Okay, that's a lie. Pretty much everything besides my name and the line that says "sign here" is a mystery to me, which is why I'm grateful to have an agent who makes sure I never scrawl my signature on a form pledging to donate my boobs to medical science upon the sale of Turkish rights for my first two novels.
Incidentally, in case you've ever wondered what the Turkish versions of Making Waves and Believe it or Not look like (and who hasn't?) here you go.
But this is actually not the point of this blog post. Wait, what was the point?
Right. The fact that I don't understand my book contracts. For instance, I know it says somewhere in there that they'll send me a whole big bunch (I think that's the correct terminology) of advance reading copies (ARCs, if you want to sound cool) for each of my books. Even so, I'm always a little mystified when they show up.
In case you've never seen an ARC, they pretty much look like real books. However, if you look closely, you'll see lingo that specifies they're not for resale and that they're intended for review purposes. If you look even more closely, you'll see typos scattered throughout the manuscript because I have the tendency not to notice things like that until the eleventh hour. It's something my editor finds utterly charming about me, and by "charming," I mean there's a strong possibility she'd like to punch me in the throat.
Nevertheless, I have a bunch of ARCs for my newest romantic comedy Frisky Business. They are currently covering up a hole I made in the desk when I knocked over a big penis-shaped candle. Now I haven't read my contract closely, but I suspect that's not how I'm supposed to use my ARCs. I should probably give them away, don't you think?
I have to tell you, I'm kind of excited about this book, which is releasing May 6 from Sourcebooks. Yesterday, Kirkus Reviews (one of the most reputable review publications in the book biz) posted a killer write-up on Frisky Business. Lookie here:
Swearing off rich men after a demoralizing breakup, Marley Cartman moves to Bend, Ore., for a brand-new start and immediately meets Will: jeans-clad, seemingly unemployed and...horrifyingly wealthy.
The second Marley meets the scruffy animal shelter volunteer, it’s clear there’s an attraction, and when they wind up sharing a scorching kiss, she thinks there might be something worth pursuing…until the next day, when she discovers that "Will" is William Barclay V, a wealthy town benefactor and chairman of the board of the wildlife sanctuary where’s she’s just started working and which has a very strict policy against staff fraternizing with supervisors and board members. Besides, Will has major trust issues thanks to a disastrous marriage, and Marley has a few secrets that she knows will push his buttons. Forsaking the man who makes her toes curl, she embarks on a plan to date normal men with average bank accounts—with highly amusing results—until the moment Will’s and Marley's pasts collide to devastating effect. In this quirky comedy, up-and-coming romance author Fenske sets up impeccable internal and external conflict and sizzling sexual tension for a poignant love story between two engaging characters, then infuses it with witty dialogue and lively humor.
An appealing blend of lighthearted fun and emotional tenderness.
Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart? It warms mine, and I'm not even entirely sure where my cockles are.
Here's what I do know though: having a bunch of reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble can make or break a book for an author. It's particularly important to get those reviews up on release day or immediately thereafter (though not before, since those sites won't allow you to review a book that doesn't exist yet. Go figure).
Anyway, here's what I want to do: I've got five extra ARCs for Frisky Business. If you're willing to leave a review on Amazon or B&N on release day, tell me so in the comments. Bonus points if you're willing to do both. I'll draw five names on Monday, April 14, and will mail them out to you the next day.
Oh, and if you're too busy to hassle with all that but you still want the book, Frisky Business is available for pre-order on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Probably some other places, too. I should check my contract, huh?
P.S. Sometimes Blogger decides to be an asshole and eat comments (particularly from people using smartphones). If that happens to you, feel free to email me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com and I'll still count your entry.