Friday, January 27, 2012

Did I forget my pants?

Do you ever have that dream where you show up to work and discover you've forgotten your pants?

I love that dream.

OK, truthfully, I've never had it. That's probably because running around naked in public doesn't crack the top 100 on my list of things I fear. Then again, my most common recurring dream is one where all my teeth fall out. Does that point to some deeply held dental phobia?

Now I'm thinking about running around with no pants and no teeth and wondering if this would be a really excellent concept for a sci-fi movie, and I've totally forgotten the point of this blog post.

Which was supposed to be that even though I don't live in fear of forgetting my pants, I do often jolt awake at midnight thinking, did I forget to blog?

I did. Sort of. It's not the middle of the night – it's actually only 5:20 p.m. – but I'm dashing off to book club for a late night of drinking too much wine discussing literary theology, and I just remembered I haven't scheduled a post for tomorrow. Since I have a longstanding policy of never blogging after drinking too much wine discussing literary theology, I'm coming up empty handed.

There's a filthy joke in there somewhere with that last line, so feel free to make it. Or feel free to share your weirdest recurring dream, particularly if it's about lost pants or missing teeth or maybe a gargoyle who eats a baloney sandwich before donning a purple tutu and winning the Portland Marathon.

Because that would be cool.

This might be the worst post ever.


Dani said...

Oh, how I love your pants, I mean posts! However, I do have both of those dreams. Except I’m back in school when I don’t have my pants on, which I’ve woken up in cold sweats over. And I’ve had the dream when my teeth fall out. BUT the dreams I have that tick me off the most is when I’m in a fight club and no matter how hard I swing, I barely knick the person and they laugh. Frustrating! Hope you had fun at your book club.

Laina said...

The only recurring dreams I have are the ones about bathrooms (don't ask) and the one where I live in a house with a hundred beds and I can't decide where to sleep.

Although I've had one a couple times where I've gone to the library to do Storytime and forgotten to read the books. Not forgot them at home or anything. Just forgot to read them.

Um. Yeah. Like that could happen :P

Author R. Mac Wheeler said...

Not to worry.

Your worst post ever still entertains me more than the average blogger out there.

LynnRush said...

Oh, but it's one of the funniest!!!!! :)

Matthew MacNish said...

I've got nothing.

Patty Blount said...

No pants, missing teeth and drinking too much? This sounds like a Jeff Somers novel! :)

Heather said...

Relax. I love, love, love your blog. Granted, not as much as my vibrating toys, but you get the idea:)

German Chocolate Betty said...

"Since I have a longstanding policy of never blogging after drinking too much wine..."

Ummmm, and I think I speak for many of us who regularly visit your blog, we would actually LOVE to see a blog from you after a drinking too much, er, I mean, discussing too much literary theology.

I mean, if your mind is this twisted sober, what would get get from a snockered Tawna, eh??

(The mind boggles...)

midnightblooms said...

I don't remember ever dreaming about walking around naked or half-clothed, or if I was, it didn't bother me in the dream. I do dream a lot (dream alot!) about falling (a phobia of mine) from various places: cliffs, rooftops, down stairs, off the bed, etc.

(I want a dream alot...with a little sleep hat and teddy bear and her dreams painted all over her...)

Unknown said...

I have dreamt many dreams about showing up without pants, but in my weirdest dream I'm having picnic with my family. At a table at the playground of my old elementary school. Then two mooses appear, I tell everyone to run to the car because they're going to attack (no idea how I know this). They attack, we run. Everyone gets into the car - safe from me. I fall, and I can't get up. And those mooses get closer and closer.

Then I wake up. Strangely, I'm not the slightest scared of mooses in real life. I met them often enough when riding to be blasé by now. But yeah, had that dream twice and got equally freaked out the second time.

Mandy Allen said...

I used to have a reoccurring nightmare about being attacked by squirrels.... they would scamper up my arms, sink their teeth in and not let go... Yup, totally random and strange... thanks, I've already been told.

Brandi Guthrie said...

Dream Moods has an interesting (and slightly depressing) take on why you might be having teeth dreams:

I've had teeth dreams before, as well as ones where I'm charged with saving the world (and I usually succeed) and ones where my brakes don't work.

Dreams are vastly entertaining and weird. :)

Anonymous said...

"Pants" means "knickers" over here.

Kari Lynn Dell said...

I've been told the teeth falling out dream is a sign of repressed rage. I'm pretty sure the person who told me knew what she was talking about, she worked for a dentist she would happily have murdered.

As for all time favorites: Last week I dreamed I was in the shower having sex with Ryan Gosling. And yes, it was a very DETAILED dream. And then my mother walked in.

Luckily I have a mental health professional right there in my clinic.

Tammy said...

Funny stuff. When you're a blogger, forgetting to blog is like forgetting to do your homework. The excuse "the dog ate it" won't cover it. Hope you had your fill of literary discussions. It's good for the soul (and not bad the love life either). Happy to have stopped in.

ak said...

I seem to have a recurring day dream/hallucination of forgetting to wear my pants when I happen to hear giggling girls walking past me!!!

and I tend to look down, did I forget my pants. thank goodness they are there.

should be some deep set childhood memory, can't figure it out.