Feng shui sounds dirty if you say it right

The two-day conference I just attended included a four-hour seminar on maintaining creative momentum.

Suffice it to say, I can use that for both the day job and my life as an author.

One section of the presentation focused on feng shui. In case you’re unfamiliar with it, feng shui is an ancient Chinese practice focused on balancing the energies of a given space to promote the health and well-being of the people occupying it.

In other words, moving your crap around to make your life better.

Though I’ve known more or less what it was, I’ve never bothered to learn specifics. The instructor put up a diagram instructing us to stand at the front entrance to our homes and point to the right. Start walking in a loop around the perimeter of the house. When you hit the far right corner, that’s your love corner. Keep going ‘til you hit the far left corner. That’s wealth. It works that way for different levels of the home, or for individual rooms.

I was fascinated.

I was also disturbed to realize my wealth corner contained a broken clock, while my love corner housed an overflowing trash can.

Probably not good signs, though it might explain a lot.

I scribbled notes about painting the front door red or using a red welcome mat to invite qi into the home. I made lists of things that should go in my love corner – pairs of objects, candles, photographs, items from nature like plants or pretty rocks or a fish bowl. I did a mental tally of things to add to my wealth corner – a jade plant, a frog figurine, anything red, objects from nature, things that represent what I want for my future.

My hand cramped from writing as the instructor regaled us with stories of how her income has doubled each year since she began shoring up her wealth corner with feng shui.

Then she smiled. “I’m not saying that’s the reason,” she added. “But it’s kind of like insurance – why take the chance going without it?”

I’ll admit I can be a skeptic, but I'm also superstitious. A weird balance, to be sure.

I’ve almost been run over several times when stopping to pick up pennies in the street. Back when I was querying agents, I followed a complicated ritual for blessing each query envelope before it went in the mail. The blessing didn’t involve virgin sacrifice, but only because I didn’t know any virgins.

Did it really make a difference? Deep down, the logical part of me admits it's unlikely.

But what’s the harm in hoping it might? If it takes so little effort, why not hedge your bets?

I went home after the seminar and moved the trash can out of my love corner. Then I looked at the clock in my wealth corner – a lovely memento from the Murano glass factory in Venice, but the pendulum hasn’t swung for six years.

There’s no room in my life for impotent pendulums, so I took the clock off the wall and stashed it in a cupboard.

Then I started shuffling existing pictures and objects. After that, I went shopping for a few odds and ends at thrift stores and Home Depot.

So what’s in my love corner now?

• My nightstand holding a pair of red tea light candles
• A pair of maracas I brought back from Venezuela 14 years ago
• A series of five black and white artistic nude photos
• A plant that somehow survived a ten-foot fall after my cat knocked it off a ledge six months ago
• A photo of me with the gentleman friend I mentioned last week.

There’s still a clutter of books and reading glasses and an alarm clock that’s not so sexy, but I can deal.

And in my wealth corner, we have:

• A 35 gallon aquarium that was already there (good thing, since I can’t move it anyway)
• A red vase filled with sand and shells from a recent beach trip
• A pretty metal pitcher holding a bouquet of dried flowers
• A photo that makes me smile
• A painting I bought in Jamaica that reminds me of warm sand and fruity drinks
• A jade plant in a red pot

I’ll probably shuffle things around a little bit, and I’m waiting for the postman to bring me a small clay frog I bought online for my wealth corner.

Did I immediately find myself showered with wealth and love the instant I fixed up my new spaces? Depends on how you define it. I felt happy right away, and isn’t that sort of the point?

The jury’s still out on the rest of it, but I can be patient.

What’s in the love and wealth corners of your house? Do you know much about feng shui? Are there any areas of your life where superstition or uncertainty drive you do something just in case?

Please share!

Here are the photos of my new corners. I’ve taken the liberty of fuzzing out faces and nudie bits to protect privacy. What? I know you guys are perverts.

It’s why I love you.

The love corner, which happens to be in my bedroom. Convenient, no?

The wealth corner, which is in my dining room.