourselves, decided to take Nephew off his parents' hands for the day. What more wholesome spot than the zoo, right?

Ha! Every freaking exhibit we visited was a fornication fest. It was like the animals saw us coming, and decided to show us how it's done in the Wild Kingdom. Nephew, of course, was full of questions. We, of course, were short on answers.

We wound up telling him his mommy and daddy would explain everything to him when he got home, bought him an ice cream cone, and high-tailed it back to the subway.

Claire Dawn said...

How is it you even bring out the sexual-mindedness in monkeys?

Great photo shoot. :)

Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

Those pictures are classic! LOL

Years ago when I was a nanny, I took my two charges to the St. Louis Zoo. One of the most popular attractions was feeding time for the bears. We waited with many other adults and kids for the first group of bears to be fed. And while we watched, they decided the time was right for getting it on - complete with sound effects. The adults were all squirming and looking at each other with a "WTF do we do?" look on their faces. The little girls I was with asked me what the bears were doing. "They are playing a game," I said. Good enough for a 3 and 5 year old, thank goodness! ;)

~ M said...

I saw a pair of zebras have some fun at The Detroit Zoo a few years back. The best part was that zebras do not mate quietly. They drew quite the crowd.

Unknown said...

Oh My! I am now officially 100% awake.

Now I'm ready for my class today! I'm supposed to be having a short test and I can just see myself writing in Monkey Sex as one of the answers!!!

Delia said...

When you find the tortoise footage, will we hear you directing in the background? Like, "No, you need to go a little more to the left, you're creating a shadow," or something like that?

Melissa Gill said...

I'm a docent at my local zoo, so animal mating is pretty much a regular thing for me. The chimps are particularly entertaining. Partly becuase they do have quite a little soap opera going on within the troop.

It's always fun when kids ask me what they're doing. Usually the parents are on a cell phone or no where to be found. I usually use the "they're westling" excuse.

This is a little harder with tortoises, and they're so loud, bang bang bang. They're worse than my upstairs neighbor.

One of my favorites was when our 9 year old male oragutan and our 23 year old female hooked up. Can you call an orangutan a cougar?

I could go on like this all day.

Lynne Kelly said...

Not in person, (or is it "in animal"?), but when researching my 1st novel I watched every documentary about elephants I could find. Often they'd turn into elephant porn. Can't believe the female elephants don't run like hell when a male elephant is feeling amorous. They're about 3-5 feet long and um...S-shaped. Frightening. Horrifying.

Danica Avet said...

Oh yeah, you can SEE the impure thoughts on his face! Do you suppose she was thinking, "God, let's get this over with so I can finish watching the humans be eaten by those metal boxes"?

I'm afraid I'm rather sheltered. I haven't had the chance to see wild animals going at it. Oh wait. We had rabbits when I was a kid. I didn't realize they were a boy and a girl until I realized Midnight kept jumping on Star for no reason. I used to think "Poor Star!". When I realized what they were doing, I thought "OMG, poor Star! He's so quick on the draw!"

Unknown said...

Oh if this isn't the funniest thing! I saw the title on the Betty blog feed, and considered it a ploy to attract readers. Imagine my happy surprise! Thanks for putting a smile on my face this afternoon!

Stephanie said...

LOL! Is it wrong that I find those pics hilarious???

One day last summer we went to the zoo and OMG...don't know what was in the water that day, but everywhere we went, the animals were gettin' busy!

Gossip Cowgirl said...

Love your blog, Tawna. I gave you an award on my blog this week. You are hilarious and I always enjoy reading these posts! :-)

Liz Czukas said...

I'm not sure what impresses me more--the fact that you were able to get these pictures, or the fact that nearly everyone who commented have witness animal sex, too.

Also, the anthropologist in me wants to thank you for getting the species right. So many people get monkeys and apes mixed up. Le sigh.

- Liz

K.A. Krantz said...

I'll admit, I'm stuck on the last photo. Monkey Dude is standing on her calves.

Exactly how does that leverage work? Will it lead to a new fashion trend in fetish-wear?

Anonymous said...

