Ten things you’ll never hear me say (well ALMOST never, I swear)

1. Not tonight, dear. I have a headache.
2. Another glass of wine? No thank you, I’ll have juice.
3. Let’s be serious, folks.
4. Adding another sex scene to this book would compromise my artistic integrity.
5. I don’t really need pets in my life.
6. That dirty joke was completely inappropriate.
7. I think I’ll just wait for the movie instead of reading the book.
8. Stop groping me, I’m trying to write here.
9. I’d love to come over for dinner, just let me put on some shoes.
10. Buy my book.

Okay, that last one on the list? I hate it. I can’t stand authors who think “marketing” means beating readers over the head with your book until they fall to their knees and whip out a credit card. If you ever catch me doing that on Twitter or Facebook or in your local bookstore, you have permission to grab me by the tongue and drag me around the floor until my boobs are worn flat.

That said, I am a romantic comedy author who keeps a roof over my head with the advances and royalties from the sale of my books. I find that having a roof over my head greatly enhances my ability to produce more books (not to mention it keeps the snow out of my wineglass).

Tuesday, May 6 is release day for Frisky Business, my newest romantic comedy from Sourcebooks. Kirkus Reviews recently wrote wonderful things about the book, including "up-and-coming romance author Fenske sets up impeccable internal and external conflict and sizzling sexual tension for a poignant love story between two engaging characters, then infuses it with witty dialogue and lively humor. An appealing blend of lighthearted fun and emotional tenderness."

If you like all that stuff, this book might be for you. If you don’t like that stuff, this book also makes a lovely doorstop, flyswatter, or coaster for your wineglass.

• Here’s where you’ll find it on Amazon

• Here’s where you’ll find it on Barnes & Noble

• Here’s where you’ll find it on iBookstore

• Here’s where you’ll find it on Kobo

Or you can wander into your local bookstore and ask for it. If they don’t have it in stock, try throwing yourself on the floor and pounding your fists and feet on the ground while screaming the book title until they offer to order it for you.

But even if you don’t buy the book, we’re still friends. Can I come over for dinner? I might even put on shoes if you want.