Fulfilling my promise to lift my shirt for you

OK, everyone – offer me either your right hand or your backside.

High fives and butt pats all around, because we won the Sourcebooks #ebookbracket Twitter challenge!

From a field of eight Sourcebooks authors who all have a strong social media presence and at least two published novels, Making Waves somehow emerged victorious with the highest number of tweeted votes during the one-week contest period. Thanks to you guys, the eBook version of Making Waves will be priced at just 99-cents April 3-9.

I couldn't have done it without your support, and I'm HUGELY grateful to those of you who tweeted your little hearts out and made it happen..

And now, I'll hold up my end of the bargain (along with the hem of my shirt).

I promised last week that if we won the #ebookbracket challenge, I'd show you my new tattoo. It's a 3.5-inch starfish inked on the left side of my ribcage, and I got it last Wednesday after nearly two decades of contemplating some sort of body art.

It's my first tattoo, and though I generally have a high tolerance for pain, I'll confess right now it hurt like a sonofabitch. Note to self: Next time (if there is a next time) pick a nice, fleshy spot like a butt cheek or a boob.

Here are a couple photos:


Why a starfish? Quite a few reasons, actually.

• I've had a fondness for stars of the astral variety my whole life. Each year, my birthday coincides with the peak of the Perseids meteor shower, which may have something to with that fixation. Many of my favorite poems have star themes, including Walt Whitman's "When I Heard the Learn'd Astronomer," Robin Schecter's "Venus, or Maybe Mercury," and "Decembrum," by Wallace Stephens.
• My parents grew up and met on the Oregon coast. Since my grandparents remained there through most of my childhood, I spent a lot of time poking around in tidepools and contemplating a career as a marine biologist. As a globetrotting adult, I gravitated toward destinations with great snorkeling and marine life, like Fiji, Jamaica, Hawaii, Mexico, Barbados, and Australia's Great Barrier reef (the birthplace of my debut novel, Making Waves). Since my parents retired, they've spent part of each year on the Hawaiian island of Kauai, which is where they summoned me last year when I was on the brink of divorce and in urgent need of love and support.
• I've always admired the regenerative properties of starfish. Most varieties can regrow an arm that's been torn off, and some (like the Linckia starfish commonly found in Hawaii) can regrow an entire starfish from a single severed arm.
• Every writer has moments of feeling the pursuit is futile and no one really cares what we have to say. Years ago, someone shared an excerpt from Loren Eiseley's "The Star Thrower" (commonly known as "The Starfish Story") and it's the thing I always repeat to myself at times like that. The gist of the story is that a man was walking along a beach littered with starfish that had been washed up by the tide. As he walked, he spotted a boy picking up starfish and throwing them into the ocean one by one. "What on earth are you doing?" the man asked. "Helping the starfish," replied the boy as he picked up another. "If they don't make it back into the water, they'll die." The man shook his head. "There are thousands of starfish and dozens of miles of beach here. You can't possibly make a difference." The boy bent down and picked up another starfish. Tossing it into the ocean, he turned and smiled at the man. "I made a difference for that one." Cheesy? A little bit. But on those inevitable rough days in my writing career, I can't tell you how amazing it is to get an email or blog comment saying, "You made me laugh on a day I really needed to, so thank you."

And thank you, dear readers, for all your comments, tweets, emails, Amazon reviews, Facebook posts, and telepathic butt pats. These last couple years have been a wild and crazy ride, and I'm damn lucky to have had you all in it with me.

You get free books, I get a Turkish prison stay

Between all the voting for the Sourcebooks #ebookbracket competition and the voting we've had going for our little caption contest, I'm feeling a bit like a politician. Maybe I should do something inappropriate with a cigar.

Though you still have 'til 1 p.m. CST Friday to tweet your votes for Making Waves in the #ebookbracket challenge on Twitter, now's the time to announce the winner in our caption contest.

Drumroll please?

Congratulations to Jennie Shaw, who did such an impressive job campaigning for votes that I'm a little concerned for her health. Nice work, Jennie! Send your snail mail address to me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com, and I'll hook you up with your prize pack that includes signed copies of Believe it or Not and Making Waves, as well as a whole buncha bookmarks.

