Pythagoras is shopping for a new bike seat.
Apparently, his nose is pressing uncomfortably against his man nuggets (I’ll pause for a moment while you laugh as hard as I did at the fact that “nose” is the technical term for the front of a bike seat. Done? Let’s continue).
For those who don’t know, my husband is a fitness junkie. A competitive cyclist who recently branched into triathlons, his idea of “a quick bike ride” is 90 miles up the side of a mountain.
The seat on his tri-bike looks a bit like a medieval torture device. This is the one he currently trains on:
Looks painful, no?
So when he said he wanted a more comfortable one, I was picturing the banana seat from the Schwinn I had as a kid.
When he showed me the new seat he has in mind, I choked on my wine.
“That’s your idea of comfortable?” I demanded.
“It’ll shift the pressure to my sit-bones in the aero position,” he explained. “A lot of urologists recommend this type of saddle.”
“Didn’t they use something like that to torture Mel Gibson in Braveheart?”
He ignored me and went back to his online search for bike seats (or “saddles” as I’ve been told I should call them).
Obviously, the nomenclature of cycling isn’t the only thing I fail to grasp. I honestly don’t get how any of those seats can be deemed “comfortable,” but I suppose it’s all in the eye of the nut holder.
I’ve seen the way Pythagoras looks at me after I’ve spent twelve straight hours at my computer performing a complex ritual of blogging, tweeting, and writing several chapters of a manuscript.
“I’d kill myself if I had to do your job,” he told me once.
Hey, at least I don’t have a nose in my crotch, but I do see his point. What seems like torture to one person is another person’s idea of fun.
Do you have people in your life who see your pursuit of writing as the equivalent of sticking bamboo up your nostrils and soaking your face in grapefruit juice? Is there anyone close to you who enjoys something you cringe just watching? Please share in the comments.
I have to go confirm with my husband’s doctor that his new bike seat won’t render him useless to me.