That means he's required by law to deep fry at least 60% of his food and cover the remaining 40% with butter, bacon, sugar, salt, or some combination of all four.
After a bacon-wrapped meatloaf incapacitated him for 24 hours, I took pity and offered to make a batch of healthy stuffed peppers with lean ground turkey and oodles of nutritious veggies.
He made a giant batch of french fries to accompany it.
I felt my arteries hardening as he dropped the fry basket into the sputtering grease, but he just sighed with pleasure.
"That's one of my favorite sounds in the whole world."
In a weird way, I could relate. Though the sound of hissing grease makes me mildly nauseous, there are certain sounds that give me instant bliss. I was reminded of that just the other day during a frantic morning of edits and emails and so many deadlines I had to wrap my head in a towel to keep it from exploding.
In the middle of it all, one of my cats hopped on my lap, turned in a circle, laid down, put his paw on my arm, and began purring loudly.
It was the auditory equivalent of Valium, and improved my mood by at least six-million percent.
In no particular order, here are some other sounds that have the same effect on me:
- Popcorn bouncing around in my air-popper
- My dog sighing in her sleep
- My mom humming while she performs mundane household tasks
- Friends cracking up over a shared joke
- Rain pattering on my back deck when my window is open on a warm summer night
- A hot guy singing cheerfully in the kitchen while cooking me breakfast
- Birds chirping in the morning
- A favorite song I haven't heard for years that randomly pops up on my iPod
- Any combination of moans, sighs, or pleasure-prompted gasps (I should specify that's only when I intend to elicit that response from someone, though I do enjoy a good prank call as much as the next girl)
- Water in almost any form, from a rushing river to ocean waves to the taps running in my tub
I'll be waiting by the phone in case that heavy breather calls back.