Okay, that's a lie. Pretty much everything besides my name and the line that says "sign here" is a mystery to me, which is why I'm grateful to have an agent who makes sure I never scrawl my signature on a form pledging to donate my boobs to medical science upon the sale of Turkish rights for my first two novels.
Incidentally, in case you've ever wondered what the Turkish versions of Making Waves and Believe it or Not look like (and who hasn't?) here you go.
But this is actually not the point of this blog post. Wait, what was the point?
Right. The fact that I don't understand my book contracts. For instance, I know it says somewhere in there that they'll send me a whole big bunch (I think that's the correct terminology) of advance reading copies (ARCs, if you want to sound cool) for each of my books. Even so, I'm always a little mystified when they show up.
In case you've never seen an ARC, they pretty much look like real books. However, if you look closely, you'll see lingo that specifies they're not for resale and that they're intended for review purposes. If you look even more closely, you'll see typos scattered throughout the manuscript because I have the tendency not to notice things like that until the eleventh hour. It's something my editor finds utterly charming about me, and by "charming," I mean there's a strong possibility she'd like to punch me in the throat.
Nevertheless, I have a bunch of ARCs for my newest romantic comedy Frisky Business. They are currently covering up a hole I made in the desk when I knocked over a big penis-shaped candle. Now I haven't read my contract closely, but I suspect that's not how I'm supposed to use my ARCs. I should probably give them away, don't you think?
I have to tell you, I'm kind of excited about this book, which is releasing May 6 from Sourcebooks. Yesterday, Kirkus Reviews (one of the most reputable review publications in the book biz) posted a killer write-up on Frisky Business. Lookie here:
Kirkus Reviews
Swearing off rich men after a demoralizing breakup, Marley Cartman moves to Bend, Ore., for a brand-new start and immediately meets Will: jeans-clad, seemingly unemployed and...horrifyingly wealthy.
The second Marley meets the scruffy animal shelter volunteer, it’s clear there’s an attraction, and when they wind up sharing a scorching kiss, she thinks there might be something worth pursuing…until the next day, when she discovers that "Will" is William Barclay V, a wealthy town benefactor and chairman of the board of the wildlife sanctuary where’s she’s just started working and which has a very strict policy against staff fraternizing with supervisors and board members. Besides, Will has major trust issues thanks to a disastrous marriage, and Marley has a few secrets that she knows will push his buttons. Forsaking the man who makes her toes curl, she embarks on a plan to date normal men with average bank accounts—with highly amusing results—until the moment Will’s and Marley's pasts collide to devastating effect. In this quirky comedy, up-and-coming romance author Fenske sets up impeccable internal and external conflict and sizzling sexual tension for a poignant love story between two engaging characters, then infuses it with witty dialogue and lively humor.
An appealing blend of lighthearted fun and emotional tenderness.
Doesn't that just warm the cockles of your heart? It warms mine, and I'm not even entirely sure where my cockles are.
Here's what I do know though: having a bunch of reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble can make or break a book for an author. It's particularly important to get those reviews up on release day or immediately thereafter (though not before, since those sites won't allow you to review a book that doesn't exist yet. Go figure).
Anyway, here's what I want to do: I've got five extra ARCs for Frisky Business. If you're willing to leave a review on Amazon or B&N on release day, tell me so in the comments. Bonus points if you're willing to do both. I'll draw five names on Monday, April 14, and will mail them out to you the next day.
Oh, and if you're too busy to hassle with all that but you still want the book, Frisky Business is available for pre-order on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Probably some other places, too. I should check my contract, huh?
P.S. Sometimes Blogger decides to be an asshole and eat comments (particularly from people using smartphones). If that happens to you, feel free to email me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com and I'll still count your entry.
37 comments :
I would be very happy to leave you reviews. And this time, it would actually BE me leaving them (Hubby switched up the account settings so he's no longer "reviewing" romance novels. Apparently, it wasn't his thing and all.) Do I get extra bonus entry points (wait... that sounded dirty, oh well, this is you I'm talking to) if I tell you that the 14th is my actual, no fooling, not (Observed) birthday?
I'd love to read this and leave a review on Amazon. This is a great opportunity!
I'll do both, and I will DO YOU PROUD in said reviews. :)
I would love a chance to read it ASAP and write a review!
Would love to receive and ARC and I can promise you a review on Amazon, B&N and Good reads. Thank you for this opportunity.
On a side note - No one understands contracts I think Lawyers write them that way on purpose.
I would love to read and review this new book for you! :)
I would always love to read an ARC and write a review of your book. You make me laugh daily!!
