So I think we’re going to do it.
No, not do it – get your minds out of the gutter. I think we’re finally going to cut the cord and get rid of our telephone landline.
We’ve contemplated it for years, but finally sat down the other day and determined how often we use the landline. On average, about 50% of the calls we get are not for us.
Pythagoras and I do not share a last name, as I kindly allowed him to keep his when we wed. He does, however, share a last name with a local physician. That means we’ve spent the last 12 years serving as the good doctor’s second line.
The first time it happened, I was confused.
“Yes, I’d like to schedule an appointment,” a caller informed me one afternoon.
“To do what?”
She snorted with annoyance. “For an exam, of course.”
I surveyed the assembly of pets in my living room, trying to remember who was due for shots and when our vet started making reminder calls. “I guess we could do it later today. Is this for rabies?”
“What? Why? Is there a local outbreak?”
Eventually, we got it straightened out, but the calls didn’t stop there. At least once a week, my eardrums are subjected to the screech of someone’s fax machine. Occasionally, this is followed up by the screech of a pharmacy employee calling to demand we turn on our fax machine.
“I think you have the wrong number,” I told the last caller.
“Well give me the right one, dammit!”
I hesitated for a moment, then rattled off the number I saw on my phone’s caller ID.
“Wait – that’s our number,” she snapped.
“It is,” I agreed. “Enjoy having the fax machine redial you every 30 seconds.”
Pythagoras is kinder about it than I am, often listening sympathetically to a caller’s symptoms while he looks up the correct number.
“That sounds really painful,” I overheard him saying as he thumbed through the Yellow Pages. “So wearing the helmet to bed hasn’t helped?”
As much as we’ve enjoyed receiving these calls for the last 12 years, it’s time to move on. We’ve got our cell phones, and it’s unlikely the world will end if we cease accepting calls for the good doctor.
How about you? Do you still have a landline? Can you think of any compelling reason we should continue to pay $40 a month to have ours? Tell me in the comments trail, I’m all ears.
Well, as soon as they stop ringing from that last fax call.