The closest Pythagoras and I have come to divorce court is on the aisles of Home Depot. We’ve built two homes together in almost 13 years of marriage. When I say “built” I don’t mean we sat back and ate bon-bons while watching someone else sling a hammer. I mean we pulled all-nighters hanging drywall, bloodied our knees grouting floors, and bickered so passionately over light fixtures that a Home Depot associate once summoned security.
You may understand then why Home Depot is not a cheerful place for me. When Pythagoras told me in the middle of errand running on Sunday that he needed to stop there for a sprinkler head, I seriously considered leaping from the car in the middle of the freeway.
Little did I know what a treasure trove of delight awaited me on the plumbing aisle.
Behold, the latest installment of Garage Porn:
|I don't know what this is, but why do I feel like I ought to have two or three of them stashed in the drawer of my nightstand?|
|Is this anything like those "minimizer bras" everyone keeps telling me I should try?|
|Pythagoras did not like the sound of this one bit.|
|He wasn't overly fond of this one, either.|
Please share. I have to figure out how to use one of those universal nut lock couplings. Do you think I need a special license?