I feel a little bad sending our second-place competitor away with nothing, and since Rhonda Hopkins got pretty darn close with her vote collection, I'd like to offer her the choice of a signed copy of Making Waves or a signed copy of Believe it or Not. Take yer pick, Rhonda, and email me with your snail mail address. I'll even throw in a few bookmarks for good measure (and if any of the other three competitors want bookmarks, shoot me your email as well!)

Thanks so much to all of you who voted, submitted entries, or just lurked around and snickered. That was fun!

On an unrelated note, I just learned Turkish rights have been sold for both Believe it or Not and Making Waves. I'm awaiting word on whether that comes with a free flight to Turkey and a complimentary day at a luxury Turkish bath, but I'd settle for a couple hours in a Turkish prison with three strapping young men and a bottle of good wine. 

Harika bir haber, teşekkür ederiz!

That either means "great news, thank you!" or "please hold my wombat while I admire the handcuffs." Whatever.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I could have posted this from jail

The problem with prepping for your day in a darkened bathroom is that you end up brushing your teeth with zit cream.

I really wish I was joking.

I normally write blog posts the night before and set them to go live the next morning so I'm not scrambling to do it when I wake up. The fact that I failed to do so last night can be attributed to an evening spent getting a tattoo and bailing a friend out of jail.

I really wish I was joking about one of those things, and fortunately, it isn't the tattoo. I'm thinking I should probably join a gang next, so if any of you have recommendations, I'm all ears.

Luckily, I woke this morning to find an awesome message from the Sourcebooks publicist. It gives me the perfect excuse for a blog post, so I'm sharing it here:

Good Morning Authors!

 

I’m excited to tell you that you are in the eBook Bracket Challenge Championship Round—congrats! So it’s time to rally your fans for another day and a half—this round ends at NOON on March 30 (we have to end it a little bit early, so we can alert our e-Retailer partners ASAP about the change in price for April 3). As with the last round, the eBook Bracket page will be updated right at 9am, and I have a tweet going out to get things started at 9, too, but please wait until 9:03ish to tweet it out to your readers!

 

The winner will be announced via Twitter, updated on the eBook Bracket landing page, and on the Sourcebooks Buzz blog at 5pm CST. Good luck to you both!

 

Thank you very much for all of your tweeting over the last week! I think this has been a lot of fun and a great way to promote your backlist titles.

 

I'm thrilled to bits, but I can't take credit for any of it. You guys with your #ebookbracket tweeting over the last four days have made it all possible, so THANK YOU!

As you just read, we've got another 36 hours to go, and a good shot at having Making Waves voted in as the title to be priced for 99-cents April 3-9. Those of you who've been kind enough to tweet a time or two, please, pretty please, fire off a couple more using the hashtag #ebookbracket, my twitter handle (@tawnafenke) and a vote for Making Waves. I sure do appreciate it!

And in case this is an incentive to any of you, I pledge to show you my new tattoo on Monday if we win the #ebookbracket challenge. In the meantime, feel free to guess what it is and where it is.

And thanks again for all your support!

On success, disappointment, and star-nosed moles

Many moons ago when I was a young and innocent pup, I thought a book deal would mean the end of writing-related disappointments.

My fantasy may have also included confetti and foot rubs from George Clooney, and it’s possible I cleared storage space in my garage for fan mail.

Fast forward a decade or so, I’ve learned some lessons along the way (not the least of which is that you should buy D-batteries in bulk before hosting a Pure Romance party, but I digress).

My road to publication was a bumpy one, and I’d be lying if I claimed everything’s been smooth sailing since then. Some setbacks I can’t really discuss publicly, but others I can share (albeit, with a touch of shame – an unfamiliar emotion for me, but I digress again).

The RITA awards are the Romance Writers of America equivalent of the Oscars. My publisher sent Making Waves for consideration, and though I tried not to think about it, I wanted urgently, desperately to be a finalist. I mentioned it to almost no one, and avoided watching the calendar for the date they pledged to notify contestants.

The date was Monday. Sadly, my name didn’t appear on the list of finalists.

It didn’t crush me. It didn’t ruin my day. It didn’t send me weeping into my closet where I huddled in the dark eating Girl Scout cookies and rocking back and forth humming “I’m a Little Teapot.”

Still, I’ll confess I felt stung for an instant.

Then I got mad at myself for feeling stung, because AREYOUKIDDINGMEBITCH?

