Write a fake word short story, win a signed book!

Reading your comments in last week's post about favorite fake words was some of the most fun I've ever had with all my clothes on.

Choosing a winner was no small feat, but in the end, I think I'm most smitten with the following entry from reader J.R.Mann:

Bitchtits: 1) A name you can only call your best friend because anyone else wouldn't get it. 2) Obscenity you yell. Example 1) "Hey bitchtits, what are you doing this weekend?" 2) "Bitchtits! You just dropped fifty pounds on my toe!" 

I adore that word in ways I can't possibly describe, and intend to integrate it into everyday conversation with all my best friends (most of whom I affectionately refer to as, "beyotch.")

Why stop there with the fun? I still have another copy Believe it or Not, and I'd kinda like to keep the fake word thing going a little while longer.

Below is a list of all the fake words you guys used in the comments last week. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a 100-word short story using a minimum of five words from the list. You get an extra point for each word you use beyond that.

Entries will be judged on points, creativity, humor, and the unexplainable whims of a romance author. I'll narrow the field to five finalists and commence a round of reader voting like we did in the caption contest a few weeks ago.

Winner gets a signed copy of Believe it or Not and the admiration of all your peers (and J.R. Mann, shoot me an email at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com to claim your signed copy for the addition of Bitchtits).

Leave your 100-word short story in the comments, and I'll review them at 5 p.m. PST on Wednesday, May 2. Finalists will be posted on Thursday, with reader voting to commence after that. Questions? Leave those in the comments, too!

Now here are your words:

Tweedlefuck: Exclamation used in angry moments such as road rage.

Squeeeeee: Expression of extreme excitement.

Wackadoo: Crazy.

Glomp: No definition provided for this one, so make up your own!

Angstian: Defined by angst (i.e. angstian poetry).

Whatchamathingy, do-jobber, and/or thingamabob: Terms used when the actual name of something is unknown.

Conversating: The act of having a conversation.

Fantabulous: Combination of fabulous and fantastic. Replaces awesome as a word describing something totally wonderful and hard to believe.

Diangulate: To position yourself diagonally on a bed so as to make it impossible for others to join you. Usually occurs at midnight when you get up to go to the bathroom (peepulate) and come back to find the husband has repositioned.

Gregacious: Someone who is enthusiastic, energetic, and sociable (particularly women).

Sherpa: (verb) To carry a large amount of stuff from the car to the house. Example: honey, would you Sherpa the groceries and I’ll grab the cat litter?

Squoze: Past tense of squeeze.

WTFery: Events, occurrences, or individuals prompting a general response of disbelief.

Infinimore: More than infinity. Example: I love you infinimore.

Glup: Combination of glass and cup.

Amazeballs: Something beyond amazing.

Pompitude: A pompous attitude.

Grunion: Green onion.

Medimathical: No definition provided for this one, so make up your own!

Mudderfugger: Curseword that’s not quite a curseword.

Fictzophrenic: A person who hears the voices of their characters and then writes about them. In other words, a writer of fiction.

Douchewaffle: An unpleasant person.

Qua-Nong (alt. Cue-nong): Derived from the sound effect that occurs when something dramatic or surprising occurs on classic episodes of Star Trek. Example: “The bathroom door wasn't locked, and I ended up walking in on someone! Qua-nong!"
Kirchkening: The sound representing teeth chattering resulting from fear or cold.

And of course, the aforementioned Bitchtits. Now go forth and create!