Monday, February 6, 2012

A mouthful of something nasty

Though I've been living with a collection of male housemates for nearly a year now, there are still mornings I stumble downstairs and yelp at the sight of three grown men lounging at my eating bar.

One glance into our shared refrigerator is enough to remind me just how different my life has become. The freezer is packed with fish sticks and frozen french fries. The ratio of beer to milk is generally 10 to 1. The housemate who hails from Louisiana makes sure we have two metric tons of butter on hand at all times.

We share staple items like flour, milk, and eggs, but have a hands-off respect for special purchases like wine or meat or candy.

At least until someone gets hungry. Then all bets are off.

"What's in that Styrofoam box in the freezer?" one of the housemates asked the other night. "It tastes awful."

"Styrofoam box?" I asked.

"Yeah. It looks like candy but it doesn't taste good."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Tell me you didn't eat the bloodworms."


"The little frozen cubes in the foil packet?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that's it. What are bloodworms?"

"They're a form of mosquito larva."

He frowned, looking a little green. "Why do you have mosquito larva in the freezer?"

"They're for the fish! In the aquarium? Haven't you watched me feed them pretty much every night? Why on earth would you eat that?"

He shrugged. "I thought it was chocolate."

"Chocolate that looks like hunks of frozen blood?"

It's likely there was beer involved. Which reminds me, we're running low. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten, either by accident or on purpose? Please share!

And I'll be happy to share my chocolate anytime.


Anonymous said...

Crispy fried crickets - with a dead person in the room next door. Long story!!!


Sarah W said...

Never, ever, eat or drink anything a toddler gives you without thorough and specific investigation concerning what it is and where it originated.

That's all I'm prepared to say.

Anonymous said...

OMG. Frozen blood popsicles? That's the sickest thing I've ever heard of! Apart from mushrooms, can't stomach the things. Barf.

Teri Anne Stanley said...

I had a boyfriend in college (note the past tense, and "college" before you judge me)...who we called MilkBone Bob. Need more detail? I didn't think so.

Patty Blount said...

Meow Mix.

I thought it was a new cereal and it WAS in a regular bowl rather than the cat's dish.

It wasn't bad, actually.

Kelsey said...

*Bursts out laughing* Can I come live with you?

Skye said...

Ivory soap. I was 3 and it looked like an ice cream bar. Since then, just occasional gross-tasting regular food. Or escargot (1 time). Oysters (1 time).

Laina said...

*shudders* Ewwww.

I ate a fly once. I was talking and the car window was open and... well, you can figure out the rest.

Oh, but my mom says when I was kid, I ate the ants out of an ant trap and about two cups of coffee straight out of the tub.

Dana Strotheide said...

OH man... that totally made me laugh until I snorted. :) Just what I needed this morning. I, like Teri Anne's boyfriend, used to eat MilkBones. Though I was 2, and would climb into the cupboard and share them with the dog... so I like to think of it as more adorable than disgusting. :)

D.B. Adams said...

I. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

My husband has two aquariums, and so we have frozen bloodworms in our freezer and live black worms in the refrigerator. Thank God I've never ingested either, but we once had a visitor from London bring beer over and decide to cool a few bottles in the black worms. I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a beverage cooler, it was worms. No harm no foul, right?

Oh, and the grossest thing I've ever eaten? It's a tie between clotted chicken's blood and seasoned bamboo worms (both in Thailand).

Crystal Posey said...


And oh my God... GAG. I don't have anything to share. If I don't know what it is or don't like the looks of it I don't eat it. I'm picky and unwilling to branch out. THIS drives husband nuts.

German Chocolate Betty said...

May that'll learn 'em to not raid the fridge without checking first...

(hahahaha.....loved this story!)

Christine Rains said...

Ack! *LOL* Oh man! I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. The grossest thing I ever ingested was accidentally drinking a soda that someone had put their cigarette butt in. Ug.

Kimberly Sabatini said...

I have three boys and I'm having these kinds of conversations already! *head thunk* CLASSIC!

Kate George/Bodacious Betty said...

I have water running out of my eyes, I laughed so hard!

I took a drink of soda a bee had flown into once. Spit coke all over my college math homework about five minutes before class.

I wanna come visit you!

Anonymous said...

This was a perfect read for the end of a long day! HILARIOUS! I can't imagine eating multiple bloodworms, oh god. I would've wretched. I think the worst thing I ever ate, like so many others, was a dog biscuit.