Every now and then, my parents get a chance to remember why I shouldn't be allowed out in public.
They got to rediscover this on Friday at the Oregon State Fair when we stumbled upon the nation’s premier lumberjack competition, the STIHL® TIMBERSPORTS® Series. The event is touted as, "wood-chopping, saw-slicing, heart-pumping lumberjack action."
You already see where this is going, don't you?
I sincerely wish I'd had an audio recorder or a notepad with me to record the running commentary from the ESPN announcers. As it was, I missed a lot of the play-by-play because I was on my knees howling with laughter as tears ran down my face and my mother simultaneously pretended not to know me and not to be every bit as amused as I was.
Here's the gist of what had me in stitches:
Announcer 1: Let's talk a little bit about the wood out here today.
Announcer 2: Yes, definitely! You know, a lot of people don't realize the hardness of the wood makes all the difference when it comes to a competition like this one.
Announcer 1: And believe me, this is some hard wood these guys are dealing with!
Announcer 2: Well, it's not just the wood, but the way the guys handle it. Stepping up to the platform now we have Floyd Jones. Now this man knows how to work the wood!
Announcer 1: Indeed he does. Watch the power behind that motion! He's really putting some muscle into it.
Announcer 2: You really have to appreciate the technique when he's working it from the front like that. A lot of people don't realize the force you need when you come at it from above.
Announcer 1: Oh, things are really heating up now! Look at the precision when he moves around to get at it from behind. That wood is about to give!
Announcer 2: And he's down!
We only got to watch one round before my parents decided we might be better off in the livestock barn.
If you've ever seen ram testicles, you already know that was a severe miscalculation on their part.
So how was your weekend? Any good wood whacking or other forms of unintentional risque humor? Please share!