I attended the Pittsburgh Children's Festival as a volunteer a few years ago. They had a popular petting zoo. Two horses/ponies -- who appeared to have been ignoring each other and were at opposite sides of the enclosure -- must've heard the call of the wild. All of a sudden one jumped on the other and they were going at it. Older kids were laughing hysterically, parents were mostly aghast (a few joined the hysterical laughter) and little kids were being dragged away left and right.

Terry Stonecrop said...

Talk about a booty call! Haha! Great pix. And who can resist the title of this post?

I've seen geckos do it a lot. They do sort of a slow tango-like standoff before mating. And, of course who hasn't seen dogs hook up?

Bring on the tortoises mating in Barbados:D

Anonymous said...

Would you like me to tell you what a joy Tawna was, to take to the zoo, when she was a youngster?

Unknown said...

Trust you to write an awesome post on wild monkey sex! Hum, I think that youngster learned something new about mommy & daddy on that field trip...

Unknown said...

AND thanks for the mention. So glad I could inspire a new post! *bows*

Unknown said...

To me, nothing is funnier than turtle sex. If you haven't seen it before, check out this amazing picture:

You're welcome ;)

Jessica Lemmon said...

I LOVE THIS BLOG! If only for the fact that the comments are oft as hiliarous as the post!


Candyland, indeed, every day should start with monkey sex.

LadyGenette, I have to confess, it's a pet peeve of mine when romance novels turn sex into this all-consuming emotional meltdown of an issue. I know it's that way for some people, but it just isn't what I like to read about.

Trisha, I think I've seen that koala video! I'll have to go look for it again, thanks.

Frankie Diane, make sure you announce that to everyone you meet today: "wild monkey sex made my day."

shadowflame, why aren't you regularly tweeting farm animal humping pics? You've got a hot commodity there!

Sean, you really should consider shaving your back more often.

Summer, no kidding, I have about 10 more pics of the baby monkey peering at them from different angles. That was the best part.

Karla, you know you just printed those pics out and posted them on your wall :)

Linda G, LOL on the "fornication fest!"

Claire Dawn, I need a t-shirt that says "I make monkeys hump."

Elizabeth Flora Ross, I suppose you weren't too far off with the game explanation!

M, I would very much like to see/hear zebra mating! I'm putting that on my bucket list.

Matthew, you'll have to report back on whether you did, in fact, write "monkey sex" (and more importantly, if it was the correct answer).

Delia, you'll hear me giggling for sure, but the funniest part of the tortoise footage is the sounds THEY made. Truly one of the most hysterical things I've ever heard.

Melissa, I'm totally cracking up at the idea of an orangutan cougar!

Lynn, I hear there's a real market for elephant porn!

Danica, my mom used to take us to the duck pond and likes to recall the time the ducks started mating and I started screaming, "stop it! You're hurting her!"

Stormy, I like how some people were actually afraid to click the link and some people considered the title the biggest reason to click :)

Stephanie, I find them hilarious, too. In fact, I like to keep them handy for when I'm having a glum day.

Rebecca, aw, thanks! I'll have to go check it out.

Liz, funny thing, on Gibraltar they all refer to them as "rock apes," but our travel guide made sure to point out that's a misnomer.

KAK, she didn't seem to complain too much, so I guess he liked it :)

Anonymous 1, why don't I ever get to witness animal orgies like that?

Terry, I shall save the tortoises for a very special occasion!

Anonymous 2 (or should I say MOM?!), you know you liked it.

Mary, everyone owes you big time for this inspiration!

Lynda, please tell me you have video of this. Please?

Jessica, I should start a collection of pictures just like this!

Dr. Goose, both no, I'm afraid! :)

Jessica, no kidding, the readers of this blog are infinitely funnier than I am!

Thanks for reading, guys!

Kadi Easley said...

Damn, late to the party. This remodel has got to get done soon, I'm missing all the fun.

My son and I went to the San Diego Zoo and every time we stopped to look at turtles they were having wild, okay, slow motion, turtle sex. Of course son had the camera so I have dozens of pictures of turtle sex.

Unknown said...

This post is a riot, but the comments are hilarious. A masturbating turtle? OMG- too funny!

Patty Blount said...

Um, is it just me or is this poor monkey not very well endowed?

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I’ve meant to post about something like this on my webpage and you gave me an idea. Cheers..