Monday, April 28, 2014

Share your bad date story, win a signed copy of Frisky Business!

Holy cow, you guys! We're a week away from the release date for Frisky Business, my new romantic comedy from Sourcebooks. Anyone want to join me in doing a happy dance on the table wearing nothing but undies and a party hat?

Next week I'll be kicking off a blog tour centered around bad dates. We’ve all had them, right? In Frisky Business, my heroine endures more than her share. After vowing not to date any more wealthy men, Marley embarks on a quest to date only blue collar guys. While the plan makes it easier for her keep her distance from Will—the quirky, unlikely millionaire she desperately doesn’t want to fall for—it sends Marley down a path of truly terrible dates.

I'll be sharing several of my own during the blog tour, but how about we get a head start on this now? While the bad date stories I'm sharing during the tour are fairly detailed, there are a few abbreviated ones worth mentioning. Among the highlights:
  • Age 16: The guy who turned to me during the first five minutes of our date and asked, "do you like to get down?" I replied by detailing my musical preferences and limited experience with dancing at school functions. He gave me an exasperated look. "No," he snapped. "I mean do you like to f**k." Suffice it to say, he never found out.
  • Age 23: The guy who spent much of the date ogling a woman on the other side of the bar. When I said his name to draw his attention back to our conversation, he turned his head and speared his nostril with his straw. (Note: You'll see a slight variation of this incident in Frisky Business).
  • Age 37: The time my date texted me something flirtatiously filthy from across the table at the precise moment I handed my phone to his ex-wife (you can read more of that story here).

I'll be sharing a number of lengthier stories during the blog tour, so go here to scope out the dates and topics. There will be tons of exclusive excerpts and cool prize giveaways, too, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, how about we kick things off with our own prize giveaway? In the comments (or in an email message sent to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com if Blogger decides to be a dick and eat comments again) please share your own bad date story. It can be as short or as detailed as you like.

I'll pick a winner on Monday, May 5 – the day before release day for Frisky Business – and that person will receive a signed copy of the book.

Not in the mood to share or to wait? I've heard through the grapevine the book is already appearing in bookstores around the country, and many folks who pre-ordered  have already received theirs. Here's a roundup of buy links:

  • Buy the book from Kobo

So what's YOUR best bad date story? Please take off the party hat, get down from the table, put your clothes back on, and share!


Skye said...

The chance to win the book seems a good enough trade-off for telling the story of a bad date! :)

I was 37. After years of either attracting men who just didn't suit (I'm being kind), I gave in and went to the major matchmaker in Seattle. I gave them lots of money to match me up with suitable men for a year.

I got one date. Apparently guys paying a matchmaker to help them find a good match still only want a 20-something with a hardbody and long blonde hair. Go figure.

So this guy and I talked on the phone for a few days and he seemed interesting. We both had eccentric interests: he liked to sew costumes for use in the Society for Creative Anachronism and he had a horse. These seemed cool to me. We decided to meet at the zoo.

I parked at the opposite end of the zoo so I had time to scope him out unseen. He was unfortunately easy to spot because he wore riding pants and riding boots. Khaki-colored, stretch riding pants into which he'd tucked his khaki-colored shirt. Unfortunately, he didn't have the body to wear stretch pants. Oh, and his Aussie hat was khaki-colored. However, I went ahead and introduced myself.

1. He'd not allowed himself time to shower and dress after riding, so he smelled of horse and sweat.

2. He didn't want to pay the higher prices for food and drink at the zoo so he brought his own drink and a snack of mixed berries --- which he didn't offer to share.

3. He spent most of the time complaining about how terrible Seattle was and how much better Dallas was (he used to live there). When I finally broke down and snapped "Well if you like Dallas so much better, why don't you move back there?" Turns out he was working for Microsoft and it was more important for him to work long enough to vest all his stock (i.e., become wealthy) than it was for him to be happy.

I'm so glad there were cool animal exhibits to look at.

Then, to be kind, I decided to give him another chance and told him I'd be willing to go on a second date. He replied that he wasn't interested and that he was already getting involved with another woman he'd met. He was only meeting me to give him a secondary option but it seemed things with the other woman were working out. Relieved, I wandered back through the zoo to my car.

Lastly, he called me about a week later. Apparently this woman with whom it was working out didn't actually do so and he was willing to go on another date with me! Yeah, I declined. Politely.

For $1500 for a year of matches, that's the only date I hate. A very expensive, very bad date.

love to read said...

My very first date and he didn't show up, I waited over an hour because I didn't know what to do and I'd been so excited.

bn100 said...

No bad date stories to share

bn100candg at hotmail dot com

erin said...

Congrats on the newest release!!! I'm so excited for it too!!! Ummm... in high school there was a boy I had a huge, huge crush on and everyone knew it. He asked me out on a date and I was thrilled!! Turns out I wasn't on a date, rather, he had only wanted to meet me to grill me about my BFF at the time... that He liked!!! Yikes!!!

Catherine Guenther said...

