I would like to hire someone to reside under my bathroom vanity and punch me hard in the face every time I think it’s a good idea to wax my own eyebrows.
No matter how many times I end up looking like a badly groomed hedgehog with mange, I never seem to learn my lesson.
Besides having no brow waxing skills, I have no common sense when it comes to the timing of things. The fact that I have a big book signing coming up at 7 p.m. Friday at Powell’s on Cedar Hills Crossing in Portland should have deterred me from taking major cosmetic risks at this point, but it’s actually what convinced me the grooming effort would be a good idea.
So now I have mismatched eyebrows with random patchy chunks missing. I’m also waiting to see if I end up with a black eye from stepping on a rake in my garage the other day. I’ve seen the rake sitting there for weeks, and it crossed my mind more than once that I should turn it around so I wouldn’t end up smashing myself in the face with it.
But the face smashing occurred, and my cheekbone still aches. I don’t see any noticeable marks so far, but I’m half expecting to wake up with some sort of delayed-onset black eye.
It can happen. Well, if it can happen, it will certainly happen to me.
Then there’s the sunburn I got yesterday by forgetting to ask someone to put sunscreen on my back until after I’d been out on the lake for more than three hours. Fortunately, that shouldn’t be too noticeable at the book signing unless I decide to take my shirt off. Given my questionable judgment recently, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility.
Make me feel better here – what dumb things have you done lately? Please share, I need to know I'm not alone in this.
Oh, and if you happen to live near Portland and are planning to attend the Powell’s event on Friday, can you let me know in the comments? They’re trying to get a ballpark head count so they know which room to put is in.
I’m thinking the one with the padded walls would do nicely.