Monday, November 14, 2011

The not-hot boys who make me want to get naked

I was drinking wine with a girlfriend the other night when a Tom Petty song started playing.

"Ohmygod," she panted, setting her wine down so hard it sloshed on the table. "I love him."

"It's a good song," I agreed tepidly.

"No, I mean I really love him. The song, the voice, the man – I really want to throw my panties when I hear Tom Petty."

Since I was in her line of fire, I scooted back a little. Then I considered her words more carefully.

Oh, Lyle...
"I feel the same way about Lyle Lovett," I confessed.

"Yeah?"

"I hear him sing The Ballad of the Snow Leopard and the Tanquery Cowboy and I feel warm and tingly in my swimsuit areas."

She stared at me. "That's the weirdest sentence I've ever heard anyone utter."

It's true though. I can admit Lyle Lovett isn't conventionally attractive, and neither is Tom Petty. Yet both men spark the same reaction in two reasonably sane women. I've had similar conversations with other pals who feel urgently smitten with people who fall pretty far outside the stereotype of traditional human beauty. One friend is madly in love with actor Steve Buscemi, while another swoons over Ernest Hemmingway and a third desperately wishes to get naked with singer Bruce Cockburn (it's pronounced "co-burn," perverts).

It's an interesting phenomenon, but my Tom Petty loving friend had a quick explanation. "They're the boys who speak to your soul."

That made sense to me even after the wine wore off. There's this intangible, magical chemistry that draws one person to another, and it often defies easy explanation. I've read sloppily written romance novels where the author tries to convince the the reader two people are meant to be together simply because they find each other attractive and feel the urge to ride the baloney pony together.

Certainly that's part of creating a compelling romance, but it's not all there is to it. Capturing the inexplicable, magnetic thing that pulls one person toward another is a whole lot tougher for an author to do. It's not easy to show one person speaking to the soul of another, but it's something I strive for in any love story I write.

Do you have any inexplicable crushes on a famous person who doesn't fit the traditional mold of attractiveness? Can you name examples in books or movies of great outside-the-box chemistry? Please share!

I need a moment or two alone with Lyle.

32 comments :

Sarah W said...

My husband is aware that if Clancy Brown (Highlander, Earth2, voice actor) showed up on our doorstep with flowers, I would return home . . .eventually.

Lu/Grace said...

Steve Perry of Journey. Now I understand why, that whole speaking to my soul thing. Now excuse me while I crank up the tunes.

Missy Olive said...

OMG! I heart Lyle! I just bought tickets for us to see him on Dec 16th. I saw him regularly when I lived in Austin including up close and personal at the 4 seasons. I'm totally having withdrawals.

Patty Blount said...

Ugh! No! EWWW! Not Steve Buscemi! *shudders*

*flees screaming from blog*

Karla Nellenbach said...

I have to admit that I've always had a thing for Kevin Spacey *sigh*. I don't even know why, but I'm not questioning it.

Renee Nickel said...

You make me smile, laugh and wet my pants. Great way to start a Monday morning.

Patricia Eimer said...

My guilty secret is Anderson Cooper, I'll watch anything he does but hubby just rolls his eyes and walks away.

Thanks for the laugh this morning. Great way to start the week.

Patrick Alan said...

Matt Damon. Wait. What?

Elissa said...

I think you need to download a song from High Fidelity the Musical called "I slept with someone (who slept with Lyle Lovett". Me thinks you will find it enjoyable.

katebakes said...

Blair Shehan of The Jealous Sound, omg, mmm!

Anonymous said...

Jeff Goldblum. James Marsters (Spike from Buffy). Tim Roth (Lie to Me). And Hugh Laurie. I guess I like 'em old, snarky, and HOT :-)

Elizabeth Poole said...

Meat Loaf, as I have previously confessed on this blog. The way he sings and moves on stage definitely makes me want to throw my panties at him.

Norah Wilson said...

Love this conversation! I have a handful of these, but Warren Zevon (RIP, Warren) comes to mind. A male friend and I debated who loved him more. I said, "I would love him with my *mouth*." He conceded. ,-)

Also love Tom Petty, Mark Knopfler, John Hiatt.... And I totally got what Julia Roberts was thinking.

Julie Glover said...

I think Patrick Alan has himself confused with Sarah Silverman.

Anyway, male singing voices are a big sexy thing for me. John Mellencamp and Lenny Kravitz, for instance.

Tawna Fenske said...

Sarah W, you've piqued my interest....I'm going to have to go google the guy now!

Lu/Grace, oh yes! He had me at "Faithfully."

Missy Olive, I've seen Lyle in concert four times. Surprisingly, I have refrained from throwing my bra.

Patty, I'll admit Steve Buscemi doesn't do much for me, but I do understand the appeal!

Karla, oooh...I totally see the Kevin Spacey thing. Ed Norton is in that same ballpark for me, as is John Malkovich.

Renee, well yes, but now you have to change your pants.

Patricia, hands off Anderson Cooper. I have dibs.

Patrick, Matt Damon feels the same way about you.

Elissa, I'm listening to the song right now, thanks! This is hysterical!

katebakes, going to have to google him now, too!