I'm 17 years old, pretty, blonde and busty. I'm driving along and a young man driving a porsche pulled up beside me and gave me a wink. I smiled, waved and drove off. The next day, I'm working at the bank and he comes strolling in. He'd memorized my license plate, called the DMV, obtained my personal information and called my home. My sister answered the phone and was more than happy to tell him I was at work. He asked where. Alas, I was rather charmed, when I'd found out the effort he took to find me. He asked me out to dinner. He was cute. I said yes. So he picks me up and we start driving and I'm asking him where we're going. He say's he's planning on making me dinner. We stop at a Safeway and go in. He buys steaks and all the trimmings. We go to the check out line. He pulls out FOODSTAMPS to buy the groceries. I'd NEVER seen a food stamp in my life! I was horrified (and this guy drove a Porsche). He then took to his place which was dingy and a little freightening. His walls were covered with posters of sexy women, all in the midst of having orgasms. He pushes me onto the bed, trying to grope me ... by this time, I'm fucking scared. I pushed him off and demand that he take me home. He did, but he wasn't happy about it at all!! Actually, he was rather pissed. Now, looking back, I'm was so damn very lucky he did. The experience taugh me to always, always drive myself and meet the date at a scheduled spot. And to tell a friend or family member where you're going. WORST. DATE. EVER.

Oh, I forgot ... the food stamps weren't quite enough to cover the cost of the groceries, and he didn't have enough cash to make up the difference, so I had to open up my purse and contribute to the purchase. I was doing this by stunned auto-pilot... totally embarassed and lacking the maturity to walk out the door and call a friend for a ride home

Lindy said...

I was in my early twenties and a Russian guy I knew asked me out on a date. We had an okay time. He bought dinner, drinks, and a movie. At the end if the date he drove up to my apartment complex, put the car in park and asked me if it was a full service date.

Mary Preston said...

First date - he brings his mother!!!!


Kendra said...

I was out with a guy, and while we were headed there we were chatting it up. I thought it would be a nice rest of the night, but when we got there, all he could do was look at his phone. He'd look up at me, and then back down. It was this weird awkward silence, and when I looked around just to find something else to look at, a woman was staring back at me. She felt bad for me - it was written all over her face. Never again.

Anonymous said...

I got a call from a guy asking me out, ( I thought it was a guy that I had seen come into where I worked, who got my number from my friend.) So I aid ya and suggested we meet at a local pub where my friends were going to be. I am sitting with my friends waiting for him to arrive. Unbeknownst to me the guy who asked me out was not who I thought it was, so when this other guy comes in and walls over to our table I said "Oh I am waiting for my date to come." He said "I think I am your date. " I sat looking at him in confusion, then trying to recover from my blunder I said that my roommate had told me he was the same guy I had seen at work a couple of times that iliked, realizing how that sounded I accepted the fact that I screwed up, he said, sorry to disappoint you!" Turned and walked out the door. I tried to talk to him and say I was sorry, but he wouldn't listen. I went back and hung out with friends for a while, when I was walking to my car layer that night I noticed a couple cop cars parked beside my car it seems that someone was caught breaking my car windows. (Care to guess who? ) but the up side to the story, the cop who was waiting by my car just happened to be the guy that I had thought I was meeting for the date. Small world.
So first guy got arrested and I married the cop 1 year later. Lol

Julie Weathers said...

I've had a ton of them, but one time in high school stands out. I didn't go out a lot because Mom worked nights so I was in charge of cleaning house, cooking, shopping for groceries, taking care of three younger brothers and sisters, making sure they got their homework done and mine, etc. Dates were kind of a luxury. We went to the downtown movie together every Saturday night, but me going 60 miles to Dickinson to the city to go to a movie alone on a date was a luxury.

So, I was really looking forward to this date. He was a few years older than me and had been killing time at the bar where Mom worked while I fed the kids and got them situated. Got ready myself and got a friend over to watch them.

He shows up and I almost float to the truck. He's really a good looking cowboy. yum.

Then he just sits there for a while after I get in the truck and I start wondering if I have this huge booger hanging out of my nose or something. Finally he says, "Gee, isn't it a shame you don't look like your mom?"

Now I am used to living in Mom's shadow. She was invited to go to Hollywood twice by two different producers who begged her to go screen test, but I'm not exactly ugly and to be hit with this is a real shock.

I replied, "Yes, it is. If you will excuse me, I forgot something." Then I got out of the truck and went back in the house and changed back into my working clothes. A few minutes later he knocks on the door and asks me if I'm ready, we're going to be late. I say, no, I forgot it's my night to clean carpets.

Julie Weathers said...

Congratulations on the new release. I'm very proud of your success. You go, girl.


Thank you for all the awesome entries (those of you sharing here as well as via email)! I feel like we should all get together for drinks to commiserate on these truly awful dates.

The winner for this round is.....Catherine Guenther!!!!

Catherine, if you're reading, shoot me an email to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com. Let me know your snail mail address and how you'd like the book signed (i.e. to you, to a friend, etc.)

Thanks again to everyone who shared!