Thursday, August 18, 2011

I am weeping, can you help?

I know I have a number of male readers, and I’d like to stop you here and suggest this might be a nice day to skip my blog and check out the Chainsaw Blog or Mustaches of the 19th Century.

(Sidenote: I was originally being a smart-ass with those suggestions, but a quick google search revealed an unexpected plethora of blogs about chainsaws and mustaches. Who’da thunk?)

Today, I’d like to talk with you about mascara. Specifically, about Marathon Mascara by Covergirl. This is the mascara I began using when I was first allowed to wear makeup at age 12. I’ll admit I made a number of questionable grooming and cosmetic decisions at that age (blue eye shadow? Big plastic earrings? Overestimating the pressure required to shave my legs and carrot-peeling a strip off my shin?)

However, my relationship with Marathon Mascara is one that endured through middle school, high school, college, and well into my adult life. The stuff was bullet-proof. Literally, I once deflected a hail of machine gun fire using only my eyelashes.

Fine, that’s a lie, but I could have.

You could participate in a 20 mile swimming race, sob for six hours over your loss, and then punish yourself by spritzing your face with olive oil and rubbing sandpaper over your eyes and Marathon Mascara still wouldn’t come off.

As a chronic eye rubber and occasional bawl baby, I loved the stuff.

The fact that it required a chisel to remove was a plus to me, but apparently not to those who speared their eyeballs with said chisel. Covergirl discontinued the mascara nearly two years ago, and I’ve been weeping ever since.

Which sucks ass, because I’ve gotta tell you – no mascara I’ve tried since then has been able to withstand the weeping.

I’ve experimented with at least a dozen other brands of mascara, from the insanely expensive makeup counter brands to the drugstore variety. Nothing compares.

I even caved once and purchased an unopened vial of Marathon Mascara on eBay, where clever hoarders began hawking the stuff for $20 a tube. But now those are going for up to $65 apiece, and that’s just too rich for my blood.

So my first question of the day is, do you have any suggestions on waterproof, sweatproof, bulletproof mascara that won’t require me to resort to a career as a jewel thief to fund the purchase?

And my second question is, have you ever had a product discontinued that left you high and dry and lonely and lost and pretty sure you could cry your eyes out if only you had a decent mascara?

Please share. Please. I’m desperate. Did I mention the weeping?

28 comments :

Patrick Alan said...

Since I know from your last post you don't judge, I am a Mary Kay rep.

My first question is how do you test if it is cry proof? I mean, do you have someone punch you in the gut or do you get new mascara, start dating some guy and then go all crazy to get him to break up with you?

Ok, I know a Mary Kay rep. No. I drive a pink caddie...

Anna said...

I used Almay at my wedding but I also have sensitive eyes. It lasted most of the wedding, but you can't go for a swim in the ocean with it.

Alexa O said...

Mmhmm, Lash by Lash mascara. Though I admit I loved it largely because it came in a lovely cobalt blue tube.

Now I use... umm... gosh. It's black, and cheap, and when I cry it gives me crazy raccoon-lady eyes. But it doesn't do the scary spider lady clumps, even when I apply it several times in a row because I am like Stephanie Plum in that I think extra mascara will distract everyone from pimples and/or bad hair.

I wish you all the best of luck in your search! Mascara is a seriously important beauty weapon. I mean tool. I mean weapon.

kel said...

Um, my favorite mascara was discontinued (Loreal something, already forgot the name). The only thing that comes close is Lancome Hypnose. It's a bit pricey, but nothing a weekend of turning tricks can't pay for.

C. said...

HELL yes. Kanebo 38 degrees. 38 degrees is the Celsius temperature you need to remove the mascara in question. Warm enough for it never to happen in the rain (unless it's, you know, acid, or something), but not so warm that it'll be unpleasant when you remove it. I have very sensitive eyes, but can even use it all throughout allergy season. It is absolutely FANTASTIC.

Jess Huckins said...

