It's because my spam folder is a veritable treasure trove of amusement that never ceases to delight me. Sometimes it's the sender's email address that sets me giggling. Other times it's the subject line. Here are a few of my favorites from the last couple days...
Um, yeah. The last time I had THAT dream, I woke to discover a Hairy Woodpecker attacking my windowsill (incidentally, Hairy Woodpecker would be a great subject line for some email spam).
Oooh! Let me take a guess at the three questions so I don't actually have to open the email!
- Can I get you a glass of wine to enjoy while I fix dinner?
- You're such a brilliant writer that I was just wondering – is there any chance you'll let me read and worship every word you've ever written?
- Have you seen the yardstick so I can measure my wood? (What? He's building you a new computer desk!
Also in high demand – someone who knows how to use apostrophes correctly! It's apparently a rampant problem.
So what's in your spam folder? Anything juicy? Please share!
And feel free to contribute a guess about the "3 questions that get women turned on," while you're at it! We owe it to the men of the world to help out as much as possible
9 comments :
I just have to point out there is one thing that beats a huge stick all the time. It's called a hand.
Anyway, I've been getting a series of these interesting ones lately. They come from all kind of randomly different named "women's" email addresses, and they start out very nice.
"I'm a shy girl who loves books..."
It gets raunchy fast from there, but I though that was an interesting new twist.
How about, "I can't possibly spend all this cash on my own, would you mind helping me parcel it out to Nordstrom's?"
1. Could you sit right here out of the way, while I empty the dishwasher and finish folding the kids' laundry?
2. Do you want to watch "The Mirror has Two Faces?" I'm bored with baseball/football/soccer/shuffleboard/golf/competitive skipping.
3. Would you like to take a nice long nap while I take the kids miles away?
Have I told you lately how much I enjoy reading your posts?
Tawna, you crack me up. You also get all the good spam.
All I get are spam ads for Ugg Boots and Cialis, and considering that I am neither male nor Norwegian (I am Danish though...how did they figure it out??) I agree their filters need work.
Some poor barefoot Norwegian is going to have a miserable winter (and his wife a worse one) if they don't.
You always know what to say to make my day. Never fails & I'm almost guaranteed a good milk-squirting-from-nose laugh. ;-)
Matthew, if it's an ESPECIALLY huge stick, there's seldom a shortage of hands eager to beat it :)
Jessica, LOL, I almost included a question like that in the blog post, but didn't want to sound too much like a gold-digger!
Sarah, bwahahaha! These are great! I especially love #1.
Mac, I live to entertain you :)
Susan, I kinda wondered what's in other people's spam boxes. Since this post doesn't seem to be racking up a ton of comments, I'm sorta picturing everyone going, "jeez, what a pervert...my spam box doesn't have any of that crap in it."
Blaire, glad you enjoyed it!
Thanks for reading, guys!
Tawna
My favorite spam-scam ever was the one where the FBI e-mailed me to tell me that someone in South Africa was trying to send me money as part of a terrorist attack.
The wording was terrible, the e-mail addy was wrong,and honestly, if I were suspected of terrorist actions I doubt they'd be e-mailing me for my information.
I still get them every few months and I keep laughing every time I do.
1) Honey, I did the dishes and the laundry. Dinner is almost done so why don't you go put your feet up?
2) I'm off to the gym.
3) I don't like sports.
Well, we all say Geez, what a pervert, but it has nothing to do with your spam. We say it about your giant raging pervertednessism.
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