This book sounds so good! I can't wait to read it! Would absolutely love to get the chance to do that before it is released!
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME...
That's Karla speak, for "Yes, I'd love to review this puppy!" (see what I did there?)
I kind of think I love this cover the best out of all your books...but then again, I'm a sucker for puppies :)
I'd love an ARC, but I think I've pre-ordered the book, so better let the ARC go to someone else. I will however read it as soon as it arrives and review it!
I can definitely read and post a review. I use B&N and their reviews are rather lacking, probably because Amazon has the bulk of the ebook business. I will also cross post to Goodreads which I do for anything I buy over at B&N.
Loved "Making Waves"!
I love your books. I would love to have this book to add to my collection of your books. I have two so I need this one. I promise to leave a review for the book on both B&N and Amazon. Thank you for the chance.
I'd be happy to write a review and post it in both places AND on Goodreads. See what I did there... I upped my ante.
No biggie if I don't win because I'm buying it anyway and will STILL write the reviews for you because that's how I do. ;)
XO
Cat
I featured your blog in my themed A to Z Blogging Challenge. Here's a link to the post:
http://eannmartin.blogspot.com/2014/04/a-to-z-blogging-challenge-d.html
Thank you for your blog, and please enter me in the ARC drawing.
Absolutely count me in if you feel like slinging one all the way to Australia. I'd be more than happy to post reviews, shout it from the rooftops and force people to buy it. Nicely of course :)
I'd love to leave a review on both for you! Either way I can't wait to check Frisky Business out!!
I'd love to review for you of both. Thank you
Would be love to read it and leave reviews for you. I can post reviews on Amazon, B&N & Goodreads. Thanks for the chance!
I would leave a review for you at both sites.
I'd do a review on Amazon.
*Waves hand wildly in the air! I would love to leave a review on Amazon, B&N and Goodreads for you. Thanks for the chance, the book looks good.
I'm excited to try your writing and would love to read and review Frisky Business! In addition to posting reviews on Amazon, B & N, I would also post on my blog: http://thelustyliterate.com/, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads & Pinterest
Congratulations and happiest Frisky Business release day wishes!
I would love to read and review your book - but only if I can get an e-copy ARC because I live in Canada and I know most authors don't send books to us. But digital books work out just fine! I review on Amazon and Goodreads, but I would do B&N as well. Have a great day!
Would love to win. Would post my reviews on goodreads, amzon and barnes and noble. Love your books.
I would love to read and post reviews!
Well I don't have an account with BN so can't do there, but I can do Amazon (which is more awesome anyway), Goodreads, Shelfari, LibraryThing & of curse my blog!!
Good Luck to all those who enter!!
Aisha
Bewitching Bibliophile
Of course I want one! Super excited!
I can review for Amazon & Goodreads if that helps.
marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
I can post on both Amazon and Barnes and Noble as well as goodreads and my blog. Thanks for the chance. :)
No point to the blog post? I could almost believe I wrote it. Except the part about not understanding the contracts. I would never write that. Not understanding my own blog posts, definitely. But the contracts? Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
I'm pretty sure ARC distribution isn't in the contract. ;)
Go forth and review this UP AND COMING ROMANCE WRITER, people!!
I will leave a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and my blog :D http://livetoread-krystal.blogspot.com/
Damn--late to the party as usual! But if you still have an ARC covering a penis-shaped stain, I'm happy to read and review :-)
I'm getting ready to start writing a humorous contemporary of my own, so I'm going to be rereading your earlier books for inspiration!
magicmysticminerva at yahoo
Wow, thanks for all the lovely enthusiasm for the ARCs. I just discovered two extra copies stashed in my drawer, so I have SEVEN to give away in total. I drew names at random, so here are the winners:
1) Gina F.
2) Penelope
3) Robin the Book Nerd
4) Ann Martin
5) The Lusty Literate
6) Krystal Larson
7) Jenny Martin
Congrats, and thanks for your willingness to leave reviews. I'll try contacting you individually to get your snail mail addresses, but if you happen to see this message, feel free to shoot me your mailing details at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com. Thanks again!
Tawna
Gah! I'm having a tough time tracking down contact info for most of the winners, so if you see this, please message me! I shoulda requested your email address up front, eh?
Tawna
Just emailed you :)
Damn. There are two winners I haven't heard from yet, despite my relentless searching for contact info. I need to get these books in the mail so folks have time to read and review, so I'll give this 'til midnight PST April 17. Then I'm going to have to pick two new winners. Sorry! If anyone knows how to reach Ann Martin or Jenny Martin (hey, are you guys related?!) please let them know ASAP that their prizes are going, going...almost gone :)
Tawna
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