Anonymous, I totally get the Hugh Laurie thing, even though I've never seen House. He had me with just a couple commercials for the show!

Elizabeth, LOL, you can keep Meatloaf all for yourself :)

Norah, ooooh, Mark Knopfler. Love the way that man plays!

Julie, it's not the first time Patrick has confused himself with someone infinitely cooler and with breasts.

Thanks for reading, guys!
Tawna

Taymalin said...

Elizabeth you are not alone! Meatloaf is sexy as hell when he's performing.

I have a really odd attraction to David Bowie in the movie Labyrinth. I don't know...maybe it's the tights?

I also have a thing for Star Trek era Brent Spiner A-Team era and Dwight Shultz.

If I'm looking at someone more age-appropriate, Jason Segel makes me giggle and swoon. Not always in that order.

My attraction gene may be faulty.

Patrick Alan said...

Where did my breasts go?

Skye said...

David Bowie. It's always been David Bowie for me, but Seal comes a close second.

Laura Fenske said...

ummm...David Letterman. I spent a lot of nights in 1998-99 watching him when Adam was working the night shift. He made me laugh and distracted me from the fact that I was alone in an apartment in Denver.

Bryan Thomas said...

Bebe Neuwirth from Cheers and Frasier.

Kristie Cook said...

Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger. Long time ago, the night before we saw the Rolling Stones in concert, I had a very hot dream about Mick Jagger. I woke up thinking WTF because he's just not very good looking. Neither of them. But so sexy, nonetheless.

Larissa said...

Anonymous, I am right there with you. Especially when Hugh Laurie speaks with his real accent. YUM.

And I also get the David Bowie in Labyrinth crush.

My semi-odd one is Peter O'Toole. I have watched How To Steal A Million waaaaaaay too many times.

KAte said...

Oh my god: Jeff Golblum and Gary Sinise!! I have always used them as my examples of having 'strange taste in men' and people usually go 'okay yeah you do have weird taste.'

But I have always considered David Bowie and James Marsters normal men to be smitten by. Although that could just be another sign of my weirdness...

Recently I'm very attracted to Gene Simmons' son Nick (while I am older than he is, it's not by so much as to be creepy) despite not really watching the show, whatever it's called. My better half insists that he closely resembles my first love both in looks and temperament. He's right, but regardless I still get a little weak-kneed whenever he pops up.

Delia said...

Sarah W, I hadn't even thought of Clancy Brown, but then you said it and I'm all, Ohhellyes, Kurgan! But also, Edward Norton. Mmmm. Great hands on that boy. Though, maybe he's a little too conventional. Oh, I know! Sam Elliot. And not young Sam Elliot, either. Gray Sam Elliot. Hubba hubba.

widdershins said...

I think the oddest 'odd couple' movie I've ever come across, and loved would have to be, 'Harold and Maude'

Meika said...

My not-cute guy is Jason Mraz. He's goofy-looking, but when he opens his mouth to sing...mmm...

Mark Simpson said...

Hmm. Ladies I might not normally find attractive but do because they somehow "get to me". Nope. Nothing. Damn. I do think Joan Jett is hot, does that count? Probably not.

It could be that it works the opposite way for guys--like how I recently googled pictures of Casey Anthony. It's amazing how being a cold blooded murderer (in all likelihood anyway) still doesn't somehow make her "un-cute".

But then I still wouldn't touch Jessica Simpson. Horrific crimes are one thing, but outright stupidity must be where my personal line finally lies.

Oh who am I kidding.

Durango Writer said...

Rutger Hauer, Brian Dennehey (long story), Robert Duvall, and yes, yes, yes Lyle Lovett.

Cheyenne Hill said...

Gary Oldman. Without a doubt. Hottest actor EVER...everything he does is infused with such passion. Particularly when he's playing the bad guys. YUM!

Cheyenne Hill said...

As for Lyle Lovett, he's not my cup of tea but I remember passing him sitting in first class when I was headed for coach on a flight out of Nashville when I used to live there. My first thought, "That guy's a bit tall." My second, "Oh! That's Lyle Lovett!" The funniest bit was he was reading a magazine that had Julia Roberts on the cover.

carlij_petty10 said...

Definitely Bob Dylan. But, like your friend, I am completely in love with Tom Petty. His voice is what pulled me in. His slight southern accent, along with the deepness in his voice. And his hair. Long blond hair. I love it. Men with long hair just down right turn me on. After seeing YouTube videos of him in the 70s and 80s I was just like damn. That guy is hot. Look at him. Then I just imagined if I was alive back in the 70s, I would probably be married to him right now. Hahah, but recently, I've had a thing for his man on lead guitar, mike campbell

carlij_petty10 said...

I definitely agree with your friend. I am completely in love with Tom Petty. It's insane. His deep voice with a bit of a southern accent, his long blonde hair and his adorable smile. I just really love his voice, it's the sexiest voice ive ever heard. I totally forget that he's 61, but I'm always picturing him in my head when he was 20-30 I don't care what anyone says, I find him extremely sexy. Haha, i used to think he was pretty homely, but i just got used to what he looked like and bam, he was hot. Haha, and along with Tom petty, his best friend, mike campbell. That man, is a beautiful man. Especially in his mud crutch days