I don't have any mascara suggestions, only because I don't wear mascara. But I did almost have a breakdown over a product line: Sunsilk Anti-Frizz 24/7 Creme, Shampoo, and Conditioner. It looks like the entire Sunsilk brand has vanished from shelves in the United States. I could still buy it on Amazon in overpriced 6-packs, but it's impossible to find in any stores.

So I switched to Herbal Essences and have been slowly but surely learning how to tame my wild, frizzy mane without Sunsilk.

Good luck finding some replacement mascara!

alwayscoffee said...

I've been using Sephora's Le waterproof mascara, and it's as close to truly waterproof as I've ever gotten. I have tried everything. I was even using Dior mascara at one point (which was lovely, but not even remotely waterproof as advertised). Sephora also makes excellent lipgloss and lipstain. I'm horribly addicted. ~Ali

Jeannie Moon said...

I started using Clinique Lash Power Long-Wearing. I rub my eyes and so far, I don't end up looking like a raccoon. It's waterproof and smudgeproof. Good luck.

Teri Anne Stanley said...

I am NOT a Mary Kay rep, but the stuff I got from one recently is pretty darned good...I can't seem to get the stuff off even when I want to!

I haven't actually looked, but I wonder if you can still buy Love's Baby Soft? I gotta get my 13yo out of the vanilla musk crap she bathes in...

Dianne K. Salerni said...

I'm afraid I've never found a mascara yet I really liked, so I'll have to check out the advice above.

As for discontinued products -- EVERYTHING I fall in love with gets discontinued. My liking something -- a cosmetic, a hair color, a type of yogurt -- is almost always the kiss of doom.

Tere Kirkland said...

I've been using Covergirl Lashblast length in brown black. It does flake a little when you rub your eyes, but it doesn't run or cake and it really makes my lashes longer. Key is the black BROWN. Regular black shows too much if it flakes, but the brown doesn't. Go figure.

I'm not that devoted to any particular make-up brand, but I do get upset when LUSH discontinues the shower gels I like. Grrr... ;)

Hannah Hounshell said...

Have you tried the Clinique brand?

Mine is simply waterproof, but here's one of theirs that is supposed to be pretty tough. It's worth a shot, right? :D

http://www.clinique.com/product/CATEGORY4904/PROD12638/Makeup/Mascara/index.tmpl?cm_vc=XCATEGORY4904

Michael Offutt said...

As soon as you told me to leave for another blog I had to stay to find out what I was missing.

Renee Pinner said...

If a Cover Girl product is going for $65 on eBay, one would think someone at Cover Girl might rethink abandoning the product.

Sofie said...

Hola -

Lash Injection by Too Faced. While it doesn't advertize as waterproof, it totally is. It builds tubes around your lashes and totally works to make them longer AND mroe full. Plus, no raccoon eyes...even when accidentally left on overnight.

When you wash it off, it keeps the tube shape and flakes away...instead of turning to mascara mud and running down your face. My esthetician can't get it off - she's admitted defeat and just leaves it on whenever I'm in for a facial.

Disclaimer: I don't rub my eyes, so I can't vouch for that aspect. Good luck!

Mark Simpson said...

I've got nothing for you when it comes to mascara, but I have a suspicion that it was discontinued because it works TOO well. If you don't have to reapply it you only use half as much, and the formula probably costs more to produce. Sadly there are many examples like this.

I own a pair of Puma California sneakers given to me my a friend who was moving about ten years ago. Even then, they were at least a few years old. These became my grubby footwear for every dirty task from fishing to remodeling an entire house. I still have them and they are easily the most bulletproof shoes I've ever owned. Full grain leather suede uppers and soles made from magic rubber that apparently never wears out. Originally a product of the eighties, they were re-released in the mid-nineties.

At the mall a couple years back I stopped mid-stride at the sight of gleaming new pairs on display in a shoe store. They had been re-released again! A few passes later I caved in and shelled out 70 some dollars for a pair, rationalizing that I would be set for sneakers for years to come.

And now those same sneakers already are worn through in places in the upper leather, and the tread is worn completely bald... and all at only a tiny fraction of the use and blatant abuse my old pair went through. What a jip. I guess if shoes don't wear out people don't buy new ones right?