Once I stopped slamming my head on my desk, I tallied my good fortune. I have my health. I have amazing friends and family, and the best agent on the planet. I have an incredible gentleman friend who makes me smile for reasons that don’t all involve being naked. I’ve published three books to embarrassingly positive reviews, including a nomination for “Contemporary Romance of the Year” from the RT Book Reviews 2011 Reviewers Choice Awards.

I’m damn lucky, and I know it.

But does that mean I’m not allowed to feel tinges of disappointment over setbacks? I’m not sure.

A critique partner once gave me a terrific piece of advice:

Someone else’s success does not detract from yours.

That’s absolutely correct, and something I remind myself whenever the green-eyed monster appears.

And yet…and yet…sometimes, that’s not entirely true.

There can only be a limited number of RITA finalists, and if every single contender in my category was eaten by a star-nosed mole, I would be the winner. The fact that my competitors all survived mole attacks means they emerged victorious and I….well, I didn’t get eaten by a mole. That’s something.

Hello, I'm a star-nosed mole.

Here’s something else: I told you Monday about the friendly Twitter competition my publisher arranged using the #ebookbracket hashtag and a plea for readers to vote which book will be sale-priced for 99-cents in early April.

For the first round, eight of us were paired off by genre. My competitor in the Contemporary category was an amazing author with USA Today bestseller status, two million books in print in more than 20 countries, three Maggie Award of Excellence finals, a Bookseller’s Best win, and five RITA nominations – one of which she nabbed Monday morning.

In other words, she rocks (and I can attest to that personally since I've read and loved her books).

The #ebookbracket challenge from Sourcebooks.
Please keep voting for Making Waves!

But through some bizarre stroke of good fortune, I managed to land more Twitter votes in our publisher’s #ebookbracket challenge. That sent me through to the final four (which ends March 28 at 4 p.m. CST, and you can vote as many times as you want, so please, pretty please, tweet a vote for Making Waves using the hashtag #ebookbracket and my Twitter handle, @tawnafenske…er, I digress again).

While I doubt my competitor would trade my victory for hers, there’s really no point in comparing. I had a flutter of success, and I’m happy about it. Period.

That stands by itself no matter what other successes or failures might come to any of us. For me, it’s important to celebrate my own victories, while graciously tipping my hat to the ones that go to other people.

Do you pay much attention to the successes and failures of others? How does that impact your overall attitude about yourself? Do you think someone is more or less entitled to feel disappointed, depending on the successes he/she has? Please share!

And please, pretty please, tweet your little hearts out in the #ebookbracket challenge (a link to complete rules can be found here). Thanks a ton for your support so far!

Caption contest top 5: Now it's your turn to vote!

Holy cow! When I asked you guys to write a caption for a chance to win a prize, you took me seriously!

Or humorously, depending on how you look at it.

I had a tough time picking five finalists, but with a little help from my gentleman friend (and perhaps a pet or two) we managed to narrow it down.

Now, it's your turn to pick a winner. Post your vote in the comments by 5 p.m. PST on Thursday, March 29. If your entry is one of the five finalists shown here, feel free to lobby for votes via Facebook, Twitter, your own blog, or by offering sexual favors to other readers by explaining clearly and professionally why you deserve to win.

The winner will receive:

1. A signed copy of Making Waves
2. A signed copy of Believe it or Not
3. A dozen handy bookmarks emblazoned with all sorts of fun details about both books.

Now here are the entries:

Now you see why I had trouble picking! Aren't those awesome?

Choose your favorite and cast your vote in the comments. And thanks to everyone who participated. You guys rock!

Awkward interview questions & a plea for tweets

Five years ago when I interviewed for a position as a marketing director, the company owner asked me to tell a joke. Eschewing rules that say never to discuss sex or politics in a job interview, I told a dirty joke with a political twist.

They hired me the same day.

That incident stayed at the top of my "weirdest interview question" list until 18 months ago when I applied for my current day job. Things were winding down in my second interview, when the CEO threw me for a loop.

"Are you a competitive person?"

It seemed like a trick question. Did they want me to be competitive because it indicates a certain drive to succeed, or would a lack of competitive nature make for a better fit in a team environment?

I settled for a truthful answer: "I have a natural urge to work hard and be my best, but I don't feel the need to defeat anyone else to achieve that."

Though I ended up getting the job, I'm still perplexed by the question. Honestly, the word "competitive" has a negative connotation in my mind. It conjures images of office-mates elbowing each other in the groin to get to the copy machine.

But I do want to succeed, both in the day job realm and in my writing career.

