A couple weeks ago, I blogged about how I’d had one of those weekends that seemed to be constantly teaching me little life lessons.
I just had another weekend like that, so I thought I’d offer up a new volume of valuable and profound life lessons. For that matter, I think I’ll make this a regular feature and invite all of you to play along at home. Please share your own weekend lessons in the comments section.
Here are mine:
* Licking the blade on your food processor is a good way to cut your tongue. If you’re making homemade blueberry cobbler, it’s totally worth it.
* A 14-year-old male dog who is deaf, mostly blind, arthritic, and suffering from a vestibular disorder and a torn ligament in his knee, will still consider himself capable of defending a young female dog from the flirtations of another male.
* The young female is likely to thank him by knocking him off the porch and chewing his ear.
* It is impossible to conduct research for book set in a vineyard without having a glass of wine.
* If you sit in the sun with the aforementioned glass of wine resting between your legs at precisely the right angle, you will burn a hole in your thigh.
* If you’ve already had more than one glass of wine, you won’t actually realize why your leg is burning and will continue to sit there with the @#$% wine glass between your thighs until your pants begin to smoke.
Last but not least, for those of you following the continued capers of my thieving feline, here’s a rundown of what Matt the Cat stole from the neighborhood this weekend:
1) A disintegrated roll of toilet paper
2) A filthy mousepad bearing photos of puppies
3) The crumpled classified ads from the local paper, perhaps suggesting Matt is seeking gainful employment
4) A foam dart from the neighbor kid’s toy gun
5) A leather glove
See photographic evidence below (and don't forget to share your weekend lessons in the comments section!)