If they can make tires last 100k miles, a sneaker good for a decade shouldn't be that difficult. Apparently it isn't difficult at all... it just isn't profitable.

Suzi McGowen said...

I'll second the tube mascaras (I've been happy with several brands). No flakes, no smudge, not crying raccoon eyes, and removes easily with soap and water.

(Just to be clear, I mean the mascaras that form tubes around the lashes.)

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Like Dianne, when I get to liking a product too much, sure enough, it's the kiss of death for it. Just like that, it disappears from the market. It's the same phenomenon that prompts me to warn people not to get behind me in the grocery store check-out line. Because, without at doubt, something will happen: the cash register tape will run out, the scanner will stop working, the cashier will have to run to the bathroom to take an emergency pee. Never fails. (Just call me Lucky.) Good luck finding mascara you like.

Liz Hayes said...

I've always used a Maybelline waterproof mascara. I'm not picky about the line -- whatever's on sale. It's all made from bat shit, right?! I've never had a problem -- crying, onion-cutting, even after showers it's usually still mostly on. I'm lazy and don't properly clean it off before bedtime, so sometimes I even wake up with pretty decent lashes ;)

Allie Sanders said...

I just discovered Last Blast Length by Cover Girl. I went swimming in Lake Michigan yesterday and it was the only thing that survived the water. It also has the benefit of not being too overbaring like some mascaras are.

Okay, I realize I am a somewhat grown woman but I am very sad over the loss of Mary-Kate & Ashley make-up. They're mascara was not waterproof but was pretty amazing and I miss their eyeliner. It may exist somewhere but not in any of my stores :(

I'm also really bummed that Wet & Wild changed their eyeliner.

Matthew MacNish said...

I let my girlfriend put eyeliner on me once when I was 19. That was the first and last time I wore make-up, outside of the theater and snuff films.

Leah said...

I'm with the lady that mentioned Maybelline Great Lash waterproof mascara. It comes in the pink/green tube, and it's fantastic. While it's waterproof to the max, it's also a great looking formula, which can be so-so for waterproof mascaras. Oh, and it's inexpensive!

Shakespeare said...

Everything makes my eyes water except Mary Kay. I could get the waterproof, but I get the water resistant. From what I experienced, though, the waterproof doesn't come off except when using the eye makeup remover (which is AWESOME for taking off makeup, but I discovered can stain gelled fingernails).

I seem to lose a lotion brand every time I fall in love with it. I'm allergic to lanolin, which is used in pretty much every lotion, so I have to be pretty picky. Right now I can only get my shampoo and conditioner from one store in town, too. If they stop carrying it, I'm going to have to drive to Florida for shampoo, or buy it in built online. Stinks.

This reminds me of Elaine's sponge problem on SEINFELD.

Jason said...

Shockingly I cannot give you suggestions on mascara.

However, when it comes to products my wife and I like that inexplicably disappear, this practically a running joke in our house. Every time we try a new product and love it - a food or something, for example - we know it's only a matter of time before the company discontinues it. And then we are sad. Crest discontinued the vanilla mint toothpaste we've been using for 6-7 years...and we've tried seven different kinds since then and not really liked any of them. I know there's more, but that's the big one that comes to mind right now.

And don't even get me started on new TV shows we like...us liking them seems to be the kiss of death.

Julie Glover said...

From my teenage years, I have used Maybelline Great Lash. I've tried other drugstore brands, home-sold products, and pricey cosmetic counter offerings, but nothing in my opinion works as well as that pink and green tube. If it ever gets discontinued, I may have to buy false eyelashes instead. Good luck!

Taryn Davidson said...

Have you ever found anything comparable?! I'm still searching ...years later. #WeepingInLA

xoxojessxoxo said...

I agree! They most likely stopped making it cause it was awesome. I also used and loved it. Now I use Covergirl Eyelights in the waterproof formula. It's okay enough ;) ;). Every time I try something else I go back to it.

Anonymous said...

I'm still searching many years later too. Nothing I try even compares to Covergirl Marathon Waterproof mascara! As much money wasted on crap mascara, I should've just bit the bullet & paid $60 on eBay for a tube of Marathon.