Friday, February 17, 2012

What makes me drool

If you’ve read Making Waves, you probably have an inkling I’m rather fond of food. I drooled every time I wrote about one of Cookie’s gourmet meals.

If you’ve read the first episode of my new “active fiction” title from Coliloquy, you know Getting Dumped seals the deal. It’s true, I am a food whore.

Many of the dishes described in Getting Dumped are real menu items from my personal repertoire. For those who’ve been asking, here’s one of my favorites described in the story:

Cranberry Pork Roast in the Crockpot

  • 2-3 pound pork roast (I buy the three-packs at Costco and freeze ‘em)
  • 1 16-ounce can of whole berry cranberry sauce
  • 1 tsp stone ground mustard
  • ¾ cup orange juice (I’ve also used cranberry or apple in a pinch)
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • ½ tsp ground cloves
  • 1 pinch ground orange peel (optional)
  • Salt & pepper to taste

Throw the roast in your Crockpot. Mix up all the other crap and dump it over the roast. Turn your Crockpot on low and retreat to the bedroom with someone naked to spend the next eight or nine hours doing something more fun than cooking.

Or go to work. Whatever.

Come home, stab the roast with a fork, and pull it out of the pot. Don’t be surprised if it shreds to pieces because it’s so tender. If the liquid left in your Crockpot is bubbling a bit, mix up about a tablespoon of cornstarch and a tablespoon of water until the cornstarch is all dissolved. You can use flour if you prefer, but mix it in a separate dish or you’ll make a gloppy mess. When the mixture is pasty, dump it in the bubbling liquid.

If your liquid wasn’t bubbling to start with, make it bubble. Like in a saucepan, not in your hot tub. That would be weird. Then add the cornstarch or flour mix. The object is to thicken it up so it’s a nice, tasty sauce.

When you’ve got that ready, shred your pork with a couple forks and throw it back in t he sauce. Serve. It’s terrific with rosemary garlic mashed potatoes and a nice salad.

Bon Appétit!

Oh, and the first episode of Getting Dumped is on sale at Amazon for $1.99 right now. Snag it while it’s cheap!


Noelle Pierce said...

Ohmigoodbar, this sounds awesome! I will definitely try this. Thank you!

(I'm a food whore, too, which is probably why my diets fail so often. :D)

Linda G. said...

Yum! TG does a melt-in-your-mouth (heh-heh) Crockpot pork roast, too, but he hasn't tried it with cranberries. I'll suggest your recipe to him.

Matthew MacNish said...

This would make great sandwiches, like BBQ pulled pork.

Sierra said...

Just so you know, if you write all your recipes down like this, I will buy any cookbook you put together. ;)

Seriously, though. Tasty + cracks me up = here's my money.

Kimberly Sabatini said...

This sounds great but all the food in the book made my mouth water!

Patrick Alan said...

I love my crockpot, but have never figured out how to make the bubbling liquid into the gravy. It kept making a mess in my hot tub.

I make a mean crockpot chili. Brown 1-2 lbs of ground beef. Dump in a pre-diced package of mixed peppers and a package of pre-diced onions. My grocery store has these and it makes life easy. Add a drained can of petite diced basil-oregano tomatoes, a drained can of red beans and a can of tomato paste. Shake a can of chili powder over it until you decide to stop. Then shake it two more times. Add lots of garlic & herb Mrs. Dash too. I add that to everything...

Cook on low for 8 hours.

I once swapped in a pound of lentils for the beef to make a vegetarian version.

Kendra said...

Yum just tried this...heaven!