I recently told a friend I don't like to wear pants.
I meant I have a strong preference for skirts, as opposed to implying I like to browse the hardware store wearing nothing but a thong and snow boots.
"My husband has the same issue," my friend replied. For a moment I was still hung up on the thong and snow boots, and I may have thrown up a little in my mouth.
"Actually," she continued, "he's learned to use pants as an excuse not to do things he doesn't want to do."
Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate.
"Like if I ask him to take out the trash, he'll run and take off his pants," she explained. "Then he tells me he can't possibly take out the trash because he's not wearing pants."
I can't argue with that.
I also have to confess, I find the strategy brilliant. How can I use it to my advantage?
It probably won't get me out of undesirable author tasks. I write romance, so my editor probably assumes I do most of my work without pants.
I'm also not sure it will work for speaking engagements and book signing events. An announcement that the author isn't wearing pants would likely prompt event organizers to breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank God, at least this won't be as boring as we expected."
So I guess I'll have to look for other reasons not to wear pants. Like the fact that it's Tuesday.
What's the best excuse you've ever heard for not doing something? Can you top the no-pants plan? Please share!
I'll be getting dressed for the day job. Or undressed, as the case may be.