Which is why I feel a little awkward asking the Twitter users among you to vote for me in a special eBook contest organized by my publisher. The complete contest rules are here, including a breakdown of dates and brackets and who I'll be competing against in this friendly challenge.

If you're lazy like me and don't feel like reading the details, the gist of it is that you need to tweet using the hashtag #ebookbracket and a message that you want to vote for Making Waves. If you throw my Twitter handle into the mix (@tawnafenske) that would be even more awesome.

The author who racks up the most votes will have the eBook version of his/her title priced at 99-cents the first week in April.

On the surface, it seems a little silly. Why would I care if my book goes on sale? Aside from the fact that I love being cheap and easy, it's a great way to gain exposure. Readers are more willing to take a gamble on a sale-priced book from an author they don't know. If they like Making Waves, there's a good chance they'll try my other titles, Believe it or Not and Getting Dumped).

So if you have a Twitter account and a couple minutes to spare, would you mind tweeting your vote for Making Waves using the #ebookbracket hashtag? Thank you!

In the meantime, what's the most awkward interview question you've ever faced? How did you handle it? Please share!

I'll leave you with the best interview exchange I've ever heard about (which may or may not be an urban legend, but I still enjoy repeating it because it always makes me laugh):

Interviewer: How often do you masturbate?

Interviewee: Not as often as I deserve.

Write a caption, win an awesome prize pack!

Sunday morning, I was scrambling frantically to pack for a three-day conference. When I dashed through the office to grab my laptop, I was surprised to discover it already in use:

Those of you who've read Getting Dumped know Blue Cat is a character in the story. Those who've read this blog for awhile know he's my real-life pet, and that his massive size makes him a less-than-ideal guest on my laptop. Not only had he typed an impressive string of letters with his hefty gut, he'd knocked my full cup of water to the floor.

Luckily, the floor is tile and the cup is silicone (if you have pets or children and don't own a cupboard full of Silipints, go buy some now. Seriously).

Suffice it to say, I wasn't keen on having an 18-pound cat decide my laptop is his new favorite nap spot.

Which is why I was doubly unimpressed to return from my lunch break yesterday to discover this:

Not one, but two cats have now decided my workspace makes a delightful hangout. I should point out that Matt the Cat looked up only briefly for this photo op, and then resumed gnawing on the arm of my office chair.

Not to be outdone, Blue Cat had his furry butthole parked squarely on a copy of Believe it or Not, while his "I'm annoyed with you" tail twitches knocked pages of my editor's notes from Getting Dumped episode #2 to the floor.

Helpful little bastards.

But there is a point to all this, which is to tell you about a contest that will allow one lucky winner to snag the following:

1. A signed copy of Making Waves
2. A signed copy of Believe it or Not
3. A dozen handy bookmarks emblazoned with all sorts of fun details about both books.

You'll recall I asked you guys to come up with an idea for a contest giving away the aforementioned goodies. I perused all the entries, and was most smitten with this one:

jeanette8042 said...

You could take a funny or regular pic of your pets and the books and ask readers to make funny caption.

Splendid idea! Jeanette, send your snail mail address to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com, and I'll send you a signed copy of Believe it or Not for coming up with a good plan for the contest!

As for the rest of you, here are the rules:

Write a caption for the photo featuring Blue Cat and Matt the Cat. Post it in the comments by noon PST on Monday, March 25. On Tuesday, March 26, I'll post my top five favorites.

Then I'll open it up to you guys to vote. You'll be free to lobby for votes via Facebook, Twitter, your own blog, or by offering sexual favors to other readers by explaining clearly and professionally why you deserve to win.

I'll tally the votes after that, and will announce the winner. Sound good?

Now go forth and caption! Here's that photo again:

Does spanking count as bullying?

I was a bit of a tomboy as a kid, and began seventh grade with a hairstyle that might politely be called a pixie.

It might also be called a buzz cut.

The middle school sharks circled the first week of school, and before I knew it, kids were teasing me for looking like a boy.

As you might imagine, that novelty wore off in a hurry.

If you've met me in person in the last 20 years, you're probably snickering right now. I've grown long hair and comically big boobs (the latter, ironically, also became a source of teasing). The risk I'll be mistaken for a boy these days is about the same as the risk I'll be mistaken for a screaming hairy armadillo.

