Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The magazines you don't want to know about

A big part of my day job involves pitching story ideas to various media outlets. The object is to look for journalists and publications likely to write about intriguing aspects of my fair city, and then to annoy the crap out of them until they do what I want      suck up as shamelessly as possible    use my professional powers of persuasion to elicit the desired coverage.

Several weeks ago, I was pitching a piece on a conference scheduled for this fall. I used my handy PR software to search keywords like "technology," "design," and "creative" in hopes of finding publications that might have an interest in this particular conference.

I found what I was looking for, but I also found some publications with titles that made me laugh until my boss came in and asked what was so funny. In case you find them amusing as well, here's a list of honest-to-goodness publications:

  • Archives of Oral Biology
  • Cretaceous Research
  • Fish & Shellfish Immunology
  • Hormones & Behavior
  • Hot Rod Deluxe
  • Journal of Elastomers and Plastics
  • Journal of Pain
  • Knives Illustrated
  • Mushroom Growers’ Newsletter
  • Mutation Research and Genetic Toxicology
  • Pest Bulletin
  • Physics of Fluids
  • Poor Magazine
  • Smallbits Magazine
  • Threat Level
  • Tomato Magazine
I opted not to target any of those magazines and newsletters, though I do plan to keep the list handy for future reference. Who knows when I might need to pitch someone a piece on elastomers?

Got a favorite on that list? How about a publication or book title that's not on the list, but still makes you smile? Please share!

I need to go renew my subscription to Knives Illustrated.


German Chocolate Betty said...

I work in information systems research and development doing esoteric stuff using lots of math and other theoretical stuff.

My dept head came in one day, somewhat perturbed, asking why on earth I had requested the library at our institute to purchase a book called "Theory of Hints"...

He thought I'd ordered something to amuse myself. Of course, when he opened the book and saw it was packed full of equations, he changed his mind.

Seriously. There is a mathematical theory of hints. And it's heavy stuff.

Dr. Cheryl Carvajal said...

I need to subscribe to Poor Magazine. Maybe it will help me with my coupon clipping.

Sarah W said...

Our library department archives a lot of periodicals from various state historical societies. One of these is the Annals of Iowa.

You wouldn't believe how many scholars forget there are two Ns in Annal.

Anonymous said...

HA!!! That's funny! The Journal of Pain....someone could take that to a naughty place, huh?

Linda G. said...

Hmmm...I might have to subscribe to Hormones & Behavior. ;)

CKHB said...

I used to work for a magazine consultancy, and we got sent an issue of PRISON LIFE magazine. The tagline emphasized its circulation in terms of "captive audience."

The inmates' art and poetry was amazing. Interviews with celebrities who did time. And, the best personals section EVER.

Matthew MacNish said...

I like Shakespeare's analysis of Poor Magazine. I was picturing it more like just a publication put together by extremely lazy people who didn't care too much about quality, and just wanted to get their rag out there.

Maureen said...

Personally (having a warped mind), I'm waiting for when they trap a serial killer through his lifetime subscription to KNIVES ILLUSTRATED.

I mean seriously. Does the FBI know about this???


Anonymous said...

I'll have you know "Hot Rod Deluxe" is a terrific mag! Harrumph.


German Chocolate Betty, there are many days where I think I could use "The Theory of Hints."

Shakespeare, you know what's funny? Poor Magazine is the only one on that list I bothered to look up because I was so curious about the name. Here's the description, and you're actually not too far off: "Poor Magazine is a poor people led/indigenous people led, grassroots non-profit,arts organization dedicated to providing revolutionary media access, art, education and advocacy to silenced youth, adults and elders in poverty across the globe."

Sarah W, I love the word "annals!"

lynnrush, by "someone" you mean pretty much everyone reading this blog, right?! :)

Linda G, I'm sending you a gift subscription for your birthday.

CKHG, that sounds like a really cool magazine, actually, I'm tempted to look it up.

Matthew, see my note above to Shakespeare about Poor Magazine. If I remember right, it was founded by a couple of formerly-homeless individuals. Go figure, huh?

Maureen, no kidding, you've gotta wonder who subscribes to that one!

Steve, the fact that you're a subscriber is gravely disappointing to me, because now I must accept the fact that it's probably a car magazine and not porn. Thanks for killing my fantasy, dude.

Thanks for reading, guys!