Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A plethora of perversion at the video arcade

I'll admit that with many previous installments of my regular feature, Garage Porn, I've deliberately gone looking for the naughty innuendos. It's true they're not hard (I said hard) to find on the aisles of Home Depot, the grocery store, or even my own garage.

But most of the time I'm on the lookout for it.

That's why it's especially funny when I stumble upon unintentional dirty humor in places I'm not expecting it. You'd think a visit to the local video arcade with my gentleman friend and his young offspring would be an innocent endeavor.

You would be wrong.

Check out some of the things that had me snickering Saturday night (discretely, of course...yes, Mom, I'm being a good influence. Mostly).

The name of this arcade game was bad enough. The fact that playing it required a sort of bizarre pumping motion was enough to force me to walk away, lest I fall to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.
With this game, you get a bonus for making it into the center slot. Shouldn't that just be expected?

I had to circle this air hockey table half-a-dozen times before I figured out "Fast Rack" was the unfortunate result of poor typography placement and a missing "T," as opposed to the expected result of playing it enthusiastically without a sports bra.
Everyone walking away from this game seemed sweaty and disheveled. I'm a little bummed I'd run out of game tokens by then, as I was forced to seek my raw thrills elsewhere.

It was admittedly funnier when I misread it with an extra "e" in the last word. Even without the typo, it still seems like an inappropriate name for a game marketed to pre-pubescent kids.

Seen any good unintentional dirty humor lately? Please share?

And can someone spot me an extra quarter? I'll pay you back, I swear.


Dani said...

"Dog Pounder" The title alone leave much to the imagination. And I read it "slam-a-(you know) as well.

Linda G. said...


Unknown said...

I've only seen the interview I told you about on Twitter. I'm still learning - if it wasn't for you I'd notice no innuendos at all...

Sarah Allen said...

I totally read an extra 'e' in that last one too! Still funny...and terrible. :)

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

Caryn Caldwell said...

How funny! I'm always reading innuendos into things, too. And things for children are the worst for that!