Yet there are mornings I get dressed and think, "I shouldn't wear that top, it'll make me look like a boy."

And then I go outside and slam my head in the car door until I stop being an idiot.

Jokes aside, it's staggering to me how long childhood taunting and bullying sticks with you. That's one reason I agreed to be part of writer Candace Ganger's End. It. Now. project.

You can read about her experiences with bullying, and learn how you can help here.

You can also check out this awesome video she made with some assistance from other writer pals:


My gentleman friend helped film my segments last weekend (a daunting task when I misread my required line, "end the loneliness" as "feed the lioness" and couldn't keep a straight face after that).

I was curious what his offspring knew of bullying, so I asked both of them if they'd learned anything about it in school.

They assured me they had.

"If it happens once, it's just someone being mean," explained the 10-year-old. "If it happens again, it's bullying."

They told me more about how to identify if I'm being bullied and what I should do if I encounter a bully. In the end, I felt pretty well-equipped to deal with any bullies that might come my way.

Then their dad gave me a light smack on the butt while we made dinner. I turned to the kids with a practiced look of indignation.

"Did you see that?" I demanded. "He's bullying me!"

The 10-year-old shook his head. "Not unless he spanked you yesterday, too." 

Right. Er, now might be a good time to end this conversation.

Seriously though, be sure to check out The Misadventures in Candyland to learn more about how you can stop actual bullying through the End. It. Now. project. She offers oodles of ways you can help, including Signing the petition, Downloading conversation cards about bullying, Downloading information on how to talk about bullying, Sharing the video, and much more.

Have you ever been bullied? How has it impacted you as an adult? Please share.

I'm going to go see if my gentleman friend is up for a bit of bullying.

USA Today doesn't know I smell bad

I'm home from the conference I attended for my day job, and feeling like a well-wrung dishrag covered with bits of food and coffee grounds.

Great, now you think I smell bad.

I'm pretty sure I don't, but you might not want to sit too close, just in case.

At any rate, I'll be back to my regular blog posting schedule momentarily. In the meantime, I wanted to share a super fun interview I just did for USA Today.

I love how that makes me sound like a cool author instead of just like a worn-out marketing geek who may or may not have body odor issues.

Anyway, check out the link, and come back tomorrow when I'll be posting something fresh and new and (hopefully) not too stinky.

Thanks for your patience!

At least she didn't find the skeletons in there

I'm scheduled to spend the next three days in Portland attending a conference for the day job.

It's the first time I'm revisiting the setting of Believe it or Not since the book's release, so that's exciting.

It's also an occasion that requires me to dress like a grown-up, which isn't nearly as exciting.

Saturday night, I asked my gentleman friend's six-year-old to assist me in choosing outfits for my business trip. She had a fine time perusing the contents of my large walk-in closet before selecting the following ensemble for me to wear to a Sunday evening awards banquet:

Note the matching red shoes and perhaps slightly less matching purple bra (paired with matching purple panties, so I'll give her that one).

I'm charmed by the attention to detail and the colorful nature of the ensemble. I'm also a little perplexed to discover these things in my closet in the first place.

I acquired the skirt while on vacation in Fiji six years ago. To the best of my recollection, I haven't worn it since that summer. The top is a more recent purchase, though it hasn't emerged from the closet since last spring (partly due to the fact that unless I safety-pin the neckline, I show more cleavage than a half-price hooker).

I've cleaned my closet numerous times in the last year alone, hauling boxes and bags full of clothing to Goodwill. I always thought I was being pretty ruthless.

But it took someone else – a six-year-old, no less – wandering through my wardrobe to make me realize I'd actually missed quite a lot.

I can't think of a more perfect metaphor for why all writers need good critique partners. No matter what the age, background, or skill level of the person reading your work, he or she will always catch things you missed. Always. You can choose to disagree with the observations or ignore the feedback, but if nothing else, the input will give you a fresh look at your prose.

Or wardrobe, as the case may be. I'm half tempted to pack the outfit, just to make me smile over the next few days.

Have you ever discovered something in your closet or your writing that surprised or disturbed you? Please share!

Oh, and speaking of the Portland conference, I suspect I may be a little tied up with day job stuff for the next few days. That means posting to the blog may be a challenge, so I'm going to go ahead and extend last Friday's contest a few more days. That gives you through noon PST on Tuesday, March 20 to enter the contest by coming up with another idea for a contest.

I swear, that made sense at the time.