Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The boys who live with me and pull my hair

One of the best things about having two 27-year-old male housemates is that they sometimes walk from the shower to their bedrooms wearing only a towel.

I’m lying. I’ve never seen either of them do that, and frankly, I’d be a little creeped out if I did.

Though I joke about my little male harem, our relationship is definitely more brother/sister than Charlie Sheen/porn star. In fact, one of the things I love best about “the boys” is how completely oblivious they are to me.

It keeps me humble.

Several weeks ago, one of the housemates stomped in after having dinner with his parents visiting from Chicago.

“My mom thinks you’re famous,” he muttered. “She wants your autograph, and now I have to go buy your book so she can send it to my grandma. What the hell is your book called?”

I glanced from the giant stack of Making Waves bookmarks on the kitchen counter to the assortment of Making Waves notecards on my desk. Then I toed aside the big, open box of Making Waves author copies in the foyer.

“Let me write that down for you,” I said.

So he headed off to Barnes and Noble and returned with my book and a very nice bottle of Pinot Noir from his mother. “How the hell did she know you like wine?” he asked.

“Everyone knows I like wine,” I admitted as I signed a book for his grandmother (who later sent me a delightful thank you note).

Another time I decided I wanted a photo of me being dragged by the hair to accompany my final Debutante Ball blog post. A friend offered to snap the picture and approached one of the housemates to assist.

“Would you mind grabbing Tawna by the hair and pretending to drag her out the door while I take a picture?” he asked.

The housemate shrugged. “Sure, as long as you hurry up,” he said. “I don’t want to miss the sunset.”

The phrase, “what for?” never crossed his lips.

Not that any explanation beginning, “there’s this blog…” would have been met with anything but a blank stare.

Both housemates have been called upon to draw blog contest winners at one time or another. Despite me informing them on multiple occasions that I mention them sometimes (like here or here or here or here or here), they always look a little mystified when I say anything about the blog

“Do people read it?” one of them asked in a rare moment of faked interest.

“Er, sometimes.”

“And I’m in it?”

“Well, that’s not all it’s about,” I started to explain.

“Bummer. People would probably like that.”

Indeed, they would. Maybe we should consider changing up the blog so it’s all housemates, all the time?

Or maybe I’ll just lurk in the hall until the opportunity presents itself to snap one of those towel photos.


Patrick Alan said...

I'm still having trouble with this reverse Three's Company setup you have going. Shouldn't you have to pretend to be gay or something???

Rick said...

I will reserve judgment about whether you need to set up another room so I can come live with you until towel photos are posted.

Ricky Bush said...

Hey, those housemates just might generate another subgroup of reader for your work. Specially if you keep featuring you being dragged about by the hair. Cavemen would luv it.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Towel pictures. Definitely. LOL!

Anne Gallagher said...

That's funny he didn't know the name of your book. Men are so like that.

And yeah, I'd like a peek at a boy in a towel.

Matthew MacNish said...

You may need to treat your deck. It's looking a little frumpy.

Unknown said...

I think I most enjoy the brother-sister relationships I have with guys (other than my hubby). I have always felt most comfortable hanging out in garages with the guys, as opposed to mall perusing with the girls.

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Your housemates sound like fun. Maybe you could model two of your characters after them.

Anonymous said...

It always sounds like you and your housemates have a great thing going. That's definitely a wonderful thing.

Also, that hair picture? AWESOME. ~Ali

Writer Pat Newcombe said...

Your housemates sound like great characters? Mmmmm.... idea alert!

Anonymous said...

Seriously, next cover needs to be one of those towel shots. Oh yeah, I'd buy that. lol

Sarah W said...

Question: Was the housemate who complained about buying your book the same one who looked at the vegetables you cooked that one night and said, "They're green." ?

Just wondering.

And I vote for towel shots, too.

(what would be in a towel shot? Would it be anything like a fuzzy navel? Because towels are fuzzy and, you know . . . navels . . . )

Unknown said...

The real question is: When can I move in?

Anonymous said...

My BF takes the same amount of interest in my blog and writing as your housemates do. Luckily, he doesn't live with me.


Patrick, good idea. I'll get right on the gay act. Let me start by summoning all my friends over for a tickle fight in our underwear. No, you can't watch.

Rick, the guest room awaits your arrival.

Ricky, I've already been mulling having the housemates make cameo appearances in my next book!

lynnrush, I'll set up the hidden camera tonight.

Anne, I'm totally not exaggerating about MAKING WAVES paraphernalia being all over the house. Seriously.

Matthew, if you were standing here right now, I would kick you in the head. Suffice it to say, it's all I can do right now to keep the lawn mowed. House upkeep is a touchy issue in light of the divorce :)

M.E., I definitely like hanging out with these guys, and I'll be sad to see them go someday.

Neurotic Workaholic, this is an excellent evil plan! And I can rest assured neither of them will ever read the book.

Alwayscoffee, I keep expecting someone to make a filthy joke about how I like hair pulling.

Writer Pat Newcombe, I'm on it!

minxlaurel, funny, they're currently working on the cover for BELIEVE IT OR NOT. I'll have to suggest a towel shot :)

Sarah, wow, you have an excellent memory. That housemate was actually the 20-year-old who only lived with me a couple months until the school year ended. Then I got these two guys. Funny thing though, I just heard from the 20-year-old the other day. He's back in town for school and wanted to move in again :)

Malin, I have a guest room all ready for you!

Suz, my ex was like that. One of many reasons I'm glad he's my ex.

Thanks for reading, guys!

Hannah said...

Holy crap , that sounds awesome. I'm incredibly jealous of your fun housemates. I mean, I have one, but he's not around much and technically my